Is Cold Turkey possible?

I'm new here. My H was found out last February...A guiding voice literally pointed me to evidence.
He's been using heavily since before we moved back to my hometown. He states he began to become very insecure.  He also got bit by many ticks and had the  rash less than a year before we moved here.  He "crossed the skin line" 1x (he states) in July last year.  I feel that is a big fat lie.  I know there is  much more to hear from him.  He's way too nervous since discovery.    He has never offered me evidence,  I have found it all on my own, and it still keeps coming.  He appears ready to unburden himself.  I have created a stash of evidence, waiting for full disclosure day.  We are living apart. I have the house, he has a trailer with a 2 folding tables and a box of dishes.  Shame is heavy on him but so is guilt.
My question is this:
Is cold turkey really possible???  From what I read, this is worse than heroin to kick.  I would think, if you escalate to a level 2 user, (of 3 levels) cold turkey is not an option, let alone stopping at all.  He goes from blind rage to cool cocky and collected.  I have physical evidence that he is still using.  My terror is that he's no longer masturbating and is hooking up with actual women.  He's also been chewing gum. He's not a gum chewer... is there a drug out there that is delivered via chewing gum?  When he's chewing gum, he's bold, cocky, arrogant, etc. Something is just off.. my instincts are all over the place.

First of all I want to say I am sorry dday18. It is never easy to be the partner of an addict, any kind of addiction for that matter. The hurt is real and very powerful. Know that you are not alone and that you have support here! I am sorry that you need this page but I am glad you found us!

As far as your husbands addiction and questions about cold turkey, yes it is possible. My husband quit after about 20 yrs of looking at pron and being addicted for most of it. It isn't easy but it is possible. He has to want to quit. Just like any addiction they have to hit rock bottom and realize that they have an addiction and want to make a change before any lasting change can happen, period. Know that it is not about you, they are an addict and they will do whatever they can to get the next dopamine hit. I would really encourage you to get counseling and support in person as well as from this site. Read some of the other partners journals and some of the addicts journals as well. Get familiar with what addiction is and arm yourself with as much info as you can. No two addicts are exactly alike but there are similar symptoms and it may give you some insight into what they are experiencing. Also read some books too. Encourage him to read them as well. This was very helpful to me and my husband. It gave us a language to communicate in and lot of prompting questions to get conversations started when it felt hard to talk. On that note, communicate! Tell him your concerns and how you are feeling and try to hear where he is at. All marriages need communication but when you add addiction into the mix it is absoutly paramount. Lastly, take care of yourself. This addiction can really take it's toll on partners so figure out what you need to be ok and feel secure and make sure you get that!!! That is so important, I seriously can't stress that enough.

I hope I haven't overwhelmed you or anything. Feel free to reach out anytime! Again I am sorry that you are in this situation but I am glad that you have found us! You are not alone!

Coming from a man. I hit rock bottom and lost my marriage and unfortunately it took that for me to not have a desire.  Almost 1 years later and i havent been free of it.  Its possible have you shown him this forum?

Redfire03 said:

Coming from a man. I hit rock bottom and lost my marriage and unfortunately it took that for me to not have a desire.  Almost 1 years later and i havent been free of it.  Its possible have you shown him this forum?

Click to expand...

Why would you want to be free from the cold turkey state of abstinence from porn?

Sorry typo... i have been free. I feel very good.

Redfire, lol!!! I typo all the time and sometimes they are big typos, lol. Like once I wanted to tell a partner that she is NOT alone and I forgot the NOT. I told she she is alone, how horrible, lol. Complete mistake, I felt so bad and like an idiot. It is nice to know that I am not the only one that does that, LOL!!!! You are awesome, Redfire, I love the support you bring to the forum.

Redfire03 said:

Sorry typo... i have been free. I feel very good.

Click to expand...

No worries.

I went cold turkey in August 2017 when I discovered my shrunk penis. Makes me feel lucky that a relatively small issue was what made me quit,

I wish you all the luck.

@aquairus25 i try to do what i can. I hate that this has happened to good people and it destroys us. I am over 300 days in hard mode and i am starting to see positive changes. Looking forward to the road ahead because i know i never will look back. I also want to help people who lose hope and help them understand that this is worse than they think and they have to get it healed properly. Technology and social media and tv have really desensitized our generation.

Redfire03 said:

Coming from a man. I hit rock bottom and lost my marriage and unfortunately it took that for me to not have a desire.  Almost 1 years later and i havent been free of it.  Its possible have you shown him this forum?

Click to expand...

Thank you for your thoughts Redfire03, and your honesty. He won't take a single thing from me.. Not a sandwich, not advice, not a link to reboot nation. I read mountains of things.. he refuses to read anything I suggest. He is raging and is very closed off. But I did try. He's a closed vault. It's so so so so so lonely and so painful for me.

Do what I wish my ex had done.... sit down and tell him how you feel about the issue and how its effecting the relationship.. tell him you love him and you feel its pulling you apart and you don't want that and that if something does not change soon then you will have no choice but to move on. Make it clear in your town that you are over it and that you will only try if he try's. I wish I knew these things... so all I can say is push him with the opportunities to make it right. If he shows no intrest then make it clear you are done. My wife cheated on me because of this. I get upset because I know that I would never under any circumstances have done that to her. But then I tell myself can I blame her? I was not a good husband in bed like I needed to be. I still had a big heart and loved her very much. But in the physical aspect I failed and it's a terrible feeling as a man to know sexually you are a failure. I don't know if I will ever overcome the fact that I lost my marriage from my own doing. I hate porn plain and simple.

Hi dday.  I was wondering, what manner and how often do you communicate with him?  Is it by text, phone, he comes over sometimes, etc.  Also, is substance abuse involved on his end?  Take care, you are in a tough spot and i hope you can reach out to someone nearby.