the_terrible_one
Member
Hey there,
So I am a newbie to the forum. I'm a 37yr old bloke from Surrey in the UK, just outside of London to our international brothers & sisters. I probably started masturbating at 13/14, and haven't really stopped apart from when in fleeting relationships, my last one getting on for 12yrs ago. From then on I can't really recount a spell of non-masturbation for any significant amount of time. I have had a hefty bout of depression and social anxiety which has crippled me for a long time, but in the last few years I've made significant progress, small steps but progress nonetheless.
Recently I have become more aware that porn and masturbation is a significant problem in my life and I want to take action to address this, as I think PMO abstinence could remedy the dregs of foggy and drained exhaustion I seem to permanently face. The last 3-4yrs or so I have been using webcam models as my primary interaction with the opposite sex, which, although has lead to some interesting sexual encounters, but didn't leave me with much fulfilment. Being self employed for the last five years, I have literally spent all my money on webcams, often hundreds of pounds in a week to the point that enough is enough. It's like I'm using this as a subconscious method for getting dates with totally the wrong sort of girl!
With regard to other addictions, that is something I'm particularly proud of. I was under the impression that marijuana was the main reason for the fogginess and haze in my mind so I quit that over a year ago after smoking weed everyday for 20yrs. The first few weeks were quite difficult with getting to sleep etc but I survived and haven't smoked since. I do think that it wasn't entirely responsible and that masturbation/porn was probably more damaging. I'm starting to miss weed but not so much that I'd like to smoke again but it's nice to have that sort of relationship with it. I gave up drinking the day after my 30th birthday so I'm on 7.5yrs of not drinking which given my anti-social nature doesn't bother me too much. I do smoke cigarettes which is my next objective to quit once I feel like I have a handle on PMO.
I have been an interested spectator of nofap/no PMO for a few months now, and last year I made tremendous progress using mindfulness and meditation, however, giving up masturbation wasn't particularly on the radar. Now with some research and reading some of the testimonials on here, and reading some of your guys stories has really inspired me to get out of this slump. Combined with my pitiful bank balance! Not that it is the end of all my problems, but that combined with mindfulness, exercise, a better diet and meditation, that it could help me become the man I want to be. Its about time I grew up and tackled this issue instead of thinking that I can get away with it. Almost annoyed that it's taken me so long to come to this conclusion!
So welcome to my journal. Thank you fellow members of this forum for being so inspirational and giving me the encouragement I needed to make a change.
DAY #2:
Day one was uneventful. I think it'll take a bit of time to get the energy back from the last weeks wankfest binge tbh. Day two is no different but when I think about it, I can sometimes do a 3-4 stretch without too much difficulty and then it worms its way back in, often without conscious thought. More often boredom than anything else so I'm going to try and keep busy, do some long walks etc to tire myself out.
The main driver is my bank balance really so whilst I can keep that steady and not spending it on cam girls, I at least have a reference to (financial) success. I've been applying for a few permanent jobs and I'm going to be taking extra care to notice any physical changes that some have reported, like clearer skin, less rings around the eyes etc.
Will check in tomorrow as I think this evening won't be that daunting, the next week however, will be a challenge.
So I am a newbie to the forum. I'm a 37yr old bloke from Surrey in the UK, just outside of London to our international brothers & sisters. I probably started masturbating at 13/14, and haven't really stopped apart from when in fleeting relationships, my last one getting on for 12yrs ago. From then on I can't really recount a spell of non-masturbation for any significant amount of time. I have had a hefty bout of depression and social anxiety which has crippled me for a long time, but in the last few years I've made significant progress, small steps but progress nonetheless.
Recently I have become more aware that porn and masturbation is a significant problem in my life and I want to take action to address this, as I think PMO abstinence could remedy the dregs of foggy and drained exhaustion I seem to permanently face. The last 3-4yrs or so I have been using webcam models as my primary interaction with the opposite sex, which, although has lead to some interesting sexual encounters, but didn't leave me with much fulfilment. Being self employed for the last five years, I have literally spent all my money on webcams, often hundreds of pounds in a week to the point that enough is enough. It's like I'm using this as a subconscious method for getting dates with totally the wrong sort of girl!
With regard to other addictions, that is something I'm particularly proud of. I was under the impression that marijuana was the main reason for the fogginess and haze in my mind so I quit that over a year ago after smoking weed everyday for 20yrs. The first few weeks were quite difficult with getting to sleep etc but I survived and haven't smoked since. I do think that it wasn't entirely responsible and that masturbation/porn was probably more damaging. I'm starting to miss weed but not so much that I'd like to smoke again but it's nice to have that sort of relationship with it. I gave up drinking the day after my 30th birthday so I'm on 7.5yrs of not drinking which given my anti-social nature doesn't bother me too much. I do smoke cigarettes which is my next objective to quit once I feel like I have a handle on PMO.
I have been an interested spectator of nofap/no PMO for a few months now, and last year I made tremendous progress using mindfulness and meditation, however, giving up masturbation wasn't particularly on the radar. Now with some research and reading some of the testimonials on here, and reading some of your guys stories has really inspired me to get out of this slump. Combined with my pitiful bank balance! Not that it is the end of all my problems, but that combined with mindfulness, exercise, a better diet and meditation, that it could help me become the man I want to be. Its about time I grew up and tackled this issue instead of thinking that I can get away with it. Almost annoyed that it's taken me so long to come to this conclusion!
So welcome to my journal. Thank you fellow members of this forum for being so inspirational and giving me the encouragement I needed to make a change.
DAY #2:
Day one was uneventful. I think it'll take a bit of time to get the energy back from the last weeks wankfest binge tbh. Day two is no different but when I think about it, I can sometimes do a 3-4 stretch without too much difficulty and then it worms its way back in, often without conscious thought. More often boredom than anything else so I'm going to try and keep busy, do some long walks etc to tire myself out.
The main driver is my bank balance really so whilst I can keep that steady and not spending it on cam girls, I at least have a reference to (financial) success. I've been applying for a few permanent jobs and I'm going to be taking extra care to notice any physical changes that some have reported, like clearer skin, less rings around the eyes etc.
Will check in tomorrow as I think this evening won't be that daunting, the next week however, will be a challenge.