How do others cope with the lies, betrayal and promises to reform?
My PA partner betrays me all the time by looking at sexy babes in the flesh and in pixels. Then claims he wasn't looking at them. Gaslighting me all the time. He doesn't like getting caught out but he just denies it.
Betrays me by obsessing with porn and masturbation on a daily basis. Not sure if it's more often than that or not. Just very secretive. Seems to be a lot of guilt he gets from using porn.
Mechanical sex is all he can give me. No feelings of love, no foreplay. No making me feel special at all. No flowers, chocolates, music, dancing etc. Just criticism if I don't get off on his 30 second penetration act.
He has ED. Can get an erection but it only lasts for 30 seconds. I think it's due to porn.
I'm not bad to look at, not overweight, take care of myself.
He just lies to me when it comes to porn, blaming me for his sexual problems. Illogical.
Dishonesty
Disrespect.
He told me that sexy women want the guy to just get on with the main act. These women don't need any softening up and that's what makes them sexy. They'll do anything the guy wants. They don't care what it is, it gets them off. Apparently I'm not sexy as I want the 'softening up.' I'm not sexy at all for asking him to waste his time. Definition of non-sexy is apparently, asking that he give me some attention and postpone his turn and wait until I'm ready to climax before he gets his 30 seconds. He got furious when I asked him for that.
He got very angry and cracked up telling me how I had all the problems and not him. Then he gave me the silent treatment for 24 hours. Then starts talking with me like everything's normal. But it's not. Drives me crazy trying to work out how to respond to him as the problems aren't even spoken about. Just not dealing with them.
Been seeing a counselor by myself. My PA won't go with me. Not that helpful.
I don't know how to relate to that abuse. It's the gaslighting. Porn is making him crazy. Counsellor said I should think about making the break, but I love him and just want him to get back to being like he was before the porn made him crazy. But I'm starting to think that he was doing porn before too, but I didn't know about it and maybe it just wasn't as bad as it is now.
Any suggestions please? Or links to find the help I need to cope with the gaslighting and dishonesty? I know I need to change how I respond to his crazy, but I just haven't got the smarts to know how.
Thanks heaps.
My PA partner betrays me all the time by looking at sexy babes in the flesh and in pixels. Then claims he wasn't looking at them. Gaslighting me all the time. He doesn't like getting caught out but he just denies it.
Betrays me by obsessing with porn and masturbation on a daily basis. Not sure if it's more often than that or not. Just very secretive. Seems to be a lot of guilt he gets from using porn.
Mechanical sex is all he can give me. No feelings of love, no foreplay. No making me feel special at all. No flowers, chocolates, music, dancing etc. Just criticism if I don't get off on his 30 second penetration act.
He has ED. Can get an erection but it only lasts for 30 seconds. I think it's due to porn.
I'm not bad to look at, not overweight, take care of myself.
He just lies to me when it comes to porn, blaming me for his sexual problems. Illogical.
Dishonesty
Disrespect.
He told me that sexy women want the guy to just get on with the main act. These women don't need any softening up and that's what makes them sexy. They'll do anything the guy wants. They don't care what it is, it gets them off. Apparently I'm not sexy as I want the 'softening up.' I'm not sexy at all for asking him to waste his time. Definition of non-sexy is apparently, asking that he give me some attention and postpone his turn and wait until I'm ready to climax before he gets his 30 seconds. He got furious when I asked him for that.
He got very angry and cracked up telling me how I had all the problems and not him. Then he gave me the silent treatment for 24 hours. Then starts talking with me like everything's normal. But it's not. Drives me crazy trying to work out how to respond to him as the problems aren't even spoken about. Just not dealing with them.
Been seeing a counselor by myself. My PA won't go with me. Not that helpful.
I don't know how to relate to that abuse. It's the gaslighting. Porn is making him crazy. Counsellor said I should think about making the break, but I love him and just want him to get back to being like he was before the porn made him crazy. But I'm starting to think that he was doing porn before too, but I didn't know about it and maybe it just wasn't as bad as it is now.
Any suggestions please? Or links to find the help I need to cope with the gaslighting and dishonesty? I know I need to change how I respond to his crazy, but I just haven't got the smarts to know how.
Thanks heaps.