Mid twenties and feels like i'm an old man already the symptoms ARE REAL!

Okay guys I start my journey today, a little back story is i learned about MO since first grade! yep that long ago saw some kid doing it in class and i followed along and started doing that all the time, super weird right? well I still grew up normal atleast what i think is normal, till about jr high. I was the class clown and everybody loved me in elementary I had a ton of friends, and then in jr. high I started getting really bad anxiety, guess what got added to the equation? the P part of PMO. I basically started losing all my friends from elementary because I was super awkward then I was tired all of the time literally fell asleep all the time in class was super skinny acne everywhere, the whole jist, never knew the reasoning behind the tiredness and anxiety and just being super shy and awkward.

Beginning of highschool i almost lost my virginity, sorry weird way to start a second paragraph but most people wont read if they see a whole glob in one big paragraph. It was impossible for me to get hard and this was my crush that I was super attracted to! missed that opportunity and never spoke of it again. The opportunity didnt arise again till senior year of highschool. Keep in mind I am a very attractive guy, I just have severe anxiety from feeling tired all the time! it feels like it takes my brain a little bit to process stuff. anywho this time it was to a girl i was dating for 2 months she basically had to suck me off for 30 minutes till it somewhat got decently hard we did it and i finished in like 30 seconds no joke.

After highschool and me and her stopped dating I kept up with the PMO I would go to parties all the time get drunk try sleeping with some of the most attractive girls that were from my highschool class, and I kid you not I failed 10 times I did not know what was wrong with me so I found my solution, VIAGRA. it made everything work the way it should, I know I should not be taking it but I failed so many times and so many great opportunities and relationships were ended because of the PIED.

Lets fast forward to modern day, now im in my mid twenties and I feel like I am falling apart and its all because of these symptoms that I have and I know its from PMO I must really be in the severe stage of it already at 24 here are my symptoms:

Severe back pain in lower back (I have an article I will put at the bottom that shows you the study of this.
Life feels like im just floating by in it severe brain fog and slow reaction
tired almost all the time
REALLY REALLY bad hangovers, which is also linked to the back study then PMO does shutdown/ slowdown liver function
PIED it literally will not work unless i take viagra
Unmotivated
I'm honestly never happy
Have to drink caffeine every day tons of it to get by
Irritable
Can't focus in on a conversation
puffy nipples ( raised estrogen) from stress from MO (my opinion)

So yeah in my opinion the symptoms of PMO are real I am living proof, if there is any kind of medical issue that would cause this other than PMO to shut me up then let me know, but i see alot of people come on this forum just to say hey man its all in your head masturbation is really healthy! These people have no idea, or they must of started M at a later age, like my friend didnt find out till he was 13 - 15 everything works fine on him, but he sure doesnt do it as regularly as I do.

I am starting my journey today, because this is rediculous I have dropped out of school I am losing hair from the stress and anxiety this puts me in, at around the 1-2 month mark I will start applying for a better job, I will post updates weekly ( every sunday ) commenting on my mood and back pain how the willy is working etc. Hopefully I can change someones life with my progression, or if it is just all in my head I will try to lay it to rest if this is all in peoples head or not.

Link to back pain article:

http://www.herballove.com/guide/lower-back-pain-caused-over-masturbation

Welcome to the forum! You are doing well in boarding the nofap train. At least for me, it worked wonders. Educate yourself on ybop.com. the more you know, the easier it gets. you will notice your brain playing tricks on you easier if you know what you have to expect.

Floink

DAY 4

Alright guys so basically 4 days into my journey, anxiety is still there for some reason I got REALLY tired yesterday after work and slept from 6pm till 6 am in the morning, I really dont know what that was i was supposed to go nap and then go work out.

The awesome thing about to day is that my back pain is significantly lower, I worked out back today and instead of deadlifting 135, I did 205 without the sharp pains in my back. My crypto currency stocks are going great, and everything so far seems to be positive. I will check back in on sunday and give you guys a 1 week checkin like i said I dont know for how long I'll do these check ins but I will keep doing it till something successful comes out of it in my life.

