Death Trap
Active Member
Gentlemen,
I've been talking with a lot of you here, who seem to be having problems similar to me--namely, with regard to transitioning to real sex after the 90 day reboot is completed. I've learned the hard way that this step is absolutely crucial for the following reason: the longer you go without having sex after completing the reboot, the more likely it becomes that you'll slip back into PMO out of sheer sexual frustration. Let me tell you: I am not going back to PMO, and I'm not going to live a life of chastity. It follows logically from this that I am going to need to transition to sex, as are most of you.
The problem is this: a lot of us are, for whatever reason, not very good with women. PMO has made us awkward, or we slipped into PMO because we are awkward, or we had negative life experiences, religious upbringings, whatever. So, if we want to transition to sex, we are going to need to deal with these problems, and I'd like this thread to be a place where we can do the following:
--present our own unique problems in transitioning to sex.
--provide advice and motivation in dealing with these problems.
--set concrete goals for ourselves and each other, and report back on how we accomplish these goals, and the problems we may run into.
--discuss ways of overcoming fears--fear of rejection, fear of approach, fear of asking for a number, etc.
--offer thoughts on general self-improvement as it relates to attracting women.
Please allow me to offer a few ground rules, and I'll invite others to add new ones or modify these ones if they like:
1. Honesty
It is essential that we be honest with each other, and ourselves here. No one is going to be helped if, for example, you lie about having completed your set goal of talking to 5 girls in a week. This is an anonymous Internet forum, and there's no reason for you to be dishonest with other members--especially since we want to help you transition to sex. We cannot help you if you don't meet us halfway.
2. No whining
If someone calls you out for wussing out, don't whine about it. You are going to have to deal with negative feelings and thoughts once you start meeting and having sex with girls, so don't act offended if someone is straight with you. You need people to be straight with you if you want to fix this aspect of your life.
3. Not being judgmental
It goes without saying that we must be honest with each other, but we must also not be judgmental. We all have insecurities, hangups, fears, etc., that we've accumulated from whatever sources. Let's accept the fact that we're all human, and are going to make mistakes and have weird issues, and work towards fixing them together.
4. Non-PUA
Ideally, I'd like for this to not turn into a PUA thread (pick up artist). I have a lot of issues with PUA as a movement, and besides, it's somewhat ridiculous when you think of it. This is not to deny that there are some good insights within some of the writings of that tradition, and they may be worth discussing if appropriate to a particular member's problems.
5. No questions on PIED or on Abstaining from PMO
We have other forums for discussing these important issues, so please keep those posts separate from this thread.
My Story
I'm 36 years old, and despite the fact that I'm considered handsome, have never really had a girlfriend for more than a couple weeks. If I'm honest with myself, the girls that I've dated/slept with in the past have either been the result of alcohol, or a situation in which she has initiated the contact (it's amusing to me to think of the Korean girl I knew, who just came up to me and kissed me, God bless her). I don't drink much anymore, and I'm not going to wait around for a girl to imitate contact with me. I have a lot of fear around going up to a woman I don't know and introducing myself, and putting myself in the position of vulnerability. PMOing was my way of escaping this responsibility, and it's time for me to own up to the fact that it is on me to fix this aspect of my life.
Now, I need to enlist the help of those of you who have transitioned to sex successfully in this thread. You may not, for whatever reason, have the particular insecurities that I and others here have--and are thus in a great position to help us.
It's my opinion that thinking about transitioning to sex should begin no later than 2/3 of the way through the reboot. At any rate, if you've completed 90 days and are not working towards this, I think you need to identify your problems, and begin to fix them.
I am going to monitor this thread closely, and will not rest until all of us are having successful sex with women we desire. When one of us has successful sex with a woman, we all do.
I've been talking with a lot of you here, who seem to be having problems similar to me--namely, with regard to transitioning to real sex after the 90 day reboot is completed. I've learned the hard way that this step is absolutely crucial for the following reason: the longer you go without having sex after completing the reboot, the more likely it becomes that you'll slip back into PMO out of sheer sexual frustration. Let me tell you: I am not going back to PMO, and I'm not going to live a life of chastity. It follows logically from this that I am going to need to transition to sex, as are most of you.
The problem is this: a lot of us are, for whatever reason, not very good with women. PMO has made us awkward, or we slipped into PMO because we are awkward, or we had negative life experiences, religious upbringings, whatever. So, if we want to transition to sex, we are going to need to deal with these problems, and I'd like this thread to be a place where we can do the following:
--present our own unique problems in transitioning to sex.
--provide advice and motivation in dealing with these problems.
--set concrete goals for ourselves and each other, and report back on how we accomplish these goals, and the problems we may run into.
--discuss ways of overcoming fears--fear of rejection, fear of approach, fear of asking for a number, etc.
--offer thoughts on general self-improvement as it relates to attracting women.
Please allow me to offer a few ground rules, and I'll invite others to add new ones or modify these ones if they like:
1. Honesty
It is essential that we be honest with each other, and ourselves here. No one is going to be helped if, for example, you lie about having completed your set goal of talking to 5 girls in a week. This is an anonymous Internet forum, and there's no reason for you to be dishonest with other members--especially since we want to help you transition to sex. We cannot help you if you don't meet us halfway.
2. No whining
If someone calls you out for wussing out, don't whine about it. You are going to have to deal with negative feelings and thoughts once you start meeting and having sex with girls, so don't act offended if someone is straight with you. You need people to be straight with you if you want to fix this aspect of your life.
3. Not being judgmental
It goes without saying that we must be honest with each other, but we must also not be judgmental. We all have insecurities, hangups, fears, etc., that we've accumulated from whatever sources. Let's accept the fact that we're all human, and are going to make mistakes and have weird issues, and work towards fixing them together.
4. Non-PUA
Ideally, I'd like for this to not turn into a PUA thread (pick up artist). I have a lot of issues with PUA as a movement, and besides, it's somewhat ridiculous when you think of it. This is not to deny that there are some good insights within some of the writings of that tradition, and they may be worth discussing if appropriate to a particular member's problems.
5. No questions on PIED or on Abstaining from PMO
We have other forums for discussing these important issues, so please keep those posts separate from this thread.
My Story
I'm 36 years old, and despite the fact that I'm considered handsome, have never really had a girlfriend for more than a couple weeks. If I'm honest with myself, the girls that I've dated/slept with in the past have either been the result of alcohol, or a situation in which she has initiated the contact (it's amusing to me to think of the Korean girl I knew, who just came up to me and kissed me, God bless her). I don't drink much anymore, and I'm not going to wait around for a girl to imitate contact with me. I have a lot of fear around going up to a woman I don't know and introducing myself, and putting myself in the position of vulnerability. PMOing was my way of escaping this responsibility, and it's time for me to own up to the fact that it is on me to fix this aspect of my life.
Now, I need to enlist the help of those of you who have transitioned to sex successfully in this thread. You may not, for whatever reason, have the particular insecurities that I and others here have--and are thus in a great position to help us.
It's my opinion that thinking about transitioning to sex should begin no later than 2/3 of the way through the reboot. At any rate, if you've completed 90 days and are not working towards this, I think you need to identify your problems, and begin to fix them.
I am going to monitor this thread closely, and will not rest until all of us are having successful sex with women we desire. When one of us has successful sex with a woman, we all do.