Author Topic: Changing my life after 20 odd years of porn  (Read 15839 times)

horpio

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Re: Changing my life after 20 odd years of porn
« Reply #125 on: June 19, 2017, 08:41:08 AM »
My brain is the strongest organ of my being. If I am able to control my thoughts, my life can be happier in an instant. Years of conditioning has made me more of a victim than an owner of my situation. Owning my being gives me power to do something about it, helps me take control of my life, moves me to act in my own best interest, spurrs me on to dream once more and reach for the stars. PMO is such a small insignificant glitch in the bigger scheme of my life. 

horpio

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Re: Changing my life after 20 odd years of porn
« Reply #126 on: June 20, 2017, 09:21:19 AM »
Had a session with my coach tonight. We spoke about how he tells his wife he's not interested in having sex with her. Instead, he tells her that he wants to make love to her. I like that. I like having a connection with the person I'm intimate with. Too much porn changes my way of thinking about sex. It then becomes just some mechanical action without a deeper connexion which is what I'm after. I can watch how many tubes I want, it will never nurture that deeper connexion which I'm after. It never makes me happy after it's done.

horpio

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Re: Changing my life after 20 odd years of porn
« Reply #127 on: June 21, 2017, 06:00:31 PM »
The tracker is ticking over at regular intervals. The week has been fine so far. No urges for P or M. In my case it helps to use my free time away from social media or if I do make use of it, using it to educate myself, contribute or enjoy subjects that interest me such as motivational tubes, learning about real estate investing or watching music related stuff. Then also, I've started reading a lot more than before, especially replacing my tablet or mobile before bedtime with a good book. That's what I've been doing to have more significance in my life. The other thing is keeping a daily journal and also posting on here, to keep track of my progress.
Take care everybody and good luck with the challenges you have to deal with.

horpio

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Re: Changing my life after 20 odd years of porn
« Reply #128 on: June 25, 2017, 08:13:38 AM »
PMO free for a week. Yay!

horpio

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Re: Changing my life after 20 odd years of porn
« Reply #129 on: June 26, 2017, 09:51:26 AM »
Bombarding my brain with a lot of motivational and soulful stuff. Hundreds of youtube videos available. Part of my morning ritual is to read, write in my journal and take a few minutes to meditate. Also started doing pushups and situps in the morning. Getting up earlier to start on a good note. It helps. Looking forward to being intimate with a real person. Just letting go and letting God at the moment. Actually learning what that means cause I don't really have a clue. So used to taking action, or doing something. Like the saying: 'Don't just sith there, do something' Well, try and reverse this: 'Don't just do something, sit there.' You'll be amazed at what insights come to you when you do nothing. It's so difficult these days to do nothing. We get so easily bored of doing nothing

horpio

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Re: Changing my life after 20 odd years of porn
« Reply #130 on: June 29, 2017, 09:02:52 AM »
I'm not far from 2 weeks no PMO or even sex. I feel like a monk, or a good priest :-) I am told that life is all about the inner game, how one is able to control your emotions and thoughts. How to be the master of your mind. Heard that so many times before. It's much easier said than done I find. However, my intention is to keep on working at my inner world because I believe that it's there that the battles are won.

horpio

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Re: Changing my life after 20 odd years of porn
« Reply #131 on: June 30, 2017, 10:09:51 AM »
I'm proud. Today marks two weeks. I've travelled the road before. I will do it again.

horpio

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Re: Changing my life after 20 odd years of porn
« Reply #132 on: July 02, 2017, 05:34:09 PM »
I made it past halfway to my goal. Weekends are always the most challenging. I made it through the weekend. Still feel like a monk.

horpio

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Re: Changing my life after 20 odd years of porn
« Reply #133 on: July 14, 2017, 06:57:51 PM »
Two days to go and I will reach my goal. It has been 90% easy. Done it before and decided I 'll do it again. It helps to pay attention to my inner world and become a better person. Anything, literally anything, can be an addiction. It's a way for me to escape the inadequacies within myself. But I'm ever learning to love myself and accept myself the way I am. I am enough. No need for something else to enhance my happiness. The answers and happiness are all within me.

horpio

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Re: Changing my life after 20 odd years of porn
« Reply #134 on: July 17, 2017, 07:45:06 AM »
I did it. Now I'm already halfway to my 60 day goal.