Gary Wilson says some people are permanently damaged

Hisself

Member
Just saw a recent presentation by Gary Wilson on the effects of porn on the brain. If you are interested it's his talk in instanbul from 2016 on YouTube. About halfway through he stated that in the past few years he has seen cases show up where guys have done permanent damage to their reward system and will never heal their sexual dysfunctions. He didn't go into further detail on why he thinks that and what it is about these guys that makes them different and beyond repair. I've been searching everywhere to find out more about this. I don't know why he wouldn't elaborate further on this but it kinda scares the shit out of me. What do you guys think about this?
 

CROUS

Member
Hi Hisself,

I just watched the youtube talk (see here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17WEzwGFlM8 ). And what he says is this (I start at min. 10:15):

"... Here is the scary part for us since we observe what goes on in these forums. Men 35 and older who did not grow up using internet porn; they often
heal their sexual problems in maybe six weeks, eight weeks, at the longest twelve weeks. And their healing is stable. They feel great; the problem never
returns. However, what we have started to see in the last three years is that young men in their twenties who grew up using internet porn, especially those
who grew up using what are called porn tube sites where you can stream videos, little clips, they often need six to twelve months to heal. Sometimes two years.
And they are often unstable. We are starting to see a few in the last year or two that we think will never heal, will never be normal. So why is that? ... " (I stop at min. 11:22. After that he goes on with the well-known explanations on the reward circuit and sexual conditioning to screens and pixels).

So first of all - chill out and do not spread panic!

Secondly, although he explains the reward circuit after the quoted excerpt of his presentation/talk, he never says that (and I quote you here) "guys have done permanent damage to their reward system and will never heal their sexual dysfunctions." He simply does not say that. Your claim is based on YOUR flawed interpretation of the talk. Why is it flawed, you may ask. Because you construct your argument from the proximity of his elaborations on the reward circuit to one very specific (but rather secondary) point to his well known bifurcated categorization of men who suffer from PIED (old/young; and young needs longer; and here is the secondary point = some of those young never recover).

Thirdly, why could it be that people do not heal? Well as I said elsewhere, the entire studies of PIED is pretty much in the making. Exciting times for scientist - I bet. However, as of right now, they (him included) deduce their hypotheses from observations, that is, journal entries, stories of people who relapse all the time, stories of people who made it, etc. So, taking that into consideration when he says "We are starting to see a few in the last year or two that we think will never heal, will never be normal" could simply mean that they observe people who do not recover and they do never recover. He never said - not even with one single syllable - that this lack of recovery is due to "permanent damage to the reward system". And he surely did not say that brain studies would confirm such a claim. His phrasing at the end of the talk sums up our situation pretty neatly: He uses the verb "experiment" when talking about what we do with Nofap and no PMO. He simply hypothesized about the causes of PIED by looking at what we write about our experiences during a reboot. (If you cannot tell, I am having those mood swing pretty badly these days...sorry for that).

So, if you read as many stories and journals and what not as I have you will see a pattern or at least reasons for why people might "never heal": They relapse all the time, they do not change their life-style, they are just half-assing it (no hard mode). Or in short: They don't follow through due to a lack of commitment/ or due to a very strong addiction without a social network that could enable them to follow through on their goal. I mean, how many stories have you read where people are just complaining all the time and change nothing at all. Talking can be therapeutic, sure, but not taking action and just talking to feel better for five minutes is not gonna wing it. Consequently, those guys they never heal.

And lastly, your claim (which is build on a flawed interpretation of the talk), completely neglects the fact of neuroplacicitiy (as it is called, I believe). That is the brain's ability to be shaped and reshaped due to exterior impulses and habit formation. Brains do change. That is an established scientific fact. So if Gary's hypothesis is true (that internet porn causes ED and other dysfunctions) then - just by moving within the logic of his argument - you can exclude permanent sexual dysfunctions caused by watching porn alone (I am not including nerve damage here, cause well, if you have that than you have that).

So: I conclude that of course there are people who will never heal and will never return to normal. There always are addicts who break on their addiction. It is up to you to take the steps needed to get out of that bad space you are in right now. I read stories from guys who started watching hardcore porn at the age of eight (!) and still recovered.
There is hope, my friend. Do not despair.

