Hey bud, I see that you relapsed, but I am so glad you are still on the site and are doing journal entries. Yeah I understand what you mean about how frustrating it is to make it for a period of time and then end up looking at porn. I used to go about 3-4 days between porn and masturbating. When I would watch porn, I would binge watch it for as long as humanly possible. It was soo frustrating to feel good about making it for a few days and then failing miserably. I am here to tell you, that you will not and cannot be perfect, but you have got to get some emergency responses in place for when you start sliding down that path of looking at porn. As an example, when I start to feel like I am having a really big urge to view porn, I immediately email my counselor. He may not respond immediately or even that day, but the simple act of telling someone "man i'm feeling some big urges to look at porn or masturbate" does a lot to denture you. Another example is yesterday, I told my wife how sometimes the most difficult days are the days that I feel happy. I told her that I know it sounded weird, but because I have spent a large majority of my life associating all emotions with porn that I have struggles dealing with porn on days that I am genuinely happy. Because I told her that, she didn't leave me alone in the house at all yesterday, and I'll be honest it pissed me off, it aggravated me so bad and I tried to piss her off so that she would leave me alone, but she didnt. I am so thankful for that because if it wasn't for her staying on top of me I would have very likely relapsed. I tell you all this because you can have a similar relationship with someone. Just choose one person to be honest with about your issue, and tell them you will let them know when you are feeling like using porn. Something really important I learned from my dad who also struggles with porn is that you do not have to overcome this alone, and it is actually very unlikely that you will overcome it alone.
