The start to my healing.. Accountability Partner needed

Hey guys!
I stumbled upon this site. and ended up spending about 2 hours on here instead of watching porn. So thats a start!

I'm 0 days with no PMO and have never really tried quitting before.
I'm not sure when i started but i know it was around puberty and never thought it was a problem till my last relationship. it wrecked he, she didnt feel good enough and i didnt see a problem. the relationship wasnt the same after she knew i watched porn alot. she was a smoke show and wasnt getting the attention she deserved. So after that relationship i was single for awhile. on the prowl, getting plenty of strange and living life! it was a blast. then i met THE GIRL. she is perfect! i never thought that a women like this existed. and we have been dating for about 2 1/2 years. i have no idea how im able to keep her around but i still am. our sex life isnt what it used to be, like when we first met. and i dont know how to tell her that i have this addiction, without totally messing things up. i have no doubt that she will help me and be supportive but i really hate letting down.. i hate looking weak in her eyes.

I'm still learning about all this because today is the first day i have done any research on it. ive looked at the side effects of this addiction and it explains SO MUCH about some of my obstacles in life in general!

So that is my quick version i suppose. im looking for any kind of Accountability Partner to help me.
im having a hard time coming to terms with saying i have an addiction, because quite honestly i can quite anything. smoking and chewing have been super easy for me. i literally have a tin of chew sitting by my key board that has dust on it! but i have now realized that i have a problem and i need to try my hardest to fix it!

So if anyone want to be my Accountability Partner that would be awesome!

And if anybody have some good meditation techniques or any other ideas to get rid of urges please let me know!

Thanks,

Hello. Keep going ahead bro. I am relapsed today. Starting from tomorrow

4/18/19

First full day ahead of me. I really want to make this happen. i did a morning frontal lobe meditation and im hoping it helps me stay focused and help with my decision making skills today. I am a graphic designer so i sit at a computer all day. the temptation is always there. So anyone with any tricks please comment!

Do or die said:

Hello. Keep going ahead bro. I am relapsed today. Starting from tomorrow

Click to expand...

And its all good man! I have been just doing research on this addiction instead of relapsing to scare me from doing. one thing i noticed is when i read the side effects it tends to get rid of the urge. you can do it!

Welcome to the board! Good to see you are starting a journal as soon as you have decided to quit. Really, take it seriously and once you do quite STAY VIGILANT. I quit a few times and went back to it, it happens because of arrogance, thinking it's done and not being ready to fight on urge when needed. So what I am saying is, keep the journal going and cut this problem out of your life FOREVER. Watching porn is terrible for our lives, so remember, it is to be cut out completely.

As far as dealing with urges, exercise helps a ton. Exercise in general, but if you have a really strong urge.... do some exercise that is one of the most effective ways to overcome it.

Great that you have a girlfriend! When you cut the porn out for a long period of time, wow the connection and enjoyment you have with her will be amazing. BUT, not to be negative but remember even if your relationship ended you still have to quit PMO FOR YOU! Just saying this cause if the girlfriend is the only motivation you could become vulnerable if you two ever split. This is very common, relapse after break ups (it happened to me) So you have every angle covered and make sure to cut this stuff out of your life permanently.

I'm down accountability partner up.

Quitforeverthenwin

Yeah I figured i would try to use this as part of a distraction. but i have started working out again so that helps! its nice that our weather is cooperating now too. i can finally run outside! haha

And yeah she is the main motivation for me to better myself inside and out, but I am also doing it for myself. i'm hoping that it helps with motivation and brain fog. because that one of the things i have seen the most effect from all this.

How long have you been trying to be PMO free?

-racer303

Hmmm, maybe 4 years. I have not masturbated to porn in 3 years, so there is some progress for sure. But still have issues. Masturbating in general is a no go for me. Glancing at porn also bad.

Wow thats very impressive! I'm at 6 days! I just had the urge to go look but came on here instead! I'm just about done with work. sending emails out and going to bed. But when im doing the boring stuff like emails my brain wonders. doesnt help that im working late. but im trying my hardest to keep it going! I've went like 10 days without Porn or masturbation before but I was on vacation. it seems to be easier to forget about it when you are busy and having fun. So i'm going to keep trying that haha.

