Constant and compulsive gay / lesbian porn addict

I'm a 20 yr old male , who is also a Christian struggling with this porn addiction . For months I could go without it . Now it's  went from weeks I could control it, to only a few days . And now it's making me want to act out to experience the euphoric feeling . But Ik if was too do so that after sex I would feel like crap. Just as I do now . This lifestyle has not help me get in a relationship . And I fear everyone is starting to notice, I think I maybe romantically attracted to girls but sexually to men. I wish I could just cut it off but when I'm trying to quit the urges kick me down . Or if  go cold turkey I'm snappy and have slight anger . I just need to quit so I can figure out my sexuality . PORN is not helping . I feel like this sin of lust is just taking me over and I want it to END !!

Hey, man, welcome to forum!

Porn does a lot to mess up our brain and our attitudes about others, ourselves, and sex. You're definitely right to be committing to getting rid of it. I have found a lot of good support and ideas here that have helped me a lot to make some progress.

We're all in this one together!

Thanks for the support ! I really need someone to reach out to here so I don't keep everything cooped up and go insane

Good call: definitely read and post in other people's journals, especially people whose experiences resonate with your own. I think that's one of the best ways to find a good group of supportive people here.

Keep fighting the good fight!

I feel your pain. I grew up in a Christian home. Had a relative who is two years older than me who helped me have my first orgasm at the age of 8ish. From there, it was oral sex, anal sex, and m/o. This imprinted my brain which then has affected me most of my life. I married in my early 20s. My wife and I have had amazing sex. BUT, due to the imprinting, the missing father, etc. etc. etc., I wanted to be with a man. Again, the imprinting did some major damage. Read some of my notes in the 40-+ section. It's painful trying to make it through life knowing what we know a believer should be doing vs what we actually do.

Hang in there! How about finding an AP who you know you can completely trust and then let this person know you need him in your life to help keep you on the right path.....not to judge you, but to love and support you.

Welcome to the nation!  Could you change your journal title to not be so triggering?