Author Topic: Its a process...I guess.  (Read 30003 times)

aquarius25

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Re: Its a process...I guess.
« Reply #325 on: April 02, 2018, 08:02:22 PM »
Ha, just as soon as it starts to feel like spring it snows!!!! I love the snow so I was excited but everyone else was complaining. Our Easter holiday was nice, fairly quiet. My parents are visiting so they went to church with us and then we went home, I make a nice dinner and we just relaxed. Also over the weekend our cat had kittens. The kids got to watch the entire thing. Perfect biology lesson, lol. We have had the "where do babies come from" talk already but it was really cool to hear their questions and see their faces and they gained better understanding of this whole thing. Overall life is good. Every now and then I remember the hurt or something will trigger be to wonder but I am noticing how I move out of that so much more quickly than I used to. That is really encouraging to see progress be made. I am celebrating in those moments!

aquarius25

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Re: Its a process...I guess.
« Reply #326 on: April 06, 2018, 01:57:26 PM »
Well I had some encouraging new this morning! My women's group now has more than just me in it, lol. I know that is a weird thing to be excited about but I am non the less. I also met with a pastor at another church and he is working on some new ministries within his church and he wanted to talk about working with me. My husband had shared with him some of our story (with my permission) and said he wanted to speak. I feel like things are starting to pick up. My heart really does want to help others, to be an encouragement, and to see people come out of hurt and move into healing and I am doing the same for myself. Praying that God move through me!

On the family front, I am finally in a place where I am excited about the kids being gone for a bit and looking forward to spending some quality time with my husband. Plus my kids will be able to go the the family reunion with my parents and will be able to connect with family members that have never even met before. That is really exciting. Still hoping that maybe there is a way I can try to swing flying out to attend too but if not I am still glad that they will have that opportunity. Overall life is good and I am so very thankful.

rebootrapp

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Re: Its a process...I guess.
« Reply #327 on: April 06, 2018, 09:11:41 PM »
Woot woot! Glad to hear you’re doing so well!!
PMO free since Mar 12, 2016

aquarius25

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Re: Its a process...I guess.
« Reply #328 on: April 10, 2018, 11:04:56 AM »
rebootrapp, Thanks! It's great to hear you and your family are doing so well too.

Well life keeps humming along. Parents are still visiting but will head up to my sisters house in a few days before heading west with our kiddos. I am excited for the kids to spend the summer with their grandparents and in Oregon! It really is beautiful and summers are the best! The ocean, the mountains, all of it!

We were interviewed, my husband and I, for a lady doing a show about porn and it's effects. I thought I would be super nervous but I actually wasn't at all. I am excited to be able to bring awareness and help others. I think, to some degree I carry shame too. I was embarrassed about my husbands addiction. He isn't embarrassed and he doesn't carry any shame, so why do I? SO odd. I am learning and understanding my need for people to approve of me. That is ridiculous. I have been doing a lot of work on myself. I am learning be more accepting of my whole self. To appreciate my strengths and failures. I am so good at seeing and loving others but not myself. The question begs to be asked. If I can't love myself, can I really authentically love others? Also, I want to show my daughter and son what good, healthy, self love, compassion for yourself, and confidence looks like. I can't show them what I do not posses. So I am working, and am improving in these areas. Doing that interview and now feeling embarrassed and genuinely excited about helping others just showed me how far I have come! Feels good to see and appreciate progress. I couldn't have come this far on my own. I am go grateful for my husband, my support here from anyone reading this, and from God. Truly a transformation by the Holy Spirit. So thanks. Lots of thanks.

JedClampett

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Re: Its a process...I guess.
« Reply #329 on: April 14, 2018, 11:01:03 AM »
Here is an old post that could help someone's thinking...because that is what PMO is, faulty thinking:

"Thank you for explaining all that.  You are right in saying PMO is not an option.
We do not have to be taught how to have sex!  I think that it is a natural thing to do.

I am on Day 8 now and what I appreciate most about it is my productivity rate has gone
way up.  The trick is to appreciate the productivity rate and keep increasing it.

Before about 2010 I put so much into my days it amazes me now to think about it.
I did do some IP before that but it took some time before that nasty thing took a lot
of time out of my life.

It's been very easy to give up PMO to this point.  Hopefully I will continue to realize what
I gain by avoiding it.

1.  Maximum sexual health
2.  Maximum physical health
3.  High productivity rate
4.  Clearer thinking
5.  Less guilt
6.  More hours to learn important things
7.  The increased ability to think and do things for others
8.  The ability to do the little things that make people happy
9.  Better computer health and knowledge that it was not P that caused the problem!
10.  Better moods
11. The opportunity to be a model for avoiding PMO.  This is what Reboot Nation is all about!!!"

aquarius25

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Re: Its a process...I guess.
« Reply #330 on: April 16, 2018, 09:02:45 AM »
Bartholomew, which issue are you referring to? Just trying to understand better.
THanks

aquarius25

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Re: Its a process...I guess.
« Reply #331 on: April 17, 2018, 01:53:20 PM »
Well yesterday was interesting. Felt the urge to become overwhelmed a lot but managed to compose myself by taking several breaks to stop breath and focus my thoughts and attitude and it helps so much! Started with just a general annoyance that a certain individual on here has been sending me personal messages describing his relapse and then asking me if that is considered a relapse. It really just irritated me more than anything. Some people can be so rude. Then I went on a run and was repeatedly cat called while my daughter and son were with me. That was upsetting. The thought kept running in my head, "Seriously!?! Why can't people just keep that crap to themselves? Why do they have to should sexual advances at women in public, with my kids around?!?" So rude.

Then later had a bit of what could have been a blow up with my husband. I can see how I have learned a lot. I have noticed that when he is really overwhelmed his first reaction is to avoid. That is really not helpful. He had been handling the filing and paperwork for our business for the past few month and apparently got overwhelmed. He didn't communicate it he just put it off because he was overwhelmed and didn't want me to be disappointing in him. It was a huge trigger to come in to help and realize that everything was a mess and he hadn't told me and asked for help. I immediately thought, what else isn't he telling me?!? My heart started racing and everything. I stopped, took some deep breaths and decided before I come up with all of these scenarios I will talk to him. After a long conversation realizing how hard he has been working I am realizing just how much he desires for me to see him as amazing. He didn't want to disappoint me but he did need help. The frustration is that I already see him that way, he is amazing. I wouldn't be here if he wasn't, LOL! We talked it through, and he understood how triggering and upsetting this was. We got everything straighten out. It wasn't as big a mess and I first thought. I reorganized everything and we are good to go. I can see how a year ago I would have reacted very different. No person is perfect. I am glad that rather than going straight to red hot mad I was able to calm myself. Have grace and compassion for my husband. He really is amazing and works so hard and genuinely does his best. He will mess up from time to time, just like I do, but each time we work through it we get stronger. It gets a little easier and less scary to communicate and maybe next time he is overwhelmed he can get over the thought of disappointing me and just ask for help. We are supposed to be partners right? I know we will get there eventually.