By the way, appreciate you addressing this talk (totally missed it) and posting your easy-to-make misinterpretation. There is no reason for people to lose hope because of it.
Stick to your guns. Reboot. Rewire. And live life.

Good luck y'all.

Peace.


PS: If you re-watch the talk, you will find out that Gary uses the word "never" pretty casually too, when he goes on with his rhetorical question of why older men in their sixties recover faster than "a young man in his prime, healthiest can be, can NEVER normally function with a woman." I mean, come on...you know they can after a good old reboot...
 
Hey Buddy,
I think you mean this video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17WEzwGFlM8&t=170s

I do not think that Gary speaking about unrepairable damages to brain caused by porn. He said that some guys needs more time, sometime up to 2 years to recover.
Recently I had meeting with the best Urologist - Andrologist in Bulgaria. I told him that Viagra nor Cialis worked for me and the only condition to get and keep an ejection is to open several tabs in my HD Television or reverse at least 5 virtual mates. 
He told me that the damages caused by delta Fos B could ruin the brain and in case above drugs did not work it could be irreversible.  :(
He proposed to me 3 things:
- Wait more time.
- Alprostadil. Injection for direct in the penis.
- Papaverin. Injection for direct in the penis.

I tried the last one. I have small improvement.

I am optimistic as Gary always says for many successful stories. You can see the end of the Great Porn Experiment. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU

I hope everyone of us will recover one day.
 

Hisself

Member
I highly appreciate both of your responses and take on this subject. I am 8 months no pmo and have noticed many improvements but I'm not sure how my pied is doing since I'm nothing short of terrified of sex and failing. I wish you all the best of luck. I've had a fetish way before porn and it's the only thing I've ever gotten off to and this is why I believe I have innate wiring that would make sex difficult, add on over a decade of high speed porn and taking drugs to stay up days on end pmoing and I could see how permanent sexual dysfunctions could develop. That's why hearing Gary say this freaks me out so much.
 

aquarius25

Respected Member
I think both responses are awesome!! Seriously great job guys!

Hisself, take some deep breaths. Seriously. I have read here so many times about men putting sex on such a huge pedestal that even when the PIED starts to improve they have an extreme abundance of performance anxiety. I think if you are cruising to hook up on a one night stand and you want to show this woman the most amazing sex ever, you probably won't. One thing that doesn't get addressed often in any of the forum here is how porn has really had an impact on what healthy sex actually looks like. Porn not only can impact your opinions of women and increase objectification but it has impacted your thoughts on men and how to perform. At the end of the day, it's just sex. It's supposed to be fun, not scary. It a great time if both people are having fun and enjoying each other. If one person is super anxious and freaked out, well that isn't fun for anyone. If you are with someone who you are comfortable with, who is your friend. Someone, you can let your guard down and be yourself. Even if you fool around but things don't quite work right, most women don't care. It's more about the experience of spending time with the other person and connecting on a deeper level. So just chill. Meet a nice woman. Enjoy her presents and allow things to come organically. But more than anything, hard mode first and get a handle on your addiction. Everything will be ok. Don't over think things. Everything will be ok. Keep up the good work! And breath!
 

Androg

Administrator
Admin
Moderator
Hisself,

Sorry you're struggling with anxiety at the moment. I think you should consider revising your goals so you ease your distress around sex. The sooner you make friendly contact with potential partners, the more relaxed you will feel.

Standard advice for anyone with sexual performance anxiety is to take all performance pressure off of yourself at first when you're with a partner. Just tell the person you want to go slowly and get to know them (for a month even). Any kind of affectionate touch and kissing is beneficial for you both, but don't try to have intercourse or even receive oral sex until you feel completely ready.

There's no rush, and the easy, relaxed contact is very good preparation for enjoyable sex. This page may have useful tips for your partner: http://yourbrainonporn.com/boyfriend-quitting-porn-5-tips

I think it's also good to tell a prospective partner what you've been experimenting with (rebooting). Most will be very sympathetic...and impressed.

You'll be fine. All the best.
 

