Hi everyone,
I am looking for some male perspective. The short version is that a year ago I discovered my husband's porn use. I am a very sexual person and over the years sex became less and less until over a 10 year period he didn't have sex with me for 5 of those years. No ED but absolutely zero interest and any lie or behaviour he could use to push me away but would masturbate to his fav porn 15 times a week. Said he looked for girls that looked like me (WTH??). I asked him all the time about porn use and he denied denied denied.
He is going to SA, sees a CSAT and is fully commited to keeping our marriage BUT we have had a year of staggered disclosure which has been hell. His latest admission is that for years he found me "unattractive"- this really stung because I am actually quite attractive (former model) and have a great body esp for a woman in her 30's.
Anyhow, I am curious how on earth a woman is EVER supposed to feel good with a man who basically dumped her for porn and thought she was ugly for years. How can a woman grow older gracefully when her husband didn't even want her when she was fit and beautiful.
Help me understand all of this please. Please?
I am looking for some male perspective. The short version is that a year ago I discovered my husband's porn use. I am a very sexual person and over the years sex became less and less until over a 10 year period he didn't have sex with me for 5 of those years. No ED but absolutely zero interest and any lie or behaviour he could use to push me away but would masturbate to his fav porn 15 times a week. Said he looked for girls that looked like me (WTH??). I asked him all the time about porn use and he denied denied denied.
He is going to SA, sees a CSAT and is fully commited to keeping our marriage BUT we have had a year of staggered disclosure which has been hell. His latest admission is that for years he found me "unattractive"- this really stung because I am actually quite attractive (former model) and have a great body esp for a woman in her 30's.
Anyhow, I am curious how on earth a woman is EVER supposed to feel good with a man who basically dumped her for porn and thought she was ugly for years. How can a woman grow older gracefully when her husband didn't even want her when she was fit and beautiful.
Help me understand all of this please. Please?