Flat lining, PIED or performance anxiety

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need_help

Member
Hi

I've quit porn and masturbation for for about 170 days now, a habit I've had for just under 2 decades. I've never had a problem with erections while involve in porn and masturbation, and even in the initial months after I quit, its only now around after the 160 day mark.

I have noticed myself getting weaker, no morning erections, erections take long to get full when I'm aroused and then too, physical stimulation is needed.

Am I flat lining? or could this be PIED or just performance anxiety?





 
D

dc6

Member
This is the exact opposite of what should happen. Have you ruled out medical issues? Can you masturbate to orgasm without porn or fantasy?

If you had no erection problems when you were viewing porn regularly, what led you to stop PMO in the first place?
 
N

need_help

Member
dc6 said:
This is the exact opposite of what should happen. Have you ruled out medical issues? Can you masturbate to orgasm without porn or fantasy?
Click to expand...

I have not ruled out medical issues and I'm on some meds now.  Personally I think its performance anxiety and stress.

dc6 said:
If you had no erection problems when you were viewing porn regularly, what led you to stop PMO in the first place?
Click to expand...

My wife found out about my habit. I stopped there and then, no cravings, no relapse, no urges. I've had 4 erection failures since I've quit. I haven't tried going for long periods without O, but I'm going to give that a try.

Why I dont think its PIED is because I enjoyed a healthy (normal) sex life even while PM
 
D

dc6

Member
If your erections are the same or similar without porn or porn fantasy (whether with your wife or solo) as they are when you view porn, then PIED should not be your problem and I'd tend to agree with your self assessment.
 
Bibbity

Bibbity

Active Member
Were you fantasizing about porn during sex with your wife?  This might account for erections during sex.  Are you aroused during sex but aren't able to get an erection or do you feel 'blah' during sex?
 
N

need_help

Member
dc6 said:
If your erections are the same or similar without porn or porn fantasy (whether with your wife or solo) as they are when you view porn, then PIED should not be your problem and I'd tend to agree with your self assessment.
Click to expand...

The were the same.

Bibbity said:
Were you fantasizing about porn during sex with your wife?  This might account for erections during sex.  Are you aroused during sex but aren't able to get an erection or do you feel 'blah' during sex?
Click to expand...

When with my wife, I've not fantasized about porn or anyone else. I don't feel 'blah' during sex.

I've gotten some weak erections over the last few days, but very unpredictable.

I've also had PE for a while now, so I've become obsessed with performance, and also the fear of not getting an erection and maintaining it (and the fear of this being permanent) is freaking me out.
 
B

bzarfas

Member
need_help said:
Hi

I've quit porn and masturbation for for about 170 days now, a habit I've had for just under 2 decades. I've never had a problem with erections while involve in porn and masturbation, and even in the initial months after I quit, its only now around after the 160 day mark.

I have noticed myself getting weaker, no morning erections, erections take long to get full when I'm aroused and then too, physical stimulation is needed.

Am I flat lining? or could this be PIED or just performance anxiety?
Click to expand...

what's your health like??
bodyfat percentage and/or BMI?
total Testosterone level?
T/E ratio?
Estradiol?
HS-CRP?

I asked because You are 30+? and I bolded an issue that is not mental,(does not matter about porn abuse) but matters about heart health.  ED is a canary warning to heart health.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21624550
http://www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2013/01/30/3678527.htm
Erectile problems can provide early warning of heart disease in apparently healthy men, a new study has found
 
V

vetrn

Member
I would tend to agree with bzarfas on this, you should seek professional medical attention as there are a number of things physically that could be causing the issues you are experiencing.  I will say that it could be something very simple like high blood pressure, or something ominous like an impending coronary event.  Either way, your doctor should be  made aware and a thorough exam done. Be sure to have them check your A1C to rule out diabetes as well.
 
N

need_help

Member
My BMI is 9.4.

as for total Testosterone level, T/E ratio, Estradiol, HS-CRP, and  A1C i'd I have to get tested and get the results.
 
B

bzarfas

Member
need_help said:
My BMI is 9.4.

as for total Testosterone level, T/E ratio, Estradiol, HS-CRP, and  A1C i'd I have to get tested and get the results.
Click to expand...
9 .4 is low are you sure about that?
that's be like me, 5'11" ,weighing 67.5lbs
so no, i don't buy it
do it again
http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/guidelines/obesity/BMI/bmicalc.htm


 
N

need_help

Member
bzarfas said:
9 .4 is low are you sure about that?
that's be like me, 5'11" ,weighing 67.5lbs
so no, i don't buy it
do it again
http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/guidelines/obesity/BMI/bmicalc.htm
Click to expand...

correct BMI 20.8 (5'4"", weighing 12lbs)
 
S

SO Reboot Partner

Guest
need_help said:
dc6 said:
This is the exact opposite of what should happen. Have you ruled out medical issues? Can you masturbate to orgasm without porn or fantasy?
Click to expand...

