chuckman23
Member
I'm Chuck. I have looked at some form of porn since I was very young. From finding my dad's magazines up to getting it on the internet. I am 50 and though I have acknowleged before that I have an issue with porn I never knew it was such a big issue until I started reading Your Brain on Porn recently. The book is at the same time informative and scary, as it seems to tell my story.
My wife and I almost seperated recently and we are working hard to get back to a good place. She says she hasn't loved me for a couple of years and our sex life became terrible. I have to agree that while I felt like I was being a good partner and blamed other things for my inability to perform properly I am realizing that it was all about the porn. It caused me to seek out validation in my career, to push to be the "rock star" to compensate for my feelings of being so inadequate. It caused me to become arrogant, controlling, and at times uncaring about my wife. I couldn't perform because I needed a bigger high other than just vanilla sex, I felt I might be bi or maybe gay because of what turned me on. I pushed my wife to try different kinks because I thought that is what our sex life needed. She like a good wife went a long with it but truth be told now she isn't into those kinks and in reality neither am I. I thought that her being a "hot wife" would be awesome, I thought that her cuckolding me would be great based upon my porn fantasies. The reality is that I would go insane if this happened in real life.
I am just starting my journey with giving up porn. It's been 7 days so far.
My wife and I almost seperated recently and we are working hard to get back to a good place. She says she hasn't loved me for a couple of years and our sex life became terrible. I have to agree that while I felt like I was being a good partner and blamed other things for my inability to perform properly I am realizing that it was all about the porn. It caused me to seek out validation in my career, to push to be the "rock star" to compensate for my feelings of being so inadequate. It caused me to become arrogant, controlling, and at times uncaring about my wife. I couldn't perform because I needed a bigger high other than just vanilla sex, I felt I might be bi or maybe gay because of what turned me on. I pushed my wife to try different kinks because I thought that is what our sex life needed. She like a good wife went a long with it but truth be told now she isn't into those kinks and in reality neither am I. I thought that her being a "hot wife" would be awesome, I thought that her cuckolding me would be great based upon my porn fantasies. The reality is that I would go insane if this happened in real life.
I am just starting my journey with giving up porn. It's been 7 days so far.