Things that I have noticed wrong with me that might be linked to PMO, Severe social anxiety due to brain fog, really bad mental clarity where you cant even read a book, PIED, I was super pale but started taking iron, and now my skin is starting to get color again and look shiney ( they say during O you lose some iron)

I have started taking supplements in the morning and night to hopefully speed up the process, I do want to buy a thyroid mix possibly this weekend to see if that will up my energy and get rid of the anxiety.

Morning:
Liveraid
DIM
DHEA
Ashwaghanda
Multivitamin
Fishoil
Iron
D3 (gives anxiety sometimes)


Night:
Liveraid
DIM
Magnesium
Mucanapruiens

In two weeks i will also update yall if I am going to south padre island for spring break, this is a big move because
A. Drinking and partying causes relapse
B. I dont know till then if i'll be ready or not mentally and physically wise

If i do go i know I probably will get laid since I am attractive, but I don't want to use viagra if the event arises anymore nor should I have to at this age, so i might just stay and do something.  over here I really want to test myself after any of my crypto currencies go up and I can pay off some debts and move out then.

Will keep yall updated peace!

Keep it up bro. Careful with the mucuna, may not be the best for you long-term

Day 7

Alright guys so made it 7 days, for the past 2 days I have really been having a hard to refraining, but its more of me craving sex rather than masterbating. I got back into the dating app for some reason, even though im still living at home which is pathetic, but I really think my investments are going to take off within next month. I am thinking ALOT clearer as of now, but the energy drinks I keep downing during work i drink a monster and then later a coffee then even later after that for the gym i drink a pre workout with 400mg of caffeine, my body always feels like its in overdrive mode, i really want to stop the caffeine but probably wont be till around next month if my investments take off and I can spend a good couple months not working just investing.

I have been talking to my boss more and realized that he is just weird as hell, if im not talking about something work related or politics its like he just short answers, im really ready to leave because its getting really uncomfortable for me the awkwardness and its just me and him there all day for 8 hours of almost silence that im not really getting out of the anxiety awkwardness phase.

a little thing I didnt mention was that me and my ex broke up around 2 weeks ago before i started this journey she turned into a major abusive alcoholic just like her mother. We had no more of an emotional connection she didnt even want to have sex unless she drank, I miss the old her, but I know someone alot better and more appreciative will come along my way where we can have an emotional and sober and euphoric love connection.

Sorry been jumping around all the place here are some things I have noticed getting better:
Brain fog going away
better eye contact
dead lifted more than I have in over 6 months on friday so back pain is going away
i am getting hornier but the caffeine is keeping my penis full baby carrot mode (erect 7 inches)

Overall feeling happier, but i do want someone to fill in the gap my ex did I am going through a really hard time at home and just want someone supportive there, but I do realize I have nothing to offer them at the moment, no apartment no money etc. I could pull out my investments right now pay off some immediate debt and move out but honestly I want to be patient and live a comfortable life. I honestly think it really sucks though that some people are going through exactly what I am been broke since 18- almost 25 and didnt do anything through life except masterbate to fill in the void. I am kind of ashamed of myself with how many people I have been with and really just dont deserve to have been. If I had a daughter I for sure would not want her to be with a guy like me.

So enough with the sad crap this month should be great I will get back to yall next week on sunday with an update, my investments should boom I can sit back and relax finally I hope and work on all this. I blew through half my twenties I dont want the other half to be bad.

Im honestly telling you guys you have to stop PMO it is bad for you I did it for around 18 years since I was in first grade, the people it isnt effecting are the people who have only done it since their teens and are around 20-30 its a horrible pathway it takes time to burn off dopamine receptors, A really weird thing that i have is that when i get really happy i tend to tear up for some unknown reason I believe its because my body isnt used to being happy or making other people happy. CHANGE your life and stop the PMO

see you next week

DAY 13 *Big news*

Alright so doing this blog a bit early because tomorrow I plan to have a very awesome productive day, okay i won't keep you guys waiting the big news is I am going to move! I decided to pull out from some investments this thursday and do a couple sales, I am extremely stressed and quite frankly its sad a 24 living with his grandma.

