5-22-2016.....will fight my addictions,

2 weeks ago i realize my I want to change my life, so facing me are my addictions , my problems are mental , smoking pot for me gives me a huge imagination, my thoughts will just wonder and wonder . i see now, as of today i am better off with just one personality, one solid consistent mind set to help see what is real and what is not real.....today i made a offering of my marijuana in the river  , now it will be day by day...in the future I will meet my lovely friend again, i will win this battle, the rewards will be much better then my wondering fantasies ...as i see now porn for me is also just thinking of porn, even a split second vision

Good luck Richy!

Good decision bro! Good start! Keep journaling too it will help.

thanks so much, your support helps....i feel strong , i made some calls, will speak to a counselor , day 2 clean and sober, i feel young and healthy

How are you today?

Cheering you on man!

today i am doing ok, now i realize from advice on this site how to properly maintain my journal.
I read Williams post (hello gentlemen now we begin ) and the links provided. this really inspires me, and thanks to the one who recommended this reading, Gabe Deems videos  have also open my eyes . I have not yes told my story, I will on my next days off, i know it important for me to share this for support and advice, to open up with humility, so i can know my own self, in a way I am still confused, but less confused, is my case severe, is it porn related, anxiety related ED or both. In my heart I know with dedication and discipline along with the help of others I can overcome this, its not so much a problem for my to avoid porn on the internet or in photos, the problem for me is visions of porn and sexual fantasies in my mind, currently my body feels broken, i have kept my goal of no marijuana, or drugs and have not had a drink of alcohol for almost a month now. I will see a addiction counselor in 5 days from now, not sure if he even understand the subject of porn or anxiety related ED all i know is i need to be strong, and learn about myself, so sleepy goodnight, and thanks for reading and hope to hear words of encouragement.