goodvibes144
Member
I've been struggling with this for years now I don't want to believe that I'm possibly gay I looked in forums but nothing is helping I really need your help mind listening to my story .......
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IT ALL STARTED WHEN 12 I GOT MY FIRST LAPTOP AND WAS INTORDUCED TO PORN AT AN YOUNG AGE IT STARTED WITH THE YOUTUBE VIDS OF TEASERS FOR STRAIGHT BOOK WORM PORNOS { TEACHER AND STUDENT} THEN IT WENT ON TO REDTUBE AND ECT. FRM THE STARTED I WAS ALWAYS SEXUALLY AND PHYSICALLY ATTRACTED TO WOMEN BUT YOU KNOW YOUR NOT ALWAYS GOING TO GET SOME WHEN YOUR IN MIDDLE SCHOOL AND I WAS ALWAYS A SHY GUY TO APPROACH THE LADIES SO I WOULD SEND MY SIS TO DO THE DIRTY WORK BUT ANYWAY PORN WAS MY ALTERNATIVE WHICH LED TO EXCESSIVE MASTURBATION I WOULD DO IT EVERYTIME I GOT THE CHANCE.. I THEN BEGAN WATCHING LESBIAN PORN, DAD AND DAUGHTER, 2 D**** 1 HOLE , ECT. IT WAS GETTING BAD ALL UP TO MY SUMMER BEFORE MY JUNIOR YEAR OF HIGHSCHOOL--------- BY THEN I WAS DESENSITIZED TO ALL PORN LESBIAN AND BLOWIES WERE MY MAIN FIX. THAT SUMMER ONE DAY I CAME ACROSS GAY PORN AND IT GOT ME EXCITED WHICH LED TO AN ERECTION I FELT SO BAD AND CLOSED MY PHONE BUT SOMETHING MADE ME GO BACK I BEGAN TO WATCH AND I PMO TO IT AFTER THAT I WAS GUILTY ALL SUMMER FOR WHAT I DID I COULDNT TRUST MYSELF ANYMORE I FELT LIKE I RUINED MYSELF FOREVER . BUT THEN IT GOT WORSE . bare with me please!!!!!!!
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JUNIOR YEAR: I was mid in the school year and I was seemingly not always fapping so much I'm thinking because of the anxiety school puts on you . but anyway I was cool had a cool group of friends and was on top of my classes in one of my classes there was this guy who my friend wasn't sure of his sexuality he knew him more than I did cause they lived by each other he would always joke id laugh it off all the time lmfaoo but he didn't always seem or act like it then one day I was walking down the hall and he gave me his phone number cause he needed the math hw I didn't really think anything of it I just moved and then he asked if we could hang out with a few friends I didn't mind because I don't judge gays so I hung out with him and he forcingly kissed me I began to reject than I let him it reminded of the porn which sparked my sensation for it we kept it on the low I thought maybe it was time for me to experiment so I can get over it I didn't really wanna do it I felt bad and upset with myself about the whole situation but I let my Johnson talk for me and ***** him IT WAS HORRIBLE I DIDNT LIKE IT ALL NOT WHAT I PICTURED FELT SO WRONG I JUST COULDNT WAIT TILL IT ENDED I HAD 0 ERECTION when he did finish he took me home I then deleted and blocked his number and never spoke to him and I've been trying to recover from that I know it was wrong but I'm just in fear daily with hocd I watch lesbian and straight stopped completely watching gayporn now I'm back on it and it is horrible I'm a Christian and I do believe in god and I always ask for his forgiveness but my addiction is a force of habit!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!
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IT ALL STARTED WHEN 12 I GOT MY FIRST LAPTOP AND WAS INTORDUCED TO PORN AT AN YOUNG AGE IT STARTED WITH THE YOUTUBE VIDS OF TEASERS FOR STRAIGHT BOOK WORM PORNOS { TEACHER AND STUDENT} THEN IT WENT ON TO REDTUBE AND ECT. FRM THE STARTED I WAS ALWAYS SEXUALLY AND PHYSICALLY ATTRACTED TO WOMEN BUT YOU KNOW YOUR NOT ALWAYS GOING TO GET SOME WHEN YOUR IN MIDDLE SCHOOL AND I WAS ALWAYS A SHY GUY TO APPROACH THE LADIES SO I WOULD SEND MY SIS TO DO THE DIRTY WORK BUT ANYWAY PORN WAS MY ALTERNATIVE WHICH LED TO EXCESSIVE MASTURBATION I WOULD DO IT EVERYTIME I GOT THE CHANCE.. I THEN BEGAN WATCHING LESBIAN PORN, DAD AND DAUGHTER, 2 D**** 1 HOLE , ECT. IT WAS GETTING BAD ALL UP TO MY SUMMER BEFORE MY JUNIOR YEAR OF HIGHSCHOOL--------- BY THEN I WAS DESENSITIZED TO ALL PORN LESBIAN AND BLOWIES WERE MY MAIN FIX. THAT SUMMER ONE DAY I CAME ACROSS GAY PORN AND IT GOT ME EXCITED WHICH LED TO AN ERECTION I FELT SO BAD AND CLOSED MY PHONE BUT SOMETHING MADE ME GO BACK I BEGAN TO WATCH AND I PMO TO IT AFTER THAT I WAS GUILTY ALL SUMMER FOR WHAT I DID I COULDNT TRUST MYSELF ANYMORE I FELT LIKE I RUINED MYSELF FOREVER . BUT THEN IT GOT WORSE . bare with me please!!!!!!!
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JUNIOR YEAR: I was mid in the school year and I was seemingly not always fapping so much I'm thinking because of the anxiety school puts on you . but anyway I was cool had a cool group of friends and was on top of my classes in one of my classes there was this guy who my friend wasn't sure of his sexuality he knew him more than I did cause they lived by each other he would always joke id laugh it off all the time lmfaoo but he didn't always seem or act like it then one day I was walking down the hall and he gave me his phone number cause he needed the math hw I didn't really think anything of it I just moved and then he asked if we could hang out with a few friends I didn't mind because I don't judge gays so I hung out with him and he forcingly kissed me I began to reject than I let him it reminded of the porn which sparked my sensation for it we kept it on the low I thought maybe it was time for me to experiment so I can get over it I didn't really wanna do it I felt bad and upset with myself about the whole situation but I let my Johnson talk for me and ***** him IT WAS HORRIBLE I DIDNT LIKE IT ALL NOT WHAT I PICTURED FELT SO WRONG I JUST COULDNT WAIT TILL IT ENDED I HAD 0 ERECTION when he did finish he took me home I then deleted and blocked his number and never spoke to him and I've been trying to recover from that I know it was wrong but I'm just in fear daily with hocd I watch lesbian and straight stopped completely watching gayporn now I'm back on it and it is horrible I'm a Christian and I do believe in god and I always ask for his forgiveness but my addiction is a force of habit!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!