Author Topic: My recovery. PIED and lack of motiviation  (Read 2562 times)

Death Trap

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Re: My recovery. PIED and lack of motiviation
« Reply #25 on: March 19, 2017, 12:43:37 PM »
Hey man. First of all, I want to tell you how happy I am that you are dealing with this problem while still a teenager. It makes me feel great that you will not waste your 20's with this nonsense the way that I did.

I'm also really glad that you are adamant in not looking at porn. You must be careful, however, because relapse can be quite sneaky. Something as mundane as reading about Thai massages can lead to some innocent touching; which can lead to taking a peak at some sexy pics; which can lead to some less than innocent touching; which can lead to...I tell you this, because I've done it many times.

Now, let me tell you what has helped me in dealing with urges more than anything else (this is the idea contained in le_petit_moster's hack book, based on Allan Carr's method for quitting smoking, which I also used). So, since I've read that man's book I have not even come close to relapsing, but I've definitely had faint cravings from time to time. For example, I'll get the image of one of my favorite porn scenes (garbage) in my head. What le_petit_moster says you do when this happens is say to yourself "Thank God (or whatever) I don't have to give in to this urge." I say that out loud to myself, and then just continue doing whatever I'm doing. And then the urge just vanishes.

The idea is to get your conscious mind on the side of not looking at the porn, and not to get sucked into an internal battle, whereby one part of your brain wants to fap, and the other part doesn't want to fap. This creates internal tension, which only makes you want to fap to relieve it. So, you need to get your conscious and unconscious aspects on the same side, which is what saying to yourself "Thank God I don't have to look at porn anymore in my life" is supposed to do. You are re-programming your unconscious mind to want to have nothing to do with fapping, which is an incredibly powerful tool.

What are you planning on studying at university, may I ask?

NoFapValentine

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Re: My recovery. PIED and lack of motiviation
« Reply #26 on: March 20, 2017, 04:17:27 PM »
I already kinda wasted my last 3-4 years, but yeah, thats definitly better than shipping this problem into my late 20s..

Yes, this was an exception, I'm not planning on doing this again :D

Thats a good trick, thank you! will definitly try this next time! I'm not saying it loud right now, but thats pretty much what i think. I think: Oh nice try, but thank you i will not watch that. (If there are some hot girls in a music video for example)

I will study Economy-Enginee :)

Death Trap

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Re: My recovery. PIED and lack of motiviation
« Reply #27 on: March 20, 2017, 04:34:07 PM »
I already kinda wasted my last 3-4 years, but yeah, thats definitly better than shipping this problem into my late 20s..

Yes, this was an exception, I'm not planning on doing this again :D

Thats a good trick, thank you! will definitly try this next time! I'm not saying it loud right now, but thats pretty much what i think. I think: Oh nice try, but thank you i will not watch that. (If there are some hot girls in a music video for example)

I will study Economy-Enginee :)
Typical German!

Mrreeboot19

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Re: My recovery. PIED and lack of motiviation
« Reply #28 on: March 20, 2017, 04:45:16 PM »
19 year old here, after 73 days of no porn of any kind all I can say is it gets easier and easier and then you just forget about it. In fact, the reason I logged in was to see how long its been because for me it feels like a lifetime ago. So many positive changes happened to me, including great motivation, that the pmo lifestyle just seems idiotic it seems as dumb as smoking honestly. Just stick to it and after a while it will become natural to fill your time with other things you wont even think about porn. Good look to you
I haven't PMOd since September 25th 2017 and I never will. Never surrender!

NoFapValentine

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Re: My recovery. PIED and lack of motiviation
« Reply #29 on: March 21, 2017, 03:48:57 PM »
haha True. I hope i will work at Mercedes sometime^^

Thank you mrreeboot19!

I think i will stop reading the whole forum for now , I'm spending too much time on this site, which i could use otherwise. Will probably Post 1 time per week from now on, and if i need to due to strong urges or what else can happen ;).


