Christian Support Group

Hey guys, I noticed that there are a lot of Christians on here, and because the struggle to overcome porn addiction is so intertwined with our faith for a lot of us, I thought it would be nice if we could all talk and support each other in that context. That being said, non-Christians are definitely welcome here too! I've read other people's journals about having difficulty with rebooting because sex before marriage is off limits for them, or even masturbation. Does anyone have any advice in those situations? How has your relationship with God helped you with your recovery? How has your addiction conflicted your relationship with Him? Anyone have any good scripture to share? Join in!
I know that for myself, one of the biggest problems has been believing that God actually forgives me for some of the things I've done, when I can't forgive myself. His love is literally too deep for me to fathom.
I look forward to hearing from you guys!

One of the themes in our faith that especially sticks with me is stewardship. I'm not talking about financial matters, but rather making the most and taking care of what we've been blessed with. He's the question I had to start asking: is what I'm doing a proper or productive use of the blessings I've received?  Am I spending time studying to be successful in school, or killing time with PMO?

Thanks for responding I was starting to think this would be a solo trip.

tift14 said:

One of the themes in our faith that especially sticks with me is stewardship. I'm not talking about financial matters, but rather making the most and taking care of what we've been blessed with. He's the question I had to start asking: is what I'm doing a proper or productive use of the blessings I've received?  Am I spending time studying to be successful in school, or killing time with PMO?

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That makes me think of 1 Corinthians 6:12 (NLT)
" You say, "I am allowed to do anything"--but not everything is good for you. And even though "I am allowed to do anything," I must not become a slave to anything. "
Sure, we could be wasting our time PMOing, we have free will, but where does that get us? How is that good for us? And just because we made the choice doesn't mean that we're strong enough to stop it on our own. For myself, I know I "became a slave to" P, and the only way for me to get out of that slavery is through God. And you're right, we've been blessed with skills, let's put them to good use!

Couldn't have said it better!  I think PMO is such a distraction from more meaningful things. But I think, in the course of rebooting, it's critical to draw a distinction between healthy sexual activity (such as with an actual partner without outside stimulation) and unhealthy, damaging activity like PMO. The whole "sex shaming" routine, if you ask me, stops a lot of conversations about PIED that we as a society need to have.

I am not a Christian but I do believe in a God but not in the biblical sense. 

You are an expression of God so anything you have done is already forgiven by God IF you can forgive yourself.  The true path to redemption is through self forgiveness.  All of the things you have done that you do not deem worthy of Gods love were divine expressions of God because you are a divine expression of God.  To not forgive yourself is to not forgive God itself/himself.

Have you read any of the Christian books out there on this topic?  So many great reads!

Bibbity said:

I am not a Christian but I do believe in a God but not in the biblical sense. 

You are an expression of God so anything you have done is already forgiven by God IF you can forgive yourself.  The true path to redemption is through self forgiveness.  All of the things you have done that you do not deem worthy of Gods love were divine expressions of God because you are a divine expression of God.  To not forgive yourself is to not forgive God itself/himself.

Have you read any of the Christian books out there on this topic?  So many great reads!

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I'm happy to see you here, Bibbity! I love your advice. Well I don't agree with the idea that my sins were a divine expression of God's love, I do appreciate what you are saying. The further I go with this reboot, the further I can separate myself from my identity as a sinner. One of the verses that has been heavy on my heart lately is 1 John 3:9-10 "Those who have been born into God's family do not make a practice of sinning, because God's life is in them. So they can't keep on sinning, because they are children of God. This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not God's child, nor is anyone who does not love their brother and sister."  Watching pornography cannot in my mind be described as "right" and watching men and women disrespect each other in that way is not loving my brothers and sisters. For that reason, it was always really hard for me to talk to God. I felt like I had to be perfect. How could I pray if I had just watched porn an hour before? Obviously those were the times when I needed to pray the most, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it because I didn't feel like a child of God. Lately I've been starting to believe the truth that I've always told other people, that God loves them unconditionally and is waiting to forgive them. Once a person asks for forgiveness God forgets the sin and doesn't hold them against them anymore. So when John writes that a Christian stops sinning after becoming a Christian, I can believe that because in God's eyes I am as white as snow. Does that make sense to you guys? I know I'm really wordy, I don't have the gift of being concise.

Another thing I have been thinking of lately is my role as a woman in helping other addicts. I see a lot that men list attractive women as triggers to their relapses. I know that among most Western women there is a sentiment that men need to  be responsible for their own thoughts and actions and can't hold women accountable, and I agree. But on the other hand, I know that men are wired differently (supposedly - I feel just as tempted by attractive people as any man) and the visual aspect is particularly strong. The bible teaches that women should dress and behave modestly. Clearly that idea went out the window a long time ago with most women. I feel that I dress fairly modestly, I wear longer shorts and try not to show "too much" cleavage in my shirts and dresses. That being said, I do like to follow the trends and be as attractive as possible. What does it mean to men for a woman to be modest? Is makeup an issue, tight clothes, or is it just her face and body? Do you appreciate it when women make the effort? What is the biggest obstacle for men, and how can I stop myself from being a trigger to men I come across?  I know that a lot of women would say that this isn't my job, but I really think that it comes under the heading of "loving my brother". So seriously, how can I help?

Kaybee said:

I know that for myself, one of the biggest problems has been believing that God actually forgives me for some of the things I've done, when I can't forgive myself.

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Hi Kaybee. Thanks for starting this "support group".

I have always struggled to forgive myself for being a sinner, particularly in the area of PMO. One thing that has really helped me in my recovery has been the "positive, encouraging" music on the Christian radio station K-LOVE (www.klove.com). I listen to this music every day, and it really makes me feel better about myself (and God) and helps to keep the negative, self-loathing thoughts out of my head that always used to trigger PMO.

Here is a particularly good song about forgiving other people, that I also think can speak to the idea of forgiving yourself:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1Lu5udXEZI

Hey STR, I'd heard before about an online Christian radio station, but I didn't know where to find it. So thanks! I've even heard of some people doing a 30 day challenge of listening to nothing but Christian music, just to get them to pay more attention to what the songs on the radio are really about (sex!). I'll definitely be checking out some of their music. 
What I need to focus on is reading the bible. I used to be in the habit of reading it every day, but now I barely ever even pick it up.