I am not going back

Peter

Member
I have been trapped since 2008,all of my relationships didn't last a month from then,this feeling of not caring about chicks.I don't know how to explain it ,having conversation with a  girl was my thing. now I want to be free and glad I can do that with support or inspiration from people who are working towards a same goal as me. I last watched porn 31 I have my pmo tracker set .
 

Chaos Mind

Active Member
Will you tell us the difference between:

- Peter before porn (before 2008?)
- Peter during heavy porn consumption (2008-2014?)
- Peter of the porn-free future (2015 to death)

That could be good start for you!
 

Peter

Member
I use to like meeting new people, liked drawing had little input in community activities (eg giving lessons in computer centre) .

porn made me to be a isolated ,helpless and didn't think is a problem until I attempted to stop.I was at that point that i will masturbate like I'm forced to do it. I had sleepless nights trying to find new types of porn .I always thought it was normal to watch porn .

I want to be free now, stopped watching most of TV shows ,want to go out more , want to be normal again .I moved my PC from my room to a place where everyone can see me my cellphone is off after 10 and never will I  use it when I'm alone in my room. I started exercising and started reading a book called" how to change when change is hard  " .I will look into other things i can do with my spare time .I know it will be difficult but I'm more than prepared as now I know most of my triggers .I wish everyone success we can do this. .
 

brewster

Member
You're on the right track! It's amazing how much time and energy you have when you aren't stuck on porn for sometimes hours a day. A lot of wasted time in my life, but it's always better late than never! Keep us updated.
 

Peter

Member
I'm relapsing without even going 5 or more days free.I am reading "how to change when change is hard " and there is this part that author says one need to start with small achievements so they can get the confidence of bigger goals .

My problem is that I have set a unreachable goal that is why my brain has an excuse against me. I will try again.

how to insert pmo tracker?

 

Maxime

Active Member
Learn about counters : http://legacy.rebootnation.org/index.php?topic=58

Believe in your goals! They are reachable!
 

Chaos Mind

Active Member
It can be tough to set your goals too optimistic. But in my opinion there is also a risk in setting them too weak.
Let's assume you were going for the full 90 days...you relapsed after day 4 or 5 and at some point you resignate with the thought "I am never going to make it". Others say "no porn for one week" and they'll succeed, but always relapse only one or two days afterwards.

Your main focus should be on: how do I get my motivation stay high? Bear the benefits in mind and be strict.
At my first attempt I told myself that I would never ever be watching porn again. And I am doing pretty good so far, because I have a motivation and I am completely strict. I think a 30-days goal (and even a 90-days goal) would not work for me. Everybody's different and you've got to find out what helps you in particular.

My problem is that I have set a unreachable goal that is why my brain has an excuse against me. I will try again.

What's the mark going to be this time? 30 days?
 

Chaos Mind

Active Member
Ok then. But you know what they say, don't you? If you reduce your goals, make sure you REACH them. No excuses anymore, right?

And keep your journal updated. We will be here for you, but we can only help if you talk to us :) Good luck, mate!
 

Kubrick

Member
I think it will be much easier for you to make this life decision. There is no magical force that will make you leave whatever you're doing, make you type the name of the pornsite, pick one you like and get your dick out. It's very active and conscious process. It's all you, ChaosMind gave you great advice, be strict! There is certain time between decision to fap and orgasm, not alot but enough to stop that process. Just imagine giant X and say NO! Turn around, put your focus somewhere else and that's it.  Becuase if you're focused on 30days strike you're giving yourself subtle clue that you'll fap again after those 30 days, and than your brain will play games on you easier - 'why wait 30 days, when you can do it right, just this one time and you'll do your reboot sometimes later'

And educate yourself about porn industry, no girl wants to be a porn star when she is 10, porn industry is connected with human traffic, abuse etc. It's basically filmed prostitution. And every time you watch porn you're supporting all of the above. It helped me a lot to restrain myself from porn when I had moral and ethical reason not to watch them. 

And whatever is on your mind you can post here, we will read and give you advice.  :)
 

Peter

Member
I feel great today ,thank you  for the replies. I want to reflect about this problem in the next months and just laugh because I'll be free. I'm starting to think that TV has to be slashed out my life or just pick which shows are appropriate to watch. I haven't thought about p since I saw that reply which was motivating .

Thank you for the support,  I will keep this pace and let y'all know every step.

 

Peter

Member
day 6: For some reason I feel depressed but haven't had desire to pmo. I'm so down like never before just tired.
 

Peter

Member
Is a wet dream a relapse?

Been well this days my mind is clear,  but still have urges sometimes not as strong as they use to be. My confidents is better now  ,starting to see women as people i can engage with  .

Things not bad so far , my next counter it will be 90 days.
 

Maxime

Active Member
Most people say it's not a relapse because you did not purposefully looking for porn or stimulation.
 

Peter

Member
I don't remember the last time i felt so free, this forum helps. I no longer make excuses so confident and in control. Yesterday my mind wanted to play a trick on me (just do it once it's not a setback ) I just went out for a walk .

taking cold showers, skipping nude scenes in movies and  reading etc helped me alot.

?I have no regrets in my life. I think that
everything happens to you for a reason.
The hard times that you go through
build character, making you a much
stronger person.?

 

Peter

Member
I don't remember the last time i felt so free, this forum helps. I no longer make excuses so confident and in control. Yesterday my mind wanted to play a trick on me (just do it once it's not a setback ) I just went out for a walk .

taking cold showers, skipping nude scenes in movies and  reading etc helped me alot.

?I have no regrets in my life. I think that
everything happens to you for a reason.
The hard times that you go through
build character, making you a much
stronger person.?

 

obber

Member
Nice going Peter, I admire you're ability to just walk away when the thoughts come knocking at your door.

I'm going to follow your lead and try to apply that!

Keep going, stay strong!
 
M

mtaha2015

Guest
as peter said , he had no regrets for his life.
I should adopt the same attitude.
I will listen to affirmations once a day and will meditate too daily 5 mins.
this is not a swing.
This is a conscious choice.
 

Peter

Member
All day long I was fighting urges, this triggers were initiated by ex girlfriend which I lost because of porn addiction.I was and still am blaming myself that I lost that girl.I have to say my resisting power is amazing, but I still feel like shit . hope I find a way to handle this relapse got no chance.
 
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