Author Topic: 22 year old seeking advice with current progress  (Read 167 times)

ManOnAMission7

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22 year old seeking advice with current progress
« on: March 13, 2017, 03:52:21 PM »
I'll do a brief summary of why I'm here. Started watching porn and jacking it at around age 12 and have been watching porn for 10 years now. I would do both imagining scenarios I've been in before with different girls about 50% of that time to jerk off to and the other 50% of the time would use porn. From 12-16 I didn't use it as much as I did from 18-22. From 18-22 I started to get into different types of porn, but nothing hardcore or weird and would constantly change the types of porn/girls I would watch more near the ages of 20-22.

I've always had problems with whisky dick in the past before ED was really a problem for me, but not all the time. Once I hit 21, I started having sex with the same girl for a while and got bored of it and couldn't get it up for sex. This was for two main reasons: too much porn and I'm also uncircumcised and sex has always been a bit painful depending on how drunk I was or how loose the girl was. The foreskin was always so tight and the head was too sensitive. I could roll the skin back, but it would practically suffocate my dick once it was rolled back, but could still stay decently hard. The head was still way to sensitive at the time which made sex very difficult for the most part. 

I thought at an early age when I started having sex at 15 that it would naturally go away, which I made some progress in the 6 years from 15 to 21, but not enough, even though I was pretty sexually active (mostly bjs and hjs tho and some sex along the way that was never amazing). So after I stopped seeing this girl mainly because I was actually bored of her and didn't wanna take things seriously, I knew I had to do more manual methods of desensitizing my dick.

So now at age 22 and I'm in college again, this being my 2ndish year because I took some time off, my dick is finally almost good to go. I did everything to desensitize it and it's pretty much at 100%, still a bit sensitive, but that'll pass soon with proper consistent sex. I've been seeing this girl for the whole year practically as friends with benefits and I could never give her quality sex tho because of porn induced ED and performance anxiety after failed attempts in the recent past. Now with a month left of school, I was prescribed some Cialis and it worked pretty well the first time I used it, took 10mg and had ok sex for about 10 minutes before I went soft again while inside her (my head was still a bit sensitive I could feel, but wasn't too bad). It was mainly the performance anxiety that ruined it for me.

So now a week later, the relationship has gone in a bad direction because friends with benefits wont last forever, especially if she's getting terrible sex, even though I would always make her cum with foreplay if we couldn't have sex, so she was still somewhat satisfied. We also connected well and we would cuddle for long periods of time. Now she's looking for new experiences though which is reasonable because she just got out of a 2 year relationship and has only had sex with 2 other guys other than me and she just turned 20 and is almost done her 2nd year of college. She seems to be done with me probably because of the bad sex, even though it's gotten significantly better because of the Cialis and we'll probably try it again soon I hope with the Cialis one more time, but a 20mg dose to see if I can stay harder for longer.

I stopped watching porn altogether about 3 months ago after doing research and realized it was a problem. I was still jerking off tho to things that would turn me on in my head, some kind of porn related stuff, some experiences and also of course trying to imagine the girl I was trying to have sex with, but that would still be a bit to boring to turn me on just thinking about it. After doing some reading on yourbrainonporn.com, I realized that I should just stop jerking off all together. This really isn't hard for me to do, but when I first attempted it a couple months ago it was such a shock to my system I thought I just needed balance and began to jerk off still, but less frequently like once every other day opposed to what I have usually been doing for the past couple years which was at least once a day on average.

So right now my current situation and strategy is: haven't jerked off in about a week, still haven't watched porn in 3 months, almost 4 now and plan on never jerking off until I'm back to having normal sex without pills. I may do some start and stop stuff which is what a sex therapist advised I could do, which is to jerk off a bit and not orgasm and essentially tease myself to get ready for the real thing once it happens. If you have read this whole post I really appreciate your time and would love some advice on what you think I should do, thank you!
« Last Edit: March 13, 2017, 04:25:29 PM by ManOnAMission7 »

willtochange

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Re: 22 year old seeking advice with current progress
« Reply #1 on: March 19, 2017, 07:51:36 AM »
I would focus on your reboot and not have sex with anyone until you can get erections without the use or thoughts of porn/experiences. Best of luck!


Vegeta1710

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Re: 22 year old seeking advice with current progress
« Reply #2 on: March 19, 2017, 05:23:33 PM »
I think real world situations are best. Have sex for progress reasons. Don't think of pleasing her be selfish and try to do it for yourself. Once this thing runs its course remember your experiences and meditate on them. Remember how she felt and the feelings you had inside and calm yourself about them. Envision yourself with a good erection and prepare for the anxiety in your brain until it becomes less scary. Once y'all are over don't jerkoff and don't watch poem ever. Let your sensitivity and levels return and continue to meditate and get your mind ready to overcome anxiety. Envision yourself performing and feeling great. Everyday for a couple minutes. Then take everything naturally until your next experience. Once your body is rebooted and your mind is strong you'll be fine

ManOnAMission7

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Re: 22 year old seeking advice with current progress
« Reply #3 on: March 20, 2017, 12:59:38 AM »
Thanks for the advice guys. Appreciate it. Right now I'm on week 2 of no jerking off and 4 months no porn. My erections are coming back for sure (mainly because I haven't done anything sexual for 2 weeks including anything with girls). I'm having sex with this girl again sometime this week with a 20mg pill of Cialis. Like I said I was just prescribed Cialis and only took half a pill (10mg) last time. My performance anxiety should get a lot better after this next session. The last time we did it with Cialis it went well for 10 minutes until the head of my dick started to hurt just a bit because of my sensitivity that's almost completely gone though as well.

Meditation is the one thing I don't do much of that I know is important. Does anyone know any daily techniques I should do? I kind of already imagine myself having a fun time and being erect inside her, but there's probably more detailed techniques of meditation that would help more.

Side note: I have mild anxiety in general, but it's really not bad at all, just more situational.

Vegeta1710

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Re: 22 year old seeking advice with current progress
« Reply #4 on: March 20, 2017, 05:23:25 PM »
Anxiety is normal. Do breathing techniques and envision yourself feeling your anxiety and beating it. Then do your best. Take this chick as a step towards progress. I know it sounds shallow but you can't think of her especially if she's not going to be in your life. Just use her to get more real world experience and focus on your own pleasure