DepressedAndOut

Active Member
CROUS said:
Hi Hisself,

I just watched the youtube talk (see here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17WEzwGFlM8 ). And what he says is this (I start at min. 10:15):

"... Here is the scary part for us since we observe what goes on in these forums. Men 35 and older who did not grow up using internet porn; they often
heal their sexual problems in maybe six weeks, eight weeks, at the longest twelve weeks. And their healing is stable. They feel great; the problem never
returns. However, what we have started to see in the last three years is that young men in their twenties who grew up using internet porn, especially those
who grew up using what are called porn tube sites where you can stream videos, little clips, they often need six to twelve months to heal. Sometimes two years.
And they are often unstable. We are starting to see a few in the last year or two that we think will never heal, will never be normal. So why is that? ... " (I stop at min. 11:22. After that he goes on with the well-known explanations on the reward circuit and sexual conditioning to screens and pixels).

So first of all - chill out and do not spread panic!

Secondly, although he explains the reward circuit after the quoted excerpt of his presentation/talk, he never says that (and I quote you here) "guys have done permanent damage to their reward system and will never heal their sexual dysfunctions." He simply does not say that. Your claim is based on YOUR flawed interpretation of the talk. Why is it flawed, you may ask. Because you construct your argument from the proximity of his elaborations on the reward circuit to one very specific (but rather secondary) point to his well known bifurcated categorization of men who suffer from PIED (old/young; and young needs longer; and here is the secondary point = some of those young never recover).

Thirdly, why could it be that people do not heal? Well as I said elsewhere, the entire studies of PIED is pretty much in the making. Exciting times for scientist - I bet. However, as of right now, they (him included) deduce their hypotheses from observations, that is, journal entries, stories of people who relapse all the time, stories of people who made it, etc. So, taking that into consideration when he says "We are starting to see a few in the last year or two that we think will never heal, will never be normal" could simply mean that they observe people who do not recover and they do never recover. He never said - not even with one single syllable - that this lack of recovery is due to "permanent damage to the reward system". And he surely did not say that brain studies would confirm such a claim. His phrasing at the end of the talk sums up our situation pretty neatly: He uses the verb "experiment" when talking about what we do with Nofap and no PMO. He simply hypothesized about the causes of PIED by looking at what we write about our experiences during a reboot. (If you cannot tell, I am having those mood swing pretty badly these days...sorry for that).

So, if you read as many stories and journals and what not as I have you will see a pattern or at least reasons for why people might "never heal": They relapse all the time, they do not change their life-style, they are just half-assing it (no hard mode). Or in short: They don't follow through due to a lack of commitment/ or due to a very strong addiction without a social network that could enable them to follow through on their goal. I mean, how many stories have you read where people are just complaining all the time and change nothing at all. Talking can be therapeutic, sure, but not taking action and just talking to feel better for five minutes is not gonna wing it. Consequently, those guys they never heal.

And lastly, your claim (which is build on a flawed interpretation of the talk), completely neglects the fact of neuroplacicitiy (as it is called, I believe). That is the brain's ability to be shaped and reshaped due to exterior impulses and habit formation. Brains do change. That is an established scientific fact. So if Gary's hypothesis is true (that internet porn causes ED and other dysfunctions) then - just by moving within the logic of his argument - you can exclude permanent sexual dysfunctions caused by watching porn alone (I am not including nerve damage here, cause well, if you have that than you have that).

So: I conclude that of course there are people who will never heal and will never return to normal. There always are addicts who break on their addiction. It is up to you to take the steps needed to get out of that bad space you are in right now. I read stories from guys who started watching hardcore porn at the age of eight (!) and still recovered.
There is hope, my friend. Do not despair.

By the way, appreciate you addressing this talk (totally missed it) and posting your easy-to-make misinterpretation. There is no reason for people to lose hope because of it.
Stick to your guns. Reboot. Rewire. And live life.

Good luck y'all.

Peace.


PS: If you re-watch the talk, you will find out that Gary uses the word "never" pretty casually too, when he goes on with his rhetorical question of why older men in their sixties recover faster than "a young man in his prime, healthiest can be, can NEVER normally function with a woman." I mean, come on...you know they can after a good old reboot...

I'm sorry, but I don't agree with your interpretation. I think Gary Wilson already explained why some will never recover: the connections and pruning that the brain undergoes during adolescences years.

 

DepressedAndOut

Active Member
Because of Gary Wilsons explanation of the scientific mechanism of porns effects on the adolescent mind who doesn't experience real sex.

