Johnny1234
Member
I discovered this site a little over a week ago. To say it has been enlightening would be an enormous understatement. In an effort to not be a novel writer for my first post, I will put what I have to say in bullets.
About me
- I'm 28 years old
- I suffer from GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder)
- I take Xanax as needed for times when anxiety is out of control
- I try to meditate daily, and have been doing so for nearly a month
- I have pretty significant self esteem / self worth issues
- I am a moderate drinker (only weekends)
- I am a former heavy pot smoker (quit smoking regularly over a year ago, quit completely 3 months ago)
- I work out 4 days a week, and eat a moderately healthy diet (no fast food)
- I've been regularly masturbating to internet porn since I was around 14 or 15
- I lost my virginity when I was 17
- I have experienced ED to varying degrees with every girl I have been with, and it has gotten worse as I have gotten older
- I have "successfully" been with 5 girls
- I have unsuccessfully been with at least 5 others
- One night stands are out of the question because I have to be real comfortable with a girl to have any hope of getting an erection
- It is common for me to struggle to get an erection, finally get one, and ejaculate very prematurely
- The best sex I have ever had (by far) was when I was stoned
- I am a extreme "grower," so although respectable when erect, flaccid state is quite embarrassing (this is a major factor in my insecurity)
- HOCD was a foreign concept to me until I found this site, but I definitely have a little bit of that going on ("Why can't I get it up? I'm not gay am I")
- I definitely had addictive behavior towards porn
- Lately, I could barely achieve an erection until I was just ready to orgasm
- I dabbled with masturbating on webcam in front of strangers (that is tough to admit)
- I convinced myself that it was going to help me overcome my "shyness," but in reality it was just something new that provided a little bit of a rush. It was very difficult to get it up in that setting (pretty much only guys watching), but I was able to from time to time.
- Due to my porn use and lack of confidence, I had very little drive to actually have sex with women
- My last relationship of three years ended with the last year of the three completely void of intimate interaction (I was PMOing daily)
- I went nearly two years with nothing but porn
- The reason I am here is because I have started dating a girl that I am very much into
- We've successfully had sex twice (one of which was actually respectable), I've been unsuccessful going on 10 times
- I thought that once I "broke the ice" with her (see above), I would be good to go. Not the case.
- She's reached the end of her rope with being patient with me.
- After the most recent failure, we talked at length about it. She feels degraded. I explained that I have confidence issues, and I think she is going to be understanding for a little while longer.
- After discovering YBOP, I have been porn and fap free for 10 days
- My most recent failure with the new gf (who I only get to see on weekends btw) included a lengthy and frustrating struggle to get an erection followed by nearly immediate ejaculation upon penetration
Why I'm posting
- I've learned that talking about it is a big help (even with strangers on the internet)
- I would love to get input from others that have gone through, or are going through similar circumstances
- I don't think a trip to the family doctor will help, but maybe I'm wrong there?
- Porn is out of my life, and honestly I don't fee like I even miss it that much. However, I feel like my most recent premature ejaculation could have been due to the fact that I had not had an orgasm in a week. I'm not sure I've had an ejaculation with that much "volume."
- I'm all for helping myself get through this, but I need to be able to preform for my new girlfriend soon or I am going to lose her. I'm considering masturbating a day or two before I see her next (porn free of course) just so I don't feel like I'm going in with a "loaded gun."
Any questions, comments, or thoughts are welcome, and would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks!
About me
- I'm 28 years old
- I suffer from GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder)
- I take Xanax as needed for times when anxiety is out of control
- I try to meditate daily, and have been doing so for nearly a month
- I have pretty significant self esteem / self worth issues
- I am a moderate drinker (only weekends)
- I am a former heavy pot smoker (quit smoking regularly over a year ago, quit completely 3 months ago)
- I work out 4 days a week, and eat a moderately healthy diet (no fast food)
- I've been regularly masturbating to internet porn since I was around 14 or 15
- I lost my virginity when I was 17
- I have experienced ED to varying degrees with every girl I have been with, and it has gotten worse as I have gotten older
- I have "successfully" been with 5 girls
- I have unsuccessfully been with at least 5 others
- One night stands are out of the question because I have to be real comfortable with a girl to have any hope of getting an erection
- It is common for me to struggle to get an erection, finally get one, and ejaculate very prematurely
- The best sex I have ever had (by far) was when I was stoned
- I am a extreme "grower," so although respectable when erect, flaccid state is quite embarrassing (this is a major factor in my insecurity)
- HOCD was a foreign concept to me until I found this site, but I definitely have a little bit of that going on ("Why can't I get it up? I'm not gay am I")
- I definitely had addictive behavior towards porn
- Lately, I could barely achieve an erection until I was just ready to orgasm
- I dabbled with masturbating on webcam in front of strangers (that is tough to admit)
- I convinced myself that it was going to help me overcome my "shyness," but in reality it was just something new that provided a little bit of a rush. It was very difficult to get it up in that setting (pretty much only guys watching), but I was able to from time to time.
- Due to my porn use and lack of confidence, I had very little drive to actually have sex with women
- My last relationship of three years ended with the last year of the three completely void of intimate interaction (I was PMOing daily)
- I went nearly two years with nothing but porn
- The reason I am here is because I have started dating a girl that I am very much into
- We've successfully had sex twice (one of which was actually respectable), I've been unsuccessful going on 10 times
- I thought that once I "broke the ice" with her (see above), I would be good to go. Not the case.
- She's reached the end of her rope with being patient with me.
- After the most recent failure, we talked at length about it. She feels degraded. I explained that I have confidence issues, and I think she is going to be understanding for a little while longer.
- After discovering YBOP, I have been porn and fap free for 10 days
- My most recent failure with the new gf (who I only get to see on weekends btw) included a lengthy and frustrating struggle to get an erection followed by nearly immediate ejaculation upon penetration
Why I'm posting
- I've learned that talking about it is a big help (even with strangers on the internet)
- I would love to get input from others that have gone through, or are going through similar circumstances
- I don't think a trip to the family doctor will help, but maybe I'm wrong there?
- Porn is out of my life, and honestly I don't fee like I even miss it that much. However, I feel like my most recent premature ejaculation could have been due to the fact that I had not had an orgasm in a week. I'm not sure I've had an ejaculation with that much "volume."
- I'm all for helping myself get through this, but I need to be able to preform for my new girlfriend soon or I am going to lose her. I'm considering masturbating a day or two before I see her next (porn free of course) just so I don't feel like I'm going in with a "loaded gun."
Any questions, comments, or thoughts are welcome, and would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks!