Struggling...

I'm five days away from 30 days in monk-mode, and I am really feeling the pressure. It's so strange how one day I barely feel any cravings and the next I can't stop thinking about sex. I just fear for tomorrow. What if I can't fill my schedule? What will I do with the extra hours? I am jittery and have a hard time sitting still despite that I've exercised and haven't edged at all since I started. The loneliness is killing me.

Any suggestions?

'True' cravings kick in starting at 2-3 weeks. So you're right in the midst of it. Just know that from here on it will get easier, this right now (give/take 2 weeks) will be the worst it can get. Take pride in the fact that this is perhals literally the most anyone can want orgasm/porn and you're still clean.

Fear will ruin you so try and sort that quickly. Perhaps it's time you join a club to get you out of the house in your extra hours. Martial Arts are great, release aggression and energy.

There's a good book I recommend on overcoming this type of fear and negative emotion, it's called 'Release your Brakes' by James Newman.

You're closing in on an important milestone (30 days), keep going. Don't MO / M because that will increase cravings.

If I were you I would decide yourself a 3 year plan of where you want to go with your life and really get into the process. Visualize and imagine these goals becoming true, get very specific with how new day to day actions need to be executed to reach your goal. Have something to aim for rather than simply 'not relapsing'. You need the future to drag you in, lean into it.

Also, watch this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLtSoWrEplM

Thanks for the reply, it was helpful.

For me, cravings came in waves.  When you're feeling good you can get a bit cocky, and the hard cravings catch you off guard because you worry that maybe you weren't making any progress.  The truth is that you ARE making progress, but your porn addiction is like an army that retreats and comes back with reinforcements; ultimately it means that you're winning, but you need to be ready for it.

The other side of it is that if you're in the midst of a hard craving phase, you can know that if you ride it out, it will get better.  Where the craving can really trick us is to make us think that a relapse is the only way to relieve the pressure, but it is far from the truth.  Ride it out, don't fall for the traps, and once you're on the other side of it, you'll feel a lot better.

Something to look forward to: In my own non-professional opinion, this is when the reboot happens.  When the addiction is attacking us and we fight, that is when we're doing rewiring.  When we're just sitting still and feeling okay, we aren't rewiring that much.  So, if you're sweating it out and feeling awful, remember that the feeling is you beating the hell out of your addiction.

When the addiction is attacking us and we fight, that is when we're doing rewiring.  When we're just sitting still and feeling okay, we aren't rewiring that much.  So, if you're sweating it out and feeling awful, remember that the feeling is you beating the hell out of your addiction.

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Never thought of that before. It makes sense though. The days after very hard cravings have usually been the most productive for me. Keep writing in the forum, you have good perspectives.

Thanks to both of you guys.