Hello, my name is Franz, I'm 31 and I'm new here. I've got questions, and I don't know anyone who'd be able to answer, or anyone I can ask.
I've loved women since I was in kindergarden, and I was attracted to their body since elementary school. I begun watching porn regularly when I was about 18, and developed addiction later on, at about 24, when I had a faster internet connection and left my girlfriend. This is what I experienced then: For the 4 previous years I had had regular and beautiful sex with my girlfriend, no stress, no ED or premature ejaculation, I felt secure and she could reach orgasm with me most of the time. Then we separated, and I couldn't find a girlfriend for years: I was alone and felt miserable, and fapped a lot. I was able to approach a girl only at 27, but when we had sex the first time I realized I experienced premature ejaculation. I felt ashamed, because I came almost immediately, and she pointed it out; I realized that time what premature ejaculation was, I had never experienced it before, it was inability to control pleasure, to give to pleasure to her, in a way my body was only able to take pleasure for itself, as quickly as possible. I had some tiny improvements since, I had sex with other girls and I was able to control myself a little better, often depending on my general self-confidence in that period, but I never really got back to the beautiful (now I realize it fully) experience I had with my first girlfriend: sex with no worry of premature ejaculation. I have a girlfriend now, we have sex and sometimes especially at the beginning (when I came out of a serious personal crisis) it was really beautiful for both; but honestly most of the times now it begins beautiful but it ends badly, because I can't control myself. All these years I stopped fapping sometimes, but never more than a 15 days or a month period. Do you think I could get back to no premature ejaculation if I quit for real?
I have another question: often I can go for days without watching porn. I feel the need but I can turn the other way if I don't have other stimuli; the problem is when I go to places with lots of beautiful girls, like the university (I'm taking a second degree for work), then it's like thorns in my guts, tickle all over me, and often when I get back home I relapse to porn because I was aroused outside. But how can I do, should I shut out the world, should I not go out?
Please, if you've had similar experiences, especially the PE tragedy, tell me something or give me advice, thank-you.
I've loved women since I was in kindergarden, and I was attracted to their body since elementary school. I begun watching porn regularly when I was about 18, and developed addiction later on, at about 24, when I had a faster internet connection and left my girlfriend. This is what I experienced then: For the 4 previous years I had had regular and beautiful sex with my girlfriend, no stress, no ED or premature ejaculation, I felt secure and she could reach orgasm with me most of the time. Then we separated, and I couldn't find a girlfriend for years: I was alone and felt miserable, and fapped a lot. I was able to approach a girl only at 27, but when we had sex the first time I realized I experienced premature ejaculation. I felt ashamed, because I came almost immediately, and she pointed it out; I realized that time what premature ejaculation was, I had never experienced it before, it was inability to control pleasure, to give to pleasure to her, in a way my body was only able to take pleasure for itself, as quickly as possible. I had some tiny improvements since, I had sex with other girls and I was able to control myself a little better, often depending on my general self-confidence in that period, but I never really got back to the beautiful (now I realize it fully) experience I had with my first girlfriend: sex with no worry of premature ejaculation. I have a girlfriend now, we have sex and sometimes especially at the beginning (when I came out of a serious personal crisis) it was really beautiful for both; but honestly most of the times now it begins beautiful but it ends badly, because I can't control myself. All these years I stopped fapping sometimes, but never more than a 15 days or a month period. Do you think I could get back to no premature ejaculation if I quit for real?
I have another question: often I can go for days without watching porn. I feel the need but I can turn the other way if I don't have other stimuli; the problem is when I go to places with lots of beautiful girls, like the university (I'm taking a second degree for work), then it's like thorns in my guts, tickle all over me, and often when I get back home I relapse to porn because I was aroused outside. But how can I do, should I shut out the world, should I not go out?
Please, if you've had similar experiences, especially the PE tragedy, tell me something or give me advice, thank-you.