Also I have not been "glancing" either which i know can be very hard not to do too.

OOFTA! the urges are crazy hard today! I'm going to head out for a run right now! just need to get active i think! hopefully this works. i was sooo close but came here first and it distracted me!

And we got perfect weather for a run so here i go! 7 days strong! feels like forever when youre trying to overcome it.

It's gonna get easier soon. Be strong because otherwise you'll have to go through it again. I didn't tell my girlfriend what I was going through and I can tell you it was a mistake.
I couldn't keep up with her sexdrive which was disappointing for both of us. I had a huge feeling of emptiness after sleeping with her because I had to force erections, so she probably linked having sex with me with pushing her away.
I went through a lot of feelings from restlessness to depression and super horny to completely distant within hours. That must have not only been annoying and very unattractive but also must have made her feel bad and angry with me, because I could also not tell her what the fuck is going on.
The best way for me would have been to abstain from all orgasm and erections that I had to force and fight the addiction with a partner that is involved and thus supportive. However involving your partner is a sensible topic for many people, including me. Looking back I would have told her that I want to abstain all kinds of sexual stimuli for a while because I think it will improve our relationship. Selling it in this way I have the feeling I wouldn't have had the feeling of being a weak piece of shit but strong and proactive. In further conversations I could have probably opened up more since the ice was already broken. Be aware of the sensibility of that topic and try not to scare off your partner by dropping your porn addiction in a wrong way. But I highly suggest to tell her enough so that she can understand when you're in a shitty mood or getting sexually passively aggressive for example, because you?re super horny but she?s not
Good luck

What helped me a lot with dealing with the urges was documenting my progress. I would give grades for cravings, mood from now on success in abstaining from sexual stimuli at the end of every day and plot it in a simple excel chart. Thus I can also see (and rememorizing which I found is very important!) how misbehavior affects my mood and observe the general trends. I would usually also make one or two comments at the end of every day of what I don't want me to forget. When the urges are huge this chart helps me to build up the motivation again not throw away what I already have accomplished. I uploaded that chart today in my Journal if you want to have a look at it.
Also have a look at the charts of this guy:
http://i.imgur.com/86oBKxt.png
and this guy:
https://www.reuniting.info/node/5956

Best regards

racer303 said:

OOFTA! the urges are crazy hard today! I'm going to head out for a run right now! just need to get active i think! hopefully this works. i was sooo close but came here first and it distracted me!

And we got perfect weather for a run so here i go! 7 days strong! feels like forever when youre trying to overcome it.

Click to expand...

Keep going strong man! That is awesome you are going for a run. Literally I think that is the best possible thing you can do when a strong urge occurs! Getting outside, working off that energy, changing that body chemistry. Great job, get through this urge and you'll feel great tomorrow for having done it and feel free to celebrate the accomplishment, simply by being really happy and proud of yourself!

got bad news today, the urges got crazy.. and i gave in. But i feel like 9 days was a good start to my journey. im whiling to keep going! quite honestly i think junk food had a bigger factor in it than i would think.. I got back from seeing the new avengers movie and had a bunch of snacks. ( I splurge on junk food when i go to movies lol) but i think after having all that sugar my brain was trying to use its same pathways for pleasure and i couldnt help myself. So I'm going to keep junk food to a minimum and see if that helps.

I appreciate everyone on here it honeslty helps alot. 9 days was a good start! I'm at 0 again but once i can reboot my brain i wont have to count the days!!

Heres to a another fresh start!

Oh by the way, to anyone that likes the marvel movies. this last avengers movie is one of the best yet! I literally was cheering in my chair and worried and sad all in one movie. such a bad ass movie! and dont bother waiting for a teaser at the end credits. there is no post credit scene! dont waste your time like i did. lol

That's great that you have the right attitude, the lapse happened and now you are ready to get back right to it!

The sugar absolutely is an insanely powerful trigger. I am not sure why but, when I would binge eat on junk food I almost always would lapse, this is the second lapse I have read about in the last couple of weeks where junk food was connected. What you said makes sense, it seems to activate the unaware lacking self control side of the brain. I don't fully know, but don't need to. All we gotta know is to stay away from that shit OR at least have a plan and be on high alert if it does pop up.