The explanation was not about the 'will power' to give it up.
 

jerryson

New Member
please want to get something clear here....  are u say that those who started young and had no real sexual exposure with real partners might not recover?
 

scorpion1386

Well-Known Member
jerryson said:
please want to get something clear here....  are u say that those who started young and had no real sexual exposure with real partners might not recover?

Yes. I am in this category too. Why would this be? This makes no sense. Wouldn't there be an article on YBOP about it? Now I'm fucking scared man...
 

misc person 86

Active Member
scorpion1386 said:
jerryson said:
please want to get something clear here....  are u say that those who started young and had no real sexual exposure with real partners might not recover?

Yes. I am in this category too. Why would this be? This makes no sense. Wouldn't there be an article on YBOP about it? Now I'm fucking scared man...


I'm same category too... But I'm definitely healing. Think this thread is down to a bit of misinterpretation... I think Gary was quoting the worries of some of the men he's talked with.
 

chpcbr

Active Member
There's no need or point in spreading this kind of terror. I also think there's a misunderstanding of Wilson's words, but even if he actually meant that... it doesn't mean it's true. One of the core messages of YBOP is about neuroplasticity, so to conclude that certain people or categories are hopeless one would need some serious evidence (and time, this whole thing is still too fresh) against such plasticity. There's none.

Personally (and sadly) my PMO habit long predated my actual sexual experiences, yet my sexual life has been far from a complete disaster. Affected by the habit, yes, sometimes, in some phases. I don't want to downplay the impact of PMO, but I've had quality erections and quality sex most of the time.

It may be a long and bumpy road, but it always leads somewhere.

 

CROUS

Member
DepressedAndOut said:
CROUS said:
Hi Hisself,

I just watched the youtube talk (see here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17WEzwGFlM8 ). And what he says is this (I start at min. 10:15):

"... Here is the scary part for us since we observe what goes on in these forums. Men 35 and older who did not grow up using internet porn; they often
heal their sexual problems in maybe six weeks, eight weeks, at the longest twelve weeks. And their healing is stable. They feel great; the problem never
returns. However, what we have started to see in the last three years is that young men in their twenties who grew up using internet porn, especially those
who grew up using what are called porn tube sites where you can stream videos, little clips, they often need six to twelve months to heal. Sometimes two years.
And they are often unstable. We are starting to see a few in the last year or two that we think will never heal, will never be normal. So why is that? ... " (I stop at min. 11:22. After that he goes on with the well-known explanations on the reward circuit and sexual conditioning to screens and pixels).

So first of all - chill out and do not spread panic!

Secondly, although he explains the reward circuit after the quoted excerpt of his presentation/talk, he never says that (and I quote you here) "guys have done permanent damage to their reward system and will never heal their sexual dysfunctions." He simply does not say that. Your claim is based on YOUR flawed interpretation of the talk. Why is it flawed, you may ask. Because you construct your argument from the proximity of his elaborations on the reward circuit to one very specific (but rather secondary) point to his well known bifurcated categorization of men who suffer from PIED (old/young; and young needs longer; and here is the secondary point = some of those young never recover).

Thirdly, why could it be that people do not heal? Well as I said elsewhere, the entire studies of PIED is pretty much in the making. Exciting times for scientist - I bet. However, as of right now, they (him included) deduce their hypotheses from observations, that is, journal entries, stories of people who relapse all the time, stories of people who made it, etc. So, taking that into consideration when he says "We are starting to see a few in the last year or two that we think will never heal, will never be normal" could simply mean that they observe people who do not recover and they do never recover. He never said - not even with one single syllable - that this lack of recovery is due to "permanent damage to the reward system". And he surely did not say that brain studies would confirm such a claim. His phrasing at the end of the talk sums up our situation pretty neatly: He uses the verb "experiment" when talking about what we do with Nofap and no PMO. He simply hypothesized about the causes of PIED by looking at what we write about our experiences during a reboot. (If you cannot tell, I am having those mood swing pretty badly these days...sorry for that).

