BruceWayne's journal - Fixing the Broken Bat

What's up guys. Some of you may have seen me on yourbrainrebalanced and I figured I come over here and check this place out.

I'm 24 years old. Been looking at porn since about age 12 (at least from what I can remember). Internet porn exclusively since about 14.

Basically I'd consider my addiction to be mild. I never escalated or went on day long porn binges. Was just someone who would PMO 1-3 times a day about 10 minutes each session. I always knew that I should probably not look at porn which is why I'd try to limit myself and I never went into more extreme genres because I would feel too guilty. I may have dabbled in tranny porn but the guilt was too much for me to continue.

So yea basically just a normal 24 year old. Finishing up my last semester in college. Hoping to go to grad school. Have a wonderful group of family and friends and a dog who is my buddy.

I enjoy playing xbox (the NHL series are probably my favorite games). I enjoy golfing, fishing, weightlifting (when I have the motivation lol) and hanging out with friends.

For me rebooting isn't necessarily leaving porn behind. It's trying to change the way I think and live so that I can live a more healthy life.

I used to be the type of person who would beat themselves up for anything and everything that didn't go my way or find a way to blame someone else. I spent a good portion of my life feeling sorry for myself. This led to feeling a lot of negative emotions, a lot of which were not necessary.

My goal is to change this way of thinking and develop a more positive attitude and outlook on life.

Edit: I also should probably mention that I do not have ED. I feel for those of you that do I can't even imagine. Just trying to kick plain old porn addiction.
 

Gabe Deem

Administrator
Staff member
Admin
Moderator
@BruceWayne great to see you here man.
I'd consider my addiction to be mild. I never escalated or went on day long porn binges. Was just someone who would PMO 1-3 times a day about 10 minutes each session.

I was similar as far as how many times and the length of my sessions, but I definitely escalated into some crazy stuff... Everyone is different, but the main thing is the consistency of use that can develop into problems and it sounds like you have that one checked off, so it is a great thing you are doing something about it.

For me rebooting isn't necessarily leaving porn behind. It's trying to change the way I think and live so that I can live a more healthy life.

Absolutely. To me those are one in the same... leaving porn behind will lead to a more healthy life, spiritually, mentally, and physically.

My goal is to change this way of thinking and develop a more positive attitude and outlook on life.

Great goal bro! For me to reach this place it took a total mindset change around porn use, and I no longer viewed porn as something that would provide me with pleasure, I look at it as something that took from me the ability to feel it. However, you reach this goal I hope it happens.

We're glad you are here man, welcome to the Nation. Hope the best for you
 
Thanks a lot Gabe, appreciate it.

Today's been a bit of a rough day. My grandma isn't doing too well right now in the hospital, and we don't think she's going to make it. At this point though it might be for the best. She's been suffering for about the past six months after getting open-heart surgery which she never full recovered from.

I guess this is just part of life. The fact that she is most likely going to pass away doesn't bother me that much in all this. It's the fact that she's suffering and has been for a while that does. That's no way to live. When I saw her in the hospital today, it didn't even look like her. She was just a shell of her former self.

Hopefully family is able to pull together through all of this and make the best of it and be grateful for the memories we have of my grandma.
 
PMO'd twice today. I'm having difficulty making the commitment to quitting. Porn has given me so much pleasure over the years but I know that I really should stop. It's just hard to remove porn from my life. It's one of the things that I do for fun unfortunately. I think one of the reasons why I keep looking at it is because I haven't had any of the detrimental effects. Maybe if I hit rock-bottom then that would give me incentive to quit but I'd rather not let it get to that point.

What I'm going to start doing is a day by day approach. I'm not going to think about not looking at porn in the future or all of the porn I've looked at in the past. Just on that particular day I'm going to make the decision to not look at porn. I'm not going to worry about going so many days or whatever. Just one day.

Hopefully if I do that everyday, I'll have built up a large gap between porn and I.
 
I've been doing some experimenting lately with changing my attitude. I tend to have a bad attitude when I'm out and about usually expect the worst.

I tried this change this past Saturday at work. Usually on a Saturday, it is very hectic and busy at the place I work and it can be very stressful. Most of the time I dread working on Saturdays and do not enjoy my time there. But this time I told myself that I'm not going let it bother me. I'm still going to have a good day. And the day ended up being not all too bad. That simple change in thinking probably kept me from having my typical bad day to an actually pretty decent day.
 
Top