The Journal of J. S. Steampunk

Found this site while searching for ways to stop using porn/artificial sexual stimulation.

Did I use porn today?

Sure did. For 5 hours.

What were my triggers?

It seems like life in general, but will work to learn my triggers.

How did I soothe my anxiety or stress?

Today, I did this by watching porn and masterbating.

What am I grateful for today?

• my cat
• my home

Day counter!

0

This begins day 1 without using artificial sexual stimulation.

Last night I found that watching porn and masterbating is a bedtime habit. This means that I need to be prepared to change my bedtime routine. Additionally, I can't keep a phone or tablet near my bed as I'll certainly rollover and use artificial stimulation.

I read about the pros and cons of rebooting without masterbation. From what I've learned, this process will have the greatest benefit if I cut-out masterbation. Since I want the greatest payoff, I'll stop masterbating.

As I sit here writing, I'm looking into the future and feeling a but overwhelmed. Thinking about a lifetime without porn is scary. As if I needed more evidence that porn is unhealthy for me then this is it. No one should feel uncomfortable looking at a lifetime without porn. Rather than looking ahead, I'll focus on today.

This morning was stressful. I felt I'll. Despite this fact, I craved porn. Rather than watch porn, I chose to masterbate using mental images.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. Yesterday, I stated that I would stop masterbating as part of my recovery. I didn't quite plan on the difficulty.

Not much to add to today's journal, except for...

One of the folks that I follow in Twitter retweeted a funny tweet from youporn. I clicked on the tweet and then looked through YouPorn's Twitter feed. Mostly humorous tweets, but there were a few tweets that showed sexual situations.

Just seeing these pics sent a quick jolt to my brain. I logged off Twitter and am now writing in this journal. In the future, I'll use better sense the next time I'm on Twitter.

Right now, I'm going to eat, feed the cat, read, and then go to bed without porn.