That's it, I will not be a slave anymore; I quit!! And this time it's for good.

editing topic

Good luck, keep going!

Hello I-am-not-a-slave-anymore,

I don't know anything about L-Tyrosine, so I can't write anything about it.
But I think you may be seeing some withdrawal symptoms already. They can get rough, as you know. It is important to keep rebooting even when you feel a lot of messed up emotions. Like William wrote in "Hello Gentlemen. Now we begin." : learn to love withdrawals.
Keep going and you will beat P-addiction!

Thanks for sharing, i look forward to your success.

find something that you like to do physically..you are doing great..remember god help those who help themselves. it is better if you do actively in physically..clean your room or help others in their work...things will be fine...

Hey dude, keep up the good work!

I guess this is what you were talking about in Introspect's blog~ or at least it is something similar to that: Exposure Response Prevention Therapy (extinction) http://yourbrainonporn.com/exposure-response-prevention-therapy-extinction

Hey dude,

You are doing great and also it's important to let this shit in your head out. Writing the journal has been my greatest support and I realised that when I stopped a while ago and I found myself doing porn even worse and not caring at the time. So yea, first step is letting it out.

I have got issues like smoking and alcohol and they are my relieve but also my real triggers. We all have our triggers and ways of going around porn but it doesn't solve anything in the end because the important part is dealing with what our problems, the real ones, are. Porn is just our way to deal badly with life by getting zoned out. In the end, it's an escape to our lack of confidence and fear that we can deal with our life.
Slowly, progressing in our life by dealing with it, will really make us recover from all our wrong habits and addictions.

Frank-hates-porn said:

Still haven't had any sex, watched porn or ejaculated. Although I have been very weak and gave in to my hungry eyes - I have looked at women for much longer than a quick glance. The urges are still strong as ever  I have also been very stupid and browsed through escort ads, I don't know why, I knew I should'nt and I knew I am not doing that anymore but still I went on the web and started checking them out. I even went as far as actually dialing a telephone number and arranging a meet but then straight away cancelling the meet - that was so stupid, I nearly failed. I remembered all the bad points and disadvantages of doing that, and I thought about my profile on this website and the days I have been clean - that is what gave me the willpower to stop the trigger which would of led to destructive behaviour.

I must be extra careful from now on and avoid all triggers. I can't let my eyes wander again. It is the eyes that lead you astray.

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Good job buddy! No worries, edging can happen and it is tough to catch ourselves but you did it well. Just try now to catch yourself even earlier, for instance when you see yourself typing on the escorts ad, before it appears, you just put down everything and breath and move on to something else. Anything else. It's a new reflex to build in to you now.

Great job!

Hello Frank-hates-porn,

I have been through similar issues. and the problem is: Escort girls were a way better drug than porn. And it is way better illusion. In our heart we actually want intimacy and a relationship. But instead we fuck our brains out and even expose ourselves to health risks. Furthermore we spend so much money on it. It is sick. It is money that can be spent a lot better.
I think you are on the right track. Just write about it as much as you can. I am on day 91 now with my recovery, and I believe physical exercise and writing have been key in my recovery.  Go running every day for 60 to 90 minutes. After that, you will be tired and your brain will be at peace. This has always been my case. After running I just felt good! And no brainfog at all whatsover. Run till exhaustion.
Personally I would not take any medicine because medicine might change your brain substance. If you want dopamine for free, do an hour of meditation. As an addict, I always played victim. This is why it is important to set yourselves minimum goals and work hard to achieve them.
I do not remember who said it on the forum, but there was one guy who said: after recovery I felt like the 7-years-old again. Somebody with dream and an innocent mind. I sometimes feel this as well again. It just feels better. I think about my dreams a lot more than before.
My advise for you: Check out on youtube Terry Cruise. He said some very good things.

OK, thanks. I will look into those suggestions.

Frank-hates-porn said:

Day 21
I have completed 21 days without PMO or sex. Still haven't ejaculated, so no wet dreams either. So it's been 3 weeks now, but my sexual frustration and urges are still strong as ever. Thoughts, memories and flashbacks of porn or previous sexual experiences keep haunting me unrelentingly; AAaaaarrghh! This is a tough reboot, but I won't give in.

Feeling lethargic today and I am procrastinating again. The reasons for this could be my foolish relapse onto drug use, not long ago - which I will not do again. So to keep me focused on rebooting and avoid sexual urges, I am watching Porn Addiction documentaries and listening to podcasts, and also a bit of reading about it.

