I Can do Hard Things

Hello all,

So glad to have made my way here.

I am 50, married, a father of two (6 & 11), and am a music and video producer.

I was first exposed to porn at 6 (my son's age), when I inadvertently purchased a girlie picture for a quarter from a restaurant bathroom "adult novelties" machine.

My entire life has been an obsession with and resistance toward illicit sexual media.  I've grown up as the adult industry has gone from the novelty machine, to magazines, VHS tapes, the internet and now the smartphone. And I've been a powerless, embarrassed consumer all these years.

I need this online community if I am going to be more than just a product of the porn generation.

Thanks for having me.

Hey FitDaddy

    Welcome to the party  here your going to find a lot of support and ideas on how to fight this. One of the most important things you can do is to journal down your thoughts  remember this is anonymous and quite non judgemental (for the most part).  The more you background your willing to give the more the guys will be able to  help you along  Your story is very familiar to a lot of us  we stumbled across it at a young age(most were easrly teens)  moved from mages to vhs to internet  etc  and our tastes became more and more extreme.  As you read others  your going to see their victories as well as their failures  But  one thing ties it all together and thats we learne something from those victories and failures  I have been an addict for 35 years (i'm 49 now)  and in Dec 2017 I finally found this site and my eyes have really been opened  It took me 2 years  of trying and failing to get where I am now(about 160 days clean)  I tell you  I have never felt better in my whole life  as now  It is worth it to make this change to your life  Read on  and begin your journey

  Cheers

    Post often it helps me it helps you

Thank you so much for your encouraging words. And congratulations on 160 days clean. These days, it is difficult for me to even think about 16 hours clean. Honestly, I?ve never talk with anybody that has been clean from this addiction  for that long, so you give me hope.

In childhood, all of this was overwhelming and confusing. During the zealously religious days of my young adulthood, I was racked with shame and secrecy. I have now understood this addiction to be a manifestation of a disordered brain. I am no longer ashamed, but often feel that I will never get on the other Side of this, and take it to my grave. Which is what leads me to this group. So thank you again for your comments.

Hi Fitdad,
Welcome to the community. I can definitely relate to your story. Look forward to hearing about your progress!

Hi fitdad-how has it been going lately?  Takes awhile to get going, but it looks like you have already learned about the neuroscience side of things.  Keep at it and check in when you get a moment, no matter what stage you are at.  Take care!   

Hey Fitdaddy,


Welcome to the forum. I think Joepanic's response summed it up pretty well. We all know what you're going through and this forum is amazing. Because its mostly anonymous I think that a lot of people feel that a shroud of shame is lifted which gives a feeling of freedom to open up more.

Great that you joined this forum and admitted to yourself that you are addicted.

I'm looking forward to follow your journey towards a porn free life