NoFapValentine

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Re: My recovery. PIED and lack of motiviation
« Reply #30 on: March 27, 2017, 03:28:23 PM »
Hmmmmm... I kinda want to release. I feel like I need to release. I asked myself if I just want to do it 1 time per month, but then I answered: It's stupid, it leads to more masturbation and eventually to porn even if I know that it's bad and threatens me. But I had a little Edge session again, because i did the Kegels naked and then i wanted to measure my dickk. It's not that im masturbating or stroking it, more like trying to get him hard and thats it, but I know that plays games with my Dopaminesystem. But that shouldnt be that big of a problem beacuse i am not addicted to the Dopaminething from Masturbation. Still todays session was the worst i had until yet, because like 1 hour after i stopped, i got a little release of sticky stuff coming out of my dick, which i had normally after masturbating. Not sure if I count it as a relapse, but still since i stopped counting days idk if a relapse is that important. But Im not having any problems quitting porn, thats why i dont think its that big of a deal, beacuse im trying to fight off the PIED.

Death Trap

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Re: My recovery. PIED and lack of motiviation
« Reply #31 on: March 27, 2017, 03:45:55 PM »
Well, I don't think what you did is good, but it's certainly not that bad. Are you not experiencing the desire for real girls yet? Why aren't you out there meeting girls? Aren't you in college or something?

The only thing in MOing by itself that can be bad is if you are fantasizing about porn, which can be quite subtle.

Be careful in the coming hours, since you're gonna probably get hit hard with the desire to MO or, even worse, look at porn.

NoFapValentine

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Re: My recovery. PIED and lack of motiviation
« Reply #32 on: March 28, 2017, 10:18:42 AM »
Its not that easy because I am not in germany right now for 3 more weeks and Im not speaking french that good, since I started learning just a few months ago and im not safe enough to flirt with girls and i also have no real connection to get to know people here. And i didnt drink alcohol the last 3 months :D But when im back in germany that will be better.

I didnt think of porn when i 'edged' and i dont htink i would if i masturbated 1 time per month, but that can lead to more and as i said i think once a month is harder than not at all..

It was ok, but i didnt fall asleep that easily.

But I think my reboot will take some time and wont be that easy because I Wasnt wired to real girls. But im not sure with that either because a lot of it is performance anxiety. And i dont know if that will be the same with my next partner.
But sometimes i think its really important to do the hard 90 and then maybe longer aswell and sometimes i think it wouldnt be that bad if i masturbated 1 time per month.

Death Trap

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Re: My recovery. PIED and lack of motiviation
« Reply #33 on: March 28, 2017, 11:45:26 AM »
Oh shit, I spent some time in France too. Are you in a French language school? If so, that is the ideal place to meet girls to sleep with.

NoFapValentine

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Re: My recovery. PIED and lack of motiviation
« Reply #34 on: March 28, 2017, 03:18:18 PM »
The school is really small we are 4 people in my class and im not interested in them :D and 3 weeks are not a lot of time.. And i dont want to sleep with a person i dont know at all. I will have to wait until im back in germany again.

Death Trap

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Re: My recovery. PIED and lack of motiviation
« Reply #35 on: March 29, 2017, 08:16:43 AM »
Yeah, German girls are nice, but so are French ones.

One thing I noticed, is that you said you were doing Kegels naked, and started edging. I assume these were the extreme kegels, in which you need to be hard in order to use your dick to lift a weighted object like a towel. Let me give one piece of advice on this, if I could: you need to get hard to do these, but you should not regard doing so as masturbating. You are "working up an erection", not masturbating. Have that mindset as you go about getting hard; you are not having a good time.

NoFapValentine

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Re: My recovery. PIED and lack of motiviation
« Reply #36 on: March 29, 2017, 09:04:15 AM »
No i did the normal ones, i think my PC musculature is not that good. But idk i just enjoy being naked since im doing my reboot. I just kinda provocated it, because if im doing kegels i get a bit hard after a few minutes. I might do it wrong though, no idea :D

Dont oyu think its bad for your reboot if you try to get an erection? isnt that kind of edging?
and what do you mean by working up an erection? Isnt this problematic if you are doing hardmode? Are extreme kegels even 'allowed' in a reboot? :D

Death Trap

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Re: My recovery. PIED and lack of motiviation
« Reply #37 on: March 29, 2017, 11:00:32 AM »
By working up an erection, I mean getting hard without feeling good in the process, and certainly not by using fantasy. It's a strange thing, but you can like focus on the the color of the wall, or whatever. Or, if you want to do extreme kegels, you can just wait until you get a spontaneous erection during the day, and then do them. As far as whether or not these harm the reboot, who knows?

