Klugschei?er
Member
So I have a 10 page paper due for a grad class at 11:59:59 tonight., I know 10 pages isn't much, but it's in German and requires a lot of re-reading. I would have finished it sooner, but during a break at about 2:30 am I decided to have a wank. I have been on to my dangerous ways for a while now, so I vowed to make it quick, which I already knew was a lie. As if in a trance (God, help the human race...) I had a porn marathon and watched the hours fly in my quest for the perfect scene to blow it to. By about 7 am, I decided to choose one clip and stick with it.
An activity that was once fun has become a task that's lost its luster. It still feels good, but it's not nearly as enjoyable. I've been having mild ED (is that called wobbly wood?) unless super turned by being engulfed in porn and I've had a few DOs, which were weird because you can't know what it's like until you experience it. I recall saying, "ummm, we're not done here yet..." I'm aware of the need to increase the level of stimulation in order to be satisfied, which also sucks because I know if I don't, it will just last that much longer.
I started watching porn in 7th grade, when we still had dialup and the pages couldn't load fast enough, and it's been pretty steady since then. 1-3 times a day, more on weekends if I don't have plans, but sometimes it's 2 times, since it can take a long time. I have been late to meet-ups with friends and late to work a few times which isn't good, but my friends know I'm always late (because I'm slow, too) but it is guilt inducing when I know the truth.
It's embarrassing to type this, because as I reread this post, it clearly indicates that my problem is larger than previously thought and I'm not a fairly-good functioning jack addict as I'd like to believe. To begin, I'm setting a small goal of 12 days w/o PMO. By then my grad classes will be done and then I can set a new, longer goal. I set up the adult content controls on my laptop, so gaining access to the contraband will be harder. I also deleted tumblr (a former cherished friend) and other hook up apps from my phone in order to inhibit the possibility of getting a look at a naked selfie, etc. My cellphone may now have no function...I guess I could call someone. One challenge that I'm already dealing with is how to keep my hands from creeping into my pants when I'm legitimately working at the computer.
Well bros, that's my confession, cheers to the return of fun orgasms.
An activity that was once fun has become a task that's lost its luster. It still feels good, but it's not nearly as enjoyable. I've been having mild ED (is that called wobbly wood?) unless super turned by being engulfed in porn and I've had a few DOs, which were weird because you can't know what it's like until you experience it. I recall saying, "ummm, we're not done here yet..." I'm aware of the need to increase the level of stimulation in order to be satisfied, which also sucks because I know if I don't, it will just last that much longer.
I started watching porn in 7th grade, when we still had dialup and the pages couldn't load fast enough, and it's been pretty steady since then. 1-3 times a day, more on weekends if I don't have plans, but sometimes it's 2 times, since it can take a long time. I have been late to meet-ups with friends and late to work a few times which isn't good, but my friends know I'm always late (because I'm slow, too) but it is guilt inducing when I know the truth.
It's embarrassing to type this, because as I reread this post, it clearly indicates that my problem is larger than previously thought and I'm not a fairly-good functioning jack addict as I'd like to believe. To begin, I'm setting a small goal of 12 days w/o PMO. By then my grad classes will be done and then I can set a new, longer goal. I set up the adult content controls on my laptop, so gaining access to the contraband will be harder. I also deleted tumblr (a former cherished friend) and other hook up apps from my phone in order to inhibit the possibility of getting a look at a naked selfie, etc. My cellphone may now have no function...I guess I could call someone. One challenge that I'm already dealing with is how to keep my hands from creeping into my pants when I'm legitimately working at the computer.
Well bros, that's my confession, cheers to the return of fun orgasms.