I really need help.urgently, my life is on the line

Hello guys am 19 year old.i started watching porn at the age of 13 by accident..I was going through my brother phone when I first saw porn, and instantly I became excited that every night I will wait for my brother to fall asleep so I can go back to my favorite porn and watch 30 min to 1 hr through that night..and this happened throughout, to early 17 that it became my daily routine. At age 17 I started using my personal phone and I became hooked and addicted to porn that I started watching 5 to 7 porn daily..and after some months masturbation came along...and this have really messed up my life...I came across Gabe deems video that was when I knew pmo was really a problem for me...I tried masturbating without porn even using fantasy but of no use..that was when I decided to start my nofab journey..my longest streak is 2 weeks and everytime I go back to my bad habit I really feel sad and wanting to end my life..and sometimes swear to GOD that I won't pmo again that if I did he  should end my life, but still d urge increase everyday...I have lots of motivational video just to keep my mind straight, but after a week or two, I will fall back again...I feel ashamed that when I pmo I can't face my family it's as if am betraying them...and now age 19 still pmoing, I really need help guys, even after knowing how bad it is and how it has ruined lots of peoples life and relationship, I just can't bring myself to stop.
Yesterday I was really horny and it was as if the devil was beside me , pushing me to watch porn and I lost control of myself and relapse, I really feel useless and have no future..m starting another streak today, and I pray and hope today will be d last day..

I've been struggling for a while myself bro. I dont know what I can say that'll help other than know that you're not alone. And know this....You're 19 and you realize it. I was 25 before I realized it so its good you're starting early to fix this. Stay fighting.

Bo0gYmAn said:

I've been struggling for a while myself bro. I dont know what I can say that'll help other than know that you're not alone. And know this....You're 19 and you realize it. I was 25 before I realized it so its good you're starting early to fix this. Stay fighting.

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thanks,hope you have given it up

Welcome, friend.

The bad news first: today won't be your last day looking at porn.  Rebooting is full of relapses.  That is just how it goes.  There is heartache, frustration, anxiety, and all sorts of emotions.  You'll question everything about yourself, your sexuality, your worth, your health, everything.

The good news: You will gain so, so much by quitting porn!  You're catching this early, and will be able to get things back on track nicely.  If you started at 13, then you're yet to know what a porn free adult life looks like.  And, quitting is entirely possible.  It is a hard, hard addiction to kick, but it is 100% possible.  Being patient with yourself is important, and it will pay off, though sometimes progress is so incremental that we don't even notice it.

Going a week or two isn't bad at all.  If you can keep your relapses short, the little bits of progress you make will add up.  If your relapses are big binging sessions and you take little vacations from rebooting, then it'll get harder to make progress, because you wash away any real quitting.  In fact, when you relapse in that way, there is evidence to say that it actually makes withdrawals worse.  You'll eventually learn your triggers, and the things you need to eliminate from you life, even if only temporarily.  I spent several months rarely making it more than a week, but it eventually turned into quitting for good.  I'm approaching the two year mark now.

DoneAtLast said:

Welcome, friend.

The bad news first: today won't be your last day looking at porn.  Rebooting is full of relapses.  That is just how it goes.  There is heartache, frustration, anxiety, and all sorts of emotions.  You'll question everything about yourself, your sexuality, your worth, your health, everything.

The good news: You will gain so, so much by quitting porn!  You're catching this early, and will be able to get things back on track nicely.  If you started at 13, then you're yet to know what a porn free adult life looks like.  And, quitting is entirely possible.  It is a hard, hard addiction to kick, but it is 100% possible.  Being patient with yourself is important, and it will pay off, though sometimes progress is so incremental that we don't even notice it.

Going a week or two isn't bad at all.  If you can keep your relapses short, the little bits of progress you make will add up.  If your relapses are big binging sessions and you take little vacations from rebooting, then it'll get harder to make progress, because you wash away any real quitting.  In fact, when you relapse in that way, there is evidence to say that it actually makes withdrawals worse.  You'll eventually learn your triggers, and the things you need to eliminate from you life, even if only temporarily.  I spent several months rarely making it more than a week, but it eventually turned into quitting for good.  I'm approaching the two year mark now.

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wow marking 2 year, congrat bro...and thanks 4 the info