NoFapValentine

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Re: My recovery. PIED and lack of motiviation
« Reply #38 on: March 29, 2017, 11:25:20 AM »
Sorry i dont understand anything right now :D
Working up an erection = forcing an erection? Or is it just getting an erection by touching= "normal" getting an erection?
But by touching it would be bad in the reboot.

Do you think this working up an erection is bad?

And am i not allowed to phanatasize sexually during my reboot? Or just no porn phantasies? So if i phantasize about a friend I have is this bad or ok?


Ok, but i think ill stick to normal kegels right now

NoFapValentine

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Re: My recovery. PIED and lack of motiviation
« Reply #39 on: March 30, 2017, 04:46:21 PM »
Im having a really hard time falling asleep since a fee days. ( höhö ambivalent) it takes me 60-90 mins since i go to bed. I always end up with some kind of edging which is probably pretty bad for the reboot, because it is kinda close to MO. And Im 44 days in. Might make sense to Mo 1 time and then do another 45 days? Also i didnt have a wetdream in 2 weeks i feel like i have to release.

What do you think about it?

Death Trap

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Re: My recovery. PIED and lack of motiviation
« Reply #40 on: April 03, 2017, 10:45:23 AM »
I think fantasizing is fine, but as with all things, don't overdo it (like, don't sit there and do it for an hour or something). And certainly don't fantasize about porn; fantasize about real girls/women.

By "working up an erection", I mean, touch yourself until you get hard, but don't have a good time doing it. It's an ironic phrase, but if you can do it, it does work. At any rate, since you don't need to get hard to do kegels, just do them regularly.

Now, when are you going back to Germany? Do you have a girl you can hook up with lined up? If you've been having erectile dysfunction with girls (in your teenage years...), I would advise you to stop edging/mastrubating at all--and then just wait until you can get with a girl.

NoFapValentine

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Re: My recovery. PIED and lack of motiviation
« Reply #41 on: April 03, 2017, 03:49:24 PM »
But where is the line? When is it Fantasizing about porn and when about real girls? :D If I know them? Or if it's not love?

Aaah now i understand. I get myself hard through touching, but im not really aroused, right?

10 more days. No not really, but I plan to go out and hope to find someone. I want to get to know new people and then this should come together.

Yes, I have/had PIED and/with PA. Yes I will stop edging by now.

Buuuut: Last week I decided to MO. Completely without Imagination. Because the night before i couldnt fall asleep for over 3 hours where i also edged and almost watched pornsubs. The same happened the nights before. Thats why i told myself i need to do this now. I didnt even have urges to watch porn, just to masturbate. And I didnt want the urge to masturbate lead to porn. Did the deed and it didnt even feel that great. immediatly after the O I felt lonely and a bit weird. 'why did i do this, I didnt really enjoy this that much that its worth endangering my next sexual experience with a real person'. And i wrote down how i felt after. I don't have the Temptation to do this again soon.
But I want to have a healthy relationship with my sexuality and Since there was no artificial stimulation involved... It was a good experience, now I know that im not missing out.^^


Do or die

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Re: My recovery. PIED and lack of motiviation
« Reply #42 on: April 08, 2017, 11:56:52 PM »
What do you guys think about: thinking of sexual stuff or dreaming about sexual stuff? Im on day 17 or Smth and i didnt have a wet dream yet, but i had some sexual dreams and today when i woke up, i tried to sleep again to be in the sexual dream again haha. I was also hard, but im not sure if that counts as morning wood^^
Is stuff like this allowed or is it bad for my reboot?
sexual dreams are just showing your sexual desiers  ....and its okay to have such type of dreams ....and to avoid wet dreams sleep early and wake up early
Doing real reboot i.e: reboot without relapsing.from 30 nov 2017