Real Women > Porn [a journal]

New here! Not new to the problem, I'm guessing like most of us 40+ crowd this problem has been over a decade in the making.
I've had a few attempts and gone cold turkey a few times. Covid has NOT been good. I've been lucky, unlike many, that my work has been very busy. But that means, with lockdown, I'm basically working 12 hours a day, and some on weekends as well, not going out, and pretty much exhausted most of the time. And what happens when you are tired and weak and bored? Yeah, we all know the answer to that. Any attempts I've had at being clean have been WELL out the window in the last month or two.

Lockdown is slowly relaxing, I am starting to meet some women (I'm single), so time to put the porn away and focus on the real thing.

I need to get this thing under control. So here I am!

Good to meet you, brother. Look forward to hearing about your progress!

Welcome to the fold Sydneyguy! I'm actually on my first real attempt at a reboot after 40 years of porn. But back in the day it was magazines and VHS. The internet and high speed have made it the real problem that it is because it's 24/7 on your computer, phone, tablet etc. Just put cold turkey program on my computer and am loving it. Good luck on your quest!

Thanks for the warm welcome.

@lerxst2112 I was thinking about my history. I was online earlier than most, and high speed internet earlier than most. I do remember some porn usage back then. But I actually remembered today buying a porn magazine in my teens. Pretty sure it's the only time I've bought a porn magazine in my life, but maybe that suggests something. (It vanished one day - I assume my conservative but loving Christian parents found it and just decided to throw it out without saying anything).

The desire we all have combined with a rocky marriage (now ended - thus being single) made it hard for me. But. Circumstances aside, the problem is mine and mine alone.

Last night I was so tempted. Typical day. 12 - 14 hours intense meetings and work. An hour or two relaxing before bed. Then the temptation cuts in. Late at night and first thing in the morning are my weak times. This morning I had an early meeting so I was safe. But I made it through last night. 24 hours straight. It's a start. Every day clean is a good one.

Got a lovely woman I'm in early stages with, hoping that'll progress in the next few weeks. Let's see.

Checking in. I would probably normally use about now. I'm gonna end this day clean!

I imagine since you were ending your day this morning you're coming to us from the land down under. Sydney in your name helped a bit too. Hope you made it. If not don't despair. We can't look at our setbacks as failures, only lessons in what we can do next time to improve. If you're interested in an accountability partner send me a message. My mom trashed my porn stash too when i was a teen Godspeed brother.

Hello!
Yep that is my location. I stayed the course. I do know relapses are part of the journey but trying to stay strong and make the distance.
Right now, I'm pretty tempted. I'm happy to shout into the void!

Welcome Sydney guy - You've come to the right place my friend. My recommendation would be to read through as many of the 'current' journals in the 40+ section as possible. You'll work out pretty quickly where you have things in common with others, which in itself is a liberating experience and helps put the 'shame' of PMO back where it belongs. I've learned so much here since joining and just the act of checking in each day, helping others, and receiving support yourself has for me been a game changer. I hope you experience similar benefits. I'd encourage you to be as open as you can in your own journal - you'll be astonished how much of what you may share resonates with others and the tips you receive in return will be relevant and helpful in your recovery. Love Sydney too - lived there myself for 2 years with work. Take care and great to have you on board.