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Great job! Yes, best is to do simple things to keep you focus and are not too demanding on willpower maybe in this situation. podcast and listening to people is the best!
It's a momentary low energy and probably due to the past days. The energy will come back, tomorrow is another day and you can focus on that
Have fun!

21 days is really well done. Stay strong! And continue to keep awareness high about the problem, and also why you want to change.

Hi Frank!

I am glad you managed well though the lack of sleep. I guess you could be right with cutting down the supplements for now. I remembering your list was quite impressive so it might be best to let your body cleaned up from all toxins. Which by the way thanks for the green tea tips, it's pretty good and though I miss coffee sometimes, I realise I am pretty good without it cause it made me restless and tired at times.
Brain fog could come from your taking drugs for a while during the recent weeks? Well, I am sure this moment will pass. Also, sport is pretty good to speed up the body system and get rid of toxins as well so yea, some more exercise could help recover sleep and energy.

Whatever happen, stay on your recovery for porn and other things you don't need will be best! And take care!

Cheers

Day 23

Today I've been feeling terrible. When will these torturous urges finally subside 

You are OK F. Try not to beat yourself up about it. Stay away from self-loathing, and by the way you are not evil, just human.
Please continue on your reboot. 25 days is a good streak, and I for one don't believe your progress is lost.

The upsetting feelings you have is a good indication that a lifestyle of porn and drugs is not something that you truly want. So use that to motivate you to continue working towards the goals that really mean something to you.

Never using porn again would be easy if it wasn't for the cravings, right?  So your job is to figure out how you will handle the cravings the next time. In a broad sense it's about finding ways to live with the mood swings or the depression, and the thoughts about porn that come out of nowhere.

Some can do it all on their own, but many seek out help from others or even professional aid. You have to find your own way, but whatever you do don't give up. Keep trying out different solutions. I believe you will find the key things if you just keep working on this. Let your experiences guide the way.

Wishing you the best for your continued recovery.

Yes, thank you Introspect. You're right.

Actually make sure you are not ashamed. Once I read a good sentence. Whatever you do, you should like. So if you watch porn, then enjoy it. Maybe this sentence is confusing, but it is important to develop an attitude that you should support the actions you take, otherwise we suffer from cognitive dissonance because shame is the worst punishment ever. Shame is really bad. So even if you relapse, appreciate yourself for that.

Frank-hates-porn said:

Day 11 - Relapse
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, after 11 days I have relapsed again. It was a one time PMO, I will not allow myself to do it again and I most certainly will not let myself binge out on porn like I used to before. Last year and the year before, everytime I tried rebooting I would fail and PMO, but not only once, I would binge out really heavily on the stuff, about 6 times a day and maybe again the day after until I would again think "what the hell am I doing with my life, I need to quit, again.." haha.

I had sex dreams during the night, however, there was no ejaculation. This caused a huge amount of sexual frustration today. Also, I had no energy or motivation to do anything. This morning I started on my daily excercise routine: running, weight lifting, sit-ups and push-ups, but I did not have the strength. My performance and stamina just wasn't there, I only did a third of what I can usually do. I don't know what happened to me today, I Felt ill and felt brain fog all day. I have been drug, alcohol and tobbaco free for a few days now, I suspect I have been feeling the last few bits of withdrawal symptoms from those.

Oh well, I better not beat myself up about it again. I will just start again from the beginning and give it another go.  Time to reset that counter.

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Great Frank! not the relapse but the not binging and the routines Be careful not to exhaust yourself too fast because you might feel the need to pmo if you feel tired, and can't keep up with your routine. But hey! building stamina is cool !
Also, I am very happy that you are still clean of cigarettes, drugs and alcool. That definitely helps! I am now allowing myself one beer to join friends but then leave to recover from daily trainings. It's cool.

Also, I saw that you have a 100 days goal. Man that's long! and cool! I found it more motivating to reach smaller goals at first to build the plan and routines that help me with reaching my goals. Then progressively making new goals to finally reach a long goal too. You can try if you find yourself relapsing after a few days again or not feeling motivated enough looking at the 100 days to reach.

Cheers!

Hi Frank!

Ok cool to see you motivated

Have fun and work well!

Cheers!

Hey mate!

Good you are feeling well Good job!

By the way, I am not sure what anti-depressant you are taking but before stopping them, you might want to check with your GP if you can stop abruptly because some anti-depressant take a slow decrease to stop properly without side effects like depression (weird but really true). Just an advice in case it happen to you!

Take care!