rad_sky
Member
Hello everyone
today i want to share my reboot process and my relapses in this two month
I decided to start rebooting in the beginning of May, not long after my birthday (i thought im already 20 and im enough of this crappy stuff). I remembered that i post here in my first days and feel so motivated to reboot.
After 19 clean days of no PMO, the urge strikes back and i can't bear it that day and i gave up. I dont watch porn, i just read some adult story. I thought that adult story is better from porn because it contains no image, but i was totally WRONG.
Adult story was total injection of dopamine, because we can fantasize all we want and the story is usually very very fiction.
After that, i started to reboot again. I feel like i can fight harder with my additional relapse experience. In my 20th day, i was so horny and i can't focus in my activity. So i decided to masturbate without fantasy, after i read about that in YBOP. Again, i thought that it was no problem because i didnt include fantasy, but believe me, it was the DAMN door to relapse. I thought it was not conseidered as relapse, so i continue my count. In day 23, i relapse with porn! The real cause is the masturbation without porn, because it give the trigger to the pleasure that my brain familiar with.
I started again, and this time was very bad. Yesterday i relapse, and the count is just 6 days. But i dont give up, my spirit is still there. So this morning i downloaded our admin, Gabe Deem advice video : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0dDLWGMhUo and feel absolutely motivated this time. I thought that my mistake is not sharing with other in my first days, because we need to share our
story to increase our confidence and spirit.
That's all, thanks for reading and feel free give me some advice, i'll appreciate it
today i want to share my reboot process and my relapses in this two month
I decided to start rebooting in the beginning of May, not long after my birthday (i thought im already 20 and im enough of this crappy stuff). I remembered that i post here in my first days and feel so motivated to reboot.
After 19 clean days of no PMO, the urge strikes back and i can't bear it that day and i gave up. I dont watch porn, i just read some adult story. I thought that adult story is better from porn because it contains no image, but i was totally WRONG.
Adult story was total injection of dopamine, because we can fantasize all we want and the story is usually very very fiction.
After that, i started to reboot again. I feel like i can fight harder with my additional relapse experience. In my 20th day, i was so horny and i can't focus in my activity. So i decided to masturbate without fantasy, after i read about that in YBOP. Again, i thought that it was no problem because i didnt include fantasy, but believe me, it was the DAMN door to relapse. I thought it was not conseidered as relapse, so i continue my count. In day 23, i relapse with porn! The real cause is the masturbation without porn, because it give the trigger to the pleasure that my brain familiar with.
I started again, and this time was very bad. Yesterday i relapse, and the count is just 6 days. But i dont give up, my spirit is still there. So this morning i downloaded our admin, Gabe Deem advice video : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0dDLWGMhUo and feel absolutely motivated this time. I thought that my mistake is not sharing with other in my first days, because we need to share our
story to increase our confidence and spirit.
That's all, thanks for reading and feel free give me some advice, i'll appreciate it