REBOOT FOR LIFE

So, I have finally had enough of this prison type life in my head. My story actually starts at a young age.  I stumbled upon my dad's collection around 13 years old.  I have had some sort of P imagery in my life since that time. After many years and 1 failed marriage I began to see how negatively it was affecting my life but I really had no willpower to stop.  There were several times where I could have had some fun with some very good looking women, but I lacked the confidence and the one that I did have the opportunity with, I was unable to perform.  I found myself waiting for others to leave so I could enter my irrational non reality and relieve the pain. 

Eventually I met this awesome amazing woman who accepted me for me and slowly stole my heart.  I can't even begin to explain the hurt and disgust in myself for not being able to be with her the way I should. We have been together for 8 year now and got married in 2014.  Recently my mom passed away and I lost my pup of 13 years around the same time.  We have had our troubles recently especially but we are working through them and getting stronger every day.  At the point of almost losing her I decided I was completely done with this prison.

Currently about to start day 8 and I have more energy than I have had in a long time.  Right now I am on the computer writing this instead of watching trash that only poisons the mind and heart.. So far I have done good at keeping away from it and I hope to stay that way in order to fully reboot and be the husband that my wife deserves.  I went so far today as to round up all the DVD's that were even close to that kind of trash put them in a bucket and lit off an entire strip of firecrackers!  Needless to say, they are gone!  Goodbye and good riddance.  I am praying and hoping that I make it to the 30 day mark for a total reboot.  I wish you all the best of luck, and I am here for those that would like to talk. Stay strong everyone and the REBOOT IS TOTALLY WORTH IT!

So.. I am on day 11. Still not much feeling down stairs but I am hoping by day 30 I will feel something. I have stayed away from P and I feel much better by doing so. I have gotten a lot done around the house since starting this.  Good luck everyone. YOU can do this.

Day 22.  Have had some interactions with my wife since I started this.  Last night for the first time it has started semi working again.  I had a minor relapse while looking for vday gift for the wife.  Went from shopping back to the stupid website that has taken over my life.  1 day and back at it and 6 days no P.  Still no finishing since the start of this journey so that's a good thing at least.

Keep up the good work Sickandtired. I can totally relate to your struggles as this is no easy task....it's great you got to 22 days and I'm sure you will get to 30 days soon enough.  I think it's important to remember that progress is very rarely linear and there will always be periods where the temptation to watch P will be strong but we all have to keep on becoming aware of the urges/cravings/triggers/cues etc.