So, if you read as many stories and journals and what not as I have you will see a pattern or at least reasons for why people might "never heal": They relapse all the time, they do not change their life-style, they are just half-assing it (no hard mode). Or in short: They don't follow through due to a lack of commitment/ or due to a very strong addiction without a social network that could enable them to follow through on their goal. I mean, how many stories have you read where people are just complaining all the time and change nothing at all. Talking can be therapeutic, sure, but not taking action and just talking to feel better for five minutes is not gonna wing it. Consequently, those guys they never heal.

And lastly, your claim (which is build on a flawed interpretation of the talk), completely neglects the fact of neuroplacicitiy (as it is called, I believe). That is the brain's ability to be shaped and reshaped due to exterior impulses and habit formation. Brains do change. That is an established scientific fact. So if Gary's hypothesis is true (that internet porn causes ED and other dysfunctions) then - just by moving within the logic of his argument - you can exclude permanent sexual dysfunctions caused by watching porn alone (I am not including nerve damage here, cause well, if you have that than you have that).

So: I conclude that of course there are people who will never heal and will never return to normal. There always are addicts who break on their addiction. It is up to you to take the steps needed to get out of that bad space you are in right now. I read stories from guys who started watching hardcore porn at the age of eight (!) and still recovered.
There is hope, my friend. Do not despair.

By the way, appreciate you addressing this talk (totally missed it) and posting your easy-to-make misinterpretation. There is no reason for people to lose hope because of it.
Stick to your guns. Reboot. Rewire. And live life.

Good luck y'all.

Peace.


PS: If you re-watch the talk, you will find out that Gary uses the word "never" pretty casually too, when he goes on with his rhetorical question of why older men in their sixties recover faster than "a young man in his prime, healthiest can be, can NEVER normally function with a woman." I mean, come on...you know they can after a good old reboot...

I'm sorry, but I don't agree with your interpretation. I think Gary Wilson already explained why some will never recover: the connections and pruning that the brain undergoes during adolescences years.

Well, that does not make any sense then since many who started out on porn did recover nevertheless...
Being depressed and giving up (or what does your name imply - sorry, I just get annoyed by people who spread ill-informed "opinions" and scare other people. If you wanna have a discussion about the alleged permanency of brain changes/ sexual conditioning, list your arguments) does not seem to be the right way to solve this problem.
Will power and social interaction are two important aspects to tackle that addiction; especially when you consider that the latest research on addiction point towards social isolation as one of the key aspects promoting addictions. As soon as you interact with other human beings (or do all those beneficial things others listed elsewhere on YBOP and here) and stop watching porn, your brain will have to adopt to the new reality you create. Those new interactions and habits will set impulses it has to react to - since a brain is not static/ unchangeable but the contrary.
So, the logical consequence is: give up high speed internet porn, go out and meet people, and stop moping around and obsessing about day counts (a purely psychological tool to help you through reboot) and what constitutes a relapse and what does not.

Peace.
 

DepressedAndOut

Active Member
I wa simply posting my interpretation of what Gary Wilson was saying. I truly hope im wrong, but this issue is something that we need to investigate further.
 

CROUS

Member
DepressedAndOut said:
I wa simply posting my interpretation of what Gary Wilson was saying. I truly hope im wrong, but this issue is something that we need to investigate further.

You are right, DepressedAndOut.
Sorry for being this upfront, no personal attack was intended.
And yes, a discussion about this would be the best thing we could do.

Peace.
 

DepressedAndOut

Active Member
Is it possible for the natural sexual pathway in the brain to wither due to disuse??

Especially if  you're in your mid 30s and never been alone with a woman. (Intimately)
 

scorpion1386

Well-Known Member
DepressedAndOut said:
Is it possible for the natural sexual pathway in the brain to wither due to disuse??

Especially if  you're in your mid 30s and never been alone with a woman. (Intimately)

I'm curious to know this as well.
 
Hey Fellows,
Please take a look at one of the latest interviews of Gary Wilson in Steven Crowder broadcast show.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0s3WFENlZ4&t=54s
This man always speaks about positives after quitting porn. There are many evidences that if you stay away for long time you will recover from PIED and all other porn induces problems.

However I saw another video. This is Norman Doidge. He wrote the bestseller The brain that changes itself.
As you probably know when you watch porn and edging you create the neuron protein Delta fos be. Mr. Doidge says that it can cause irreversible changes in the brain. It sounds not pretty much optimistic.   
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_X-KtntITtE
 
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