Okay updates on how I am feeling at day 13, I AM NOT depressed i feel like my penis has shrunk though, but I have been drinking loads of caffeine I tried to go one day off it last thursday and friday I was back on it. Eye contact is getting so so much better and I really feel woman being more attracted to me and I think thats because my skin is like GLOWING now it has its color back etc. my perfermance at the gym, my legs are getting stronger my body is getting back into shape every time i go im lifting more.

Another big news is that I am going to switch to being VEGAN I have decided to do this because I believe we are putting bad hormones in our body eating crap foods and one of those bad hormones is ESTROGEN thats why were always depressed and fat and look like blobs. So I am going to go vegan trust me right now I look built kind of like bane off batman, but I really want to cut down to a healthy 170-175 being 6 ft tall I want to be light on my feet and shredded.

I will also put lay to rest If your penis grows in size, Currently i am at almost 7 inches and I would love in my weight loss journey to gain half an inch to an inch and I think my bloodflow right now is poor and me going vegan and doing no pmo and regular exercise will this grow.

Day 14

Quick checkin with you guys 2 weeks straight have passed!!!! woke up this morning with a stiffy the first one in a long time that I have had and not cause i had to pee or whatever, took a shower this morning and after wards was looking at how much more alive my skin looks, Going to go kill it at the gym today, its kind of a gloomy cold day here in the DFW so no hiking today yesterday was beautiful though.

DAY 17

Applied for an apartment and got it! I would have never had the energy to of sat down and looked around for an apartment if I didnt quit PMO, unfortunately I sold out of my lower quantity stocks i had but my penny investments are still there locked and loaded I'm so excited, still going strong still hitting it at the gym making huge gains, eye contact is awesome, my sentences are coming out better. Hanging out with some chicks at the apartment this weekend so the O part is more than likely gonna go away, but read its still okay to have sex during this course since sex releases endorphins and P doesnt!

Anyways will be back with the update sunday!

Day 1 Relapse!


Guys I am sorry I relapsed it was way to much to handle and alot of women are trying to hangout with me when I get the apartment and were sending me pics etc, the brain fog IMMEDIATLY came back and I feel like I am going to have huge amounts of anxiety at work, I really dont know why I didnt just wait, but also when I was doing M the O part was almost immediate and even when it wasnt even fully erect. It was just way to much built up, anywho I already feel sluggish and drained and sad I kinda gotta start all over I should of saved it for regular sex...

Hey guys just a quick update I have been binging, I am restarting and yesterday was day 1 so currently on day 2, I couldnt tell you how amazing it felt making it over 21 days, YOU have an absurd amount of energy its just insane, and motivation etc. I am going to be more serious this time as to now I spent the whole weekend partying drinking got laid once, ( used viagra just to ensure). It wasnt that great honestly the sex I was actually kind of grossed out it was with an old girl friend that completely just let herself go. I really feel like I need to push myself to make it further this time and to completely stop, I was basically still going to P websites to see if anything was posted about my ex (weird right) just so I could have some leverage when she keeps trying to say shes faithful, but after this weekend and the arguement we got into I don't really care what happens to her honestly.

I'm going to try to get a second weekend job on day 14 because it takes about 7-9 days to start getting the energy and focus and drive again. I am going to keep up doing my investments, birthday is at the end of the month so thats really the only time I want to drink, so less chance of binging.

But yeah ill keep you guys in the loop with how my body is reacting, after day 7 ill add the mucana pruriens back into my daily routine because right now i feel that my hormones in my body are fighting regardless to stabilize and mucana wont really help till then.

Symptoms after MO after 21 days that came back:

Depression
estrogen (nipples puffy again and moody)
Lack of eye contact
lack of confidence
weirdness, now its hard to think and say something to my boss
Overall pessemistic view of stuff
Lacking strength at the gym
Back pain back at an all time high (although I think this is due to my bed being old)
Having to drink insane amounts of caffiene ( over 400 mg ) just to feel awake and get through my work day.

PMO is the problem, I also believe sex drains you as well unless maybe you can get laid all the time by 9/10 supermodels and boost your confidence, other than that its just depressing knowing you wasted your energy (sperm) on someone your not even attracted to (not gonna say ugly because I don't believe anyone is ugly)

Ohk guys see you sunday!