I have not ruled out medical issues and I'm on some meds now.  Personally I think its performance anxiety and stress.

dc6 said:
If you had no erection problems when you were viewing porn regularly, what led you to stop PMO in the first place?
Click to expand...

My wife found out about my habit. I stopped there and then, no cravings, no relapse, no urges. I've had 4 erection failures since I've quit. I haven't tried going for long periods without O, but I'm going to give that a try.

Why I dont think its PIED is because I enjoyed a healthy (normal) sex life even while PM
Click to expand...

Do you feel any resentment or guilt over other secrets? This could simply be a matter of unresolved feelings or lack of bonding.
 
N

need_help

Member
SO Reboot Partner said:
Do you feel any resentment or guilt over other secrets? This could simply be a matter of unresolved feelings or lack of bonding.
Click to expand...

There are no other secrets. But I do feel terribly regretful and guilty for what I've done. I keep asking myself how did I end up in this?, why didnt I stop (I did in first year of our marriage), why couldnt I be like other men who didnt get involved in PMO?
 
B

bzarfas

Member
need_help said:
SO Reboot Partner said:
Do you feel any resentment or guilt over other secrets? This could simply be a matter of unresolved feelings or lack of bonding.
Click to expand...

There are no other secrets. But I do feel terribly regretful and guilty for what I've done. I keep asking myself how did I end up in this?, why didnt I stop (I did in first year of our marriage), why couldnt I be like other men who didnt get involved in PMO?
Click to expand...
Don't blame yourself, you thought as we all did, you werent hurting anyone doing what you did.  Why do you think other men don't PMO? 

 
S

SO Reboot Partner

Guest
need_help said:
SO Reboot Partner said:
Do you feel any resentment or guilt over other secrets? This could simply be a matter of unresolved feelings or lack of bonding.
Click to expand...

There are no other secrets. But I do feel terribly regretful and guilty for what I've done. I keep asking myself how did I end up in this?, why didnt I stop (I did in first year of our marriage), why couldnt I be like other men who didnt get involved in PMO?
Click to expand...

Regret and guilt are erection killers, my friend. Is it possible that your problem stems from not forgiving yourself? (and hey, you are forgivable - the world didn't end)
 
S

savingmysoul

Active Member
I would think that being able to be forgiven, one would first need to be able to forgive oneself.
I too feel incredibly guity about the choices i continued to make for so long, knowing full well what this would do to my family, especially my wife.  And yet i continued until caught.  I still carry that guilt.  Its tough not too.

My PIED issues i believe are, by in large, a direct result of that guilt, the shame and not being able to fully forgive myself.  This too is a slow process.  I would tend to agree with SO, about guilt getting in the way of erections.  But it is a process and one that we need to go through.  One day at a time, knowing that tomorrow we will be a little bit better helps.  And as a process, as long as we stay true to why we are here, we will be successful. 

all of us.

stay strong.
 
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need_help

Member
Thanks for all the encouragement.

So this is where I am at the moment, Im on some meds (injections into the base of penis that increase blood flow - every 3 days) - should I stop?
I also noticed I don't really have libido right now.
Should I try going without O for 1 or 2 months?



 
V

vetrn

Member
I would not recommend stopping any medications without consulting your doctor need_help.  Be up front with them and let them know all the details as well.  Chances are they may go least invasive and see if the reboot works... V
 
N

need_help

Member
bzarfas said:
Don't blame yourself, you thought as we all did, you werent hurting anyone doing what you did.  Why do you think other men don't PMO?
Click to expand...

But that's just it, I did hurt someone - my wife. When I think about how much pain I've caused her - the guilt just piles in. That being said, we are still together and in a much better place than we were a couple months ago - and I am the luckiest guy in the world for her.
 
S

savingmysoul

Active Member
Dealing with the guilt and knowing that our choices have caused unimaginable pain to the one we love the most is tough to get over.  Then accepting the fact that for some of us denying what we were doing for such a long period and not realizing what it was we were doing can make it worse.

Hang in there, stay strong.  This can be beaten, you can overcome.  One of the best sayings i have come across along my process is Don't give up what you want most for what you want today.

 
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