Retro Gamer
Member
Like many people here, I started using porn at a young age and gradually over the years the use of it has become more frequent and the material more perverse. I wish I realised earlier on in life that this was an addiction but I was oblivious and turned a blind eye on all the problems it was causing me. I believe porn is the root cause of most of my problems, for example: I am hugely overweight, I have terrible acne, I have low self esteem, I am too shy, I have depression, I am lazy, I can't keep a job, I don't have any energy nor motivation to do something useful, I have lost interest in socialising, and the list goes on. I think it is probably all porn related. In my early teens, when I first started using porn, I didn't have any acne and I wasn't overweight. So I often think to myself and wonder how my life would have turned out if I didn't consume so much porn.
My attention span is short (like a kid who ate 10 packs of Skittles) and I would like to be able to concentrate better. If you do some research you will find out that porn actually causes these concentration problems. When I initiate a task or project, it's without motivation but with hindrance and I get bored very quickly. Before becoming a porn addict I had so many interests and hobbies, but over the years as the porn use increased, other interests became suppressed.
I have never suffered with ED, but my love life is still non-existent by my own choice. I feel like I cannot love. Sometimes I feel like my emotions are dulled/deadened. It's a terrible thing to admit, but I look at the body of a woman too much, I put too much emphasis on it. And I don't appreciate her personality and how she is inside unless she's got a nice body, so for this reason I haven't been able to keep a relationship and never really wanted to. My relationships have been disastrous. In honest truth, all I want from girls is sex, and I know that this is wrong and I would really like to change it. I also have a problem with trusting people and I'm usually quite suspicious of them. The thought of a relationship confuses me and I can't decide whether that's what I want. They say that it is too much porn that makes you start viewing women as sex objects and this is exactly what it's done to me.
At the moment I can't commit to anything and anyone, and I don't want to. In previous relationships I found it hard to feel an emotional connection and I was quite self-centered, I was dishonest and egoistic. I cheated and I lied. I know for sure that the real me is not like that, and it is all the pleasure seeking that has made me like this. Porn and the sexualized culture we live in changes us in so many ways that we don't even notice. Addiction and lust makes you live a double life: you are an actor on stage with a mask, but behind the mask is a dark person with dirty habits and a stained soul. This has to change.
It was only a few years ago when I actually decided to try and do something about it and I have tried quitting porn, although my attempts have been spineless and I always give in again. It has always been so hard to quit this thing. And as I've been trying I have also been learning about porn addiction and all the negative effects it causes. I am certain that my life can improve in so many ways if I can beat this addiction and get free from the enslavement of it's chains. Porn is a pollution to your mind and soul. It darkens your morality. It's a disease that slowly degrades your mind bit by bit. Today I have decided to give rebooting another attempt after reading up about the issue. I am motivated to turn my life around, otherwise if not now then probably never. I have read that the older you get and the more years you have been using porn, the harder it gets to quit and the more intense the withdrawal symptoms.
Some of the new steps I am taking this time in order to beat this thing are: I will avoid using social media, because it really does not help. I am going to start exercising regularly and not give up. Start eating healthy and avoid fast food/junk food. I will limit my computer use and instead spend more time outside, work more, do something creative, read or socialise. No gazing at women, no thinking about sex, no fantasising and nothing that can be arousing: all this keeps you addicted and craving more. I love watching movies, but I have noticed that they make recovery a lot harder, so I am going to limit the time I waste watching movies and TV. I am not going to masturbate at all. This is also a bad habit just like any other bad habit. If you want to break free from porn addiction then it's best you don't beat your meat at all, because doing that will reinforce your addiction and make the recovery so much harder.
My attention span is short (like a kid who ate 10 packs of Skittles) and I would like to be able to concentrate better. If you do some research you will find out that porn actually causes these concentration problems. When I initiate a task or project, it's without motivation but with hindrance and I get bored very quickly. Before becoming a porn addict I had so many interests and hobbies, but over the years as the porn use increased, other interests became suppressed.
I have never suffered with ED, but my love life is still non-existent by my own choice. I feel like I cannot love. Sometimes I feel like my emotions are dulled/deadened. It's a terrible thing to admit, but I look at the body of a woman too much, I put too much emphasis on it. And I don't appreciate her personality and how she is inside unless she's got a nice body, so for this reason I haven't been able to keep a relationship and never really wanted to. My relationships have been disastrous. In honest truth, all I want from girls is sex, and I know that this is wrong and I would really like to change it. I also have a problem with trusting people and I'm usually quite suspicious of them. The thought of a relationship confuses me and I can't decide whether that's what I want. They say that it is too much porn that makes you start viewing women as sex objects and this is exactly what it's done to me.
At the moment I can't commit to anything and anyone, and I don't want to. In previous relationships I found it hard to feel an emotional connection and I was quite self-centered, I was dishonest and egoistic. I cheated and I lied. I know for sure that the real me is not like that, and it is all the pleasure seeking that has made me like this. Porn and the sexualized culture we live in changes us in so many ways that we don't even notice. Addiction and lust makes you live a double life: you are an actor on stage with a mask, but behind the mask is a dark person with dirty habits and a stained soul. This has to change.
It was only a few years ago when I actually decided to try and do something about it and I have tried quitting porn, although my attempts have been spineless and I always give in again. It has always been so hard to quit this thing. And as I've been trying I have also been learning about porn addiction and all the negative effects it causes. I am certain that my life can improve in so many ways if I can beat this addiction and get free from the enslavement of it's chains. Porn is a pollution to your mind and soul. It darkens your morality. It's a disease that slowly degrades your mind bit by bit. Today I have decided to give rebooting another attempt after reading up about the issue. I am motivated to turn my life around, otherwise if not now then probably never. I have read that the older you get and the more years you have been using porn, the harder it gets to quit and the more intense the withdrawal symptoms.
Some of the new steps I am taking this time in order to beat this thing are: I will avoid using social media, because it really does not help. I am going to start exercising regularly and not give up. Start eating healthy and avoid fast food/junk food. I will limit my computer use and instead spend more time outside, work more, do something creative, read or socialise. No gazing at women, no thinking about sex, no fantasising and nothing that can be arousing: all this keeps you addicted and craving more. I love watching movies, but I have noticed that they make recovery a lot harder, so I am going to limit the time I waste watching movies and TV. I am not going to masturbate at all. This is also a bad habit just like any other bad habit. If you want to break free from porn addiction then it's best you don't beat your meat at all, because doing that will reinforce your addiction and make the recovery so much harder.