Unapplicable
Member
Howdy folks,
I have long expected that something was wrong with me, I have been searching for 'reboot nation' and 'your brain on porn' for a very long time.
Part of me always knew that something about how often I masturbate to porn was not right (which was normally once a day after my teenage years). However so many sources out there say 'it's perfectly healthy' and my pleasure addled mind was only too happy to listen and override my fears.
This also helped me create a distinct block, a separation, of two different parts of my psyche. The animal sex monkey brain and the sensible respects woman brain. They were in fact so separated that, when I finally got a long term gf at age 24 (which I also believe is a side-effect of 'separation', the animal part of the ladies could see I wasn't attracted to them), I was completely unable to get an erection, even though I would've lost my hated virginity! A big part of that was performance anxiety though and once I got past that I was able to do the deed successfully, huzzah!
Now, here comes the brain fuck that porn brought me. I am completely unable to cum during normal sex. At first, I saw it as a blessing, I would always be able to make sure my lady was serviced first! Fantastic! However, there is a middle ground here, sometimes the ladies want you to cum, especially if you've got a good lady that cares about you. It proves that they are fulfilling you sexually and every time it doesn't happens their confidence takes a hit, and as no confidence isn't sexy it begins a downward spiral... it's a recipe for disaster.
So! I finally managed to find these websites, which confirmed some long term suspicions of mines. I started my reboot straight away. Here is my progress to date.
1st Attempt
9 days
2nd Attempt
20 days
Week long bender Yep, by this point i was absolutely dying to see porn, I actually actively missed seeing novel different naked ladies. Pretty tough times.
3rd Attempt (present attempt)
31 days and counting
Hard mode at the moment but I will be switching to normal mode when the time is right. On that note does anyone have any idea of when the time will be right? I'm still not at the morning wood stage yet. Honestly I'm not sure I'm past the flatline, I have started objectifying every woman that crosses my path, but nothing feels 'normal' yet, although I guess I've never known what normal is.
I have cravings every night when I'm alone, and being honest I think a big part of what makes long term relationships with ladies successful is finding some variety in porn. So I'm really sexually frustrated at the moment, I'm quite kinky and my lady is very vanilla so this has always been an outlet for me.
I'm keeping it together, I've actually watched porn once during the 30 days but switched it off after a minute or so because I know where the road leads. I think I can make it to ninety, although switching to normal mode might be more challenging. (In my last relapse, the chaser effect butchered me).
Finally, I want to say, this has been one of the most challenging things to do in my life. Props to everyone out there doing their best, the struggle is fucking real.
EDIT: For your reference: I started masturbating around about 12 YO, and have had internet access to porn since about 14 YO. At that time it wasn't high quality, quick turnaround, streaming sites yet so I think the effect on me might not be as bad as on someone 5 years younger. But I did still have fairly decent access to porn throughout my formative years. Anyone who thinks porn does not affect the young mind is a moron.
I have long expected that something was wrong with me, I have been searching for 'reboot nation' and 'your brain on porn' for a very long time.
Part of me always knew that something about how often I masturbate to porn was not right (which was normally once a day after my teenage years). However so many sources out there say 'it's perfectly healthy' and my pleasure addled mind was only too happy to listen and override my fears.
This also helped me create a distinct block, a separation, of two different parts of my psyche. The animal sex monkey brain and the sensible respects woman brain. They were in fact so separated that, when I finally got a long term gf at age 24 (which I also believe is a side-effect of 'separation', the animal part of the ladies could see I wasn't attracted to them), I was completely unable to get an erection, even though I would've lost my hated virginity! A big part of that was performance anxiety though and once I got past that I was able to do the deed successfully, huzzah!
Now, here comes the brain fuck that porn brought me. I am completely unable to cum during normal sex. At first, I saw it as a blessing, I would always be able to make sure my lady was serviced first! Fantastic! However, there is a middle ground here, sometimes the ladies want you to cum, especially if you've got a good lady that cares about you. It proves that they are fulfilling you sexually and every time it doesn't happens their confidence takes a hit, and as no confidence isn't sexy it begins a downward spiral... it's a recipe for disaster.
So! I finally managed to find these websites, which confirmed some long term suspicions of mines. I started my reboot straight away. Here is my progress to date.
1st Attempt
9 days
2nd Attempt
20 days
Week long bender Yep, by this point i was absolutely dying to see porn, I actually actively missed seeing novel different naked ladies. Pretty tough times.
3rd Attempt (present attempt)
31 days and counting
Hard mode at the moment but I will be switching to normal mode when the time is right. On that note does anyone have any idea of when the time will be right? I'm still not at the morning wood stage yet. Honestly I'm not sure I'm past the flatline, I have started objectifying every woman that crosses my path, but nothing feels 'normal' yet, although I guess I've never known what normal is.
I have cravings every night when I'm alone, and being honest I think a big part of what makes long term relationships with ladies successful is finding some variety in porn. So I'm really sexually frustrated at the moment, I'm quite kinky and my lady is very vanilla so this has always been an outlet for me.
I'm keeping it together, I've actually watched porn once during the 30 days but switched it off after a minute or so because I know where the road leads. I think I can make it to ninety, although switching to normal mode might be more challenging. (In my last relapse, the chaser effect butchered me).
Finally, I want to say, this has been one of the most challenging things to do in my life. Props to everyone out there doing their best, the struggle is fucking real.
EDIT: For your reference: I started masturbating around about 12 YO, and have had internet access to porn since about 14 YO. At that time it wasn't high quality, quick turnaround, streaming sites yet so I think the effect on me might not be as bad as on someone 5 years younger. But I did still have fairly decent access to porn throughout my formative years. Anyone who thinks porn does not affect the young mind is a moron.