Relationship advice needed

I would like some advice I'm 24 virgin nearly 25 and addicted to porn obviously, I became socially awkward and secluded myself. But now trying to turn things around and has been really difficult. I'm going back to college hopefully this year for a confidence boost and to sort things around. The major problem is women, I'm scared to enter a relationship or even talk to them, 1 because I'm nearly 25 and a virgin and 2 because I'm a in recovery from porn. So my question is how would I start off and at some point I do enter relationship what if nothing works. I want to talk to women but scared of the way they will see me and thing of me and during that time I will no doubt still be in recovery. I'm aware that a relationship is not a option right now, but it is something I want. How do I manage this and work around it and what if I get rejected?

Hey Un1111, glad to see you've noticed your addiction and are moving forward with your recovery!

Your awkwardness with the opposite sex could be a result of your addiction to porn and little to no interaction with a real woman, sexual or otherwise. Porn makes women into
sex objects, nothing more, and with your brain only relating to women in that way that could be how you have come to see or regard them. And because you are still a virgin
and not familiar with sex, you are not familiar with women.

If this is the case, my advice would be to quit porn altogether, possibly even start yourself on a reboot and quit masturbating to orgasm as well. One option could be to avoid pursuing
anything of an intimate relationship with a woman while you are in your recovery. You could however, start up friendships with women to get yourself better acquainted with them so you
know how to act/talk/think around them. This would serve in readjusting your brain to think of women as actual people and not objects.

Also, and I CANNOT stress this enough, DO NOT feel ashamed or anything negative of your age and virginity. I was 21 when I lost mine and felt the same way you did, that I would end up
like Steve Carell in 40 Year Old Virgin. Everyone experiences everything differently, you no more or less than anyone else. Do not compare yourself to the lives or experiences of others, by
doing so you will never feel happy or fulfilled with your life, no matter where it leads or turns out.

Why are you scared to talk or enter into a relationship with women, do you think? Nervous about them knowing you're a virgin? If they find that information out and regard it in a negative way,
then clearly you would not want to end up with a woman like that who cares about you so little, and should feel glad that you avoided such a person in your life. Try to look at every experience
that ever happens in a good and positive light, that everything you experience is the best possible thing that could happen to you. Sound crazy? Sure does, but why not think like that?

Thank you for your reply I am grateful although I have been of porn since January 2014 with not much progress. I'm guessing at this point to fully recovery from erectile dysfunction I would need to lose my anxiety and interact with women,

I think that would be the best bet since you have already given up on porn, would be to face your fears and interact with women, as you've said.

I am curious, in what instances do you notice you have ED? Was watching porn not doing it for you anymore and you would lose an erection while masturbating? Do you still wake up with
morning wood?

I  am not getting morning wood and after watching porn for 4 years I started to lose my erections when watching porn. I did have a blood test to check my hormones and they said it was ok that was back in early 2013. I'm actually very worried about the ED I have and not quite sure myself I did see the doctor about a month ago regarding this matter but he didn't take me seriously and disregarded me. I do a have anxiety and depression and did watch hardcore porn and masturbated quite a lot to it. I was told it could take me longer and just hoping on that

It sounds like you have desensitized yourself and its taking you more and more to be able to achieve the same effect, an erection.
I would suggest going to a doctor (not the same one the disregarded you), perhaps a urologist, and getting your testosterone checked to rule that out.
Although I'm pretty sure you're fine physically. Just keep up the no PMO reboot, and start associating with women so your brain identifies them in the correct way.

If that's the case is it fixable or permanent note that I do eat healthy and quite slim with no diabetes

I am by no means a scientist or an expert in anything involving any of this, but I do know that the human brain is an amazing thing and is quite capable of much more than we realize.
Everyday brain cells are destroyed and new ones made. People are constantly rewiring their brains and learning new things. So looking at all of this and in my opinion, no it is definitely NOT
permanent and very much fixable.

Thank you for your support and quick replies I appreciate it. I will have all this checked out.

You're most welcome, and the best of luck to you!

Feel free to PM me with any thoughts of concerns, or anyone else for that matter.

Hi. I'm a woman. We aren't hard to approach. It's a lot about when and where you approach us that will make or break your chances. Do you have any hobbies? If not you should find something non computer related to get into girls like guys who are passionate about stuff. Then you have something to talk about that's not personal. It neutralizes the interaction and we relax and listen. When men approach us, especially young girls in their 20s who haven't yet learned to tell whether a guy is a threat or a non threat, we naturally have our guard up. We can feel when a man is hitting on us. And most of the time, it's inappropriate (like at the store, mall, work, etc) when we are focused on other things and we shut down (avoiding eye contact, answering questions with short replies, acting preoccupied, etc) these are signs that "I'm not interested". When you see these signs, just leave her alone. Don't take it as a rejection. Women only seek potential mates in social settings. Other places like work or the mall, we are preoccupied, and sexual advances feel threatening.
Try talking to women you are NOT physically attracted to first. So you can focus on the conversation, and you aren't throwing any sexual vibes.

Thank you for your reply  I appreciate it very much especially from a womens point of view. I will no doubt still struggle, but I will do my best and push on.

I am also a woman and agree with the above.  I would also say that right now you should not be seeking anything other than a friendship with a woman because of your anxiety.  Once you build a report with women you can then gradually start talking to women you are attracted to.  Your girlfriends can even help you in that department.  My husband was one of my best friends for years before we started dating and the main reason I liked him was because we had a lot in common and he was a genuinely nice person.  Start slow, like a friends mother or sister, then maybe a cousin, your sisters friends.  Basically women you come into contact with naturally.  Start treating them like you would a guy.  We really are not different 

A lot of people say that I shouldn't think negatively about being a virgin at my age but it is scary especially when I don't have much experience with women. I often get scared about what they may say when they find out. I don't think bad about myself for being a virgin, but what other people may think. I was criticised by my brother for awhile for being a virgin now I have a complex about it.

As a woman, I can say that virginity isn't a problem for most of us. I would rather be with a virgin than with someone that's been with a handful of women. The only women that I can think of that would have a problem with it are the superficial ones or the girls who are looking for casual relationships and one night stands. I agree that you should try to pursue friendships with women first though. 

Thank you.

Perhaps your ideas about women are coming from media and porn but most women could care less about your experience.  We truly want a good guy above all else (unless they are the type of girls Rainie mentioned).  My husband was a virgin when we got together and he was 25.  He was the best lover I ever had to be honest!  My one bf who had slept with countless women was the worst.  You'd think that with all his experience he'd know how to be a good lover but nope!!  Experience matters very little. 

Thank you very much, I'm truly grateful hearing this from a womens point of view.

And your right a lot of what I have seen, has came from media and porn. I just need to interact with women to get to know them better.