Valentines Day

mydonspace said:

This Valentines Day will mark 25 years that my wife and I first met.

Valentines Day the past 10+ years has been an emotional day for me when things haven't gone as I expected.  It usually ends up with me going on an emotional bender of using porn and sexting that could last a couple of months.

Tomorrow will mark 45 days that I'm porn free and with my daily meditation I'm hoping to keep my emotions in check.  I'm hoping to make the bedroom alive again after many years of nothing happening because of my porn use and my wife not be interested which I'm realizing is probably from the way I behaved while using porn.

I can't expect my wife to embrace my change only after 45 days when she has so many years of resentment towards me. I'm just hoping for a nice day for us as a couple where we can reconnect on a new level that won't leave me emotional afterwards. 

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Good luck, I hope everything goes well!  Sounds like the day is emotionally charged for both of you.  My advice would be to keep your expectations realistic, and not put too much pressure on her or on yourself.  My wife and I had some blowouts early in our marriage over Valentine's day.  Not porn-related, but it was about expectations.  Since then we mutually agreed to treat it like any other day.  It's worked out pretty well...

Cheers!