This is about self improvement and that is all there is to it. If it is not, then why do it?

T

TheRealProof

Member
The main reason we go through all this crap and high seas is to improve the image we have painted for so long, pick up the brush and paint a better version of ourselves. Show ourselves and the world, God and the Saints that mistakes are temporary. That no matter how hard we get hit, we can get up and fight back.
Fucking pointless if all you'll get out of this journey is a rock hard penis and nothing more to show for it.
It is therefore with this in mind that i have decided to abandon my other journal and start afresh.
I spent the other night drunk off my as and stoned retarded, smoked endless cigarettes and today I've done nothing other than sleep and cough my lungs out. Am one stupid son of a bitch when it comes to drugs and alcohol.
Tough shit.
So am starting this journey NO PMO, NO ALCOHOL NO SMOKING WEED/ TOBACCO AND NO SHITTING MYSELF.
i slip on any of the above and its back to day 1.
here goes it all
 
T

TheRealProof

Member
DAY 1

its a fresh start and although i feel utterly depressed and discouraged since i had made quite some progress on the last streak, i know its the right course of action..
Am still hangover and a little confused from the tons of alcohol and marijuana i used yesterday but it will wear off eventually
 
N

Numez

Guest
im also struggling with weed and alcohol. im not big pot head so mainly alcohol.

i see your frustration and depression. exactly how i feel except the fact that my last streak is so far so good.
 
T

TheRealProof

Member
DAY 2

all the energy i got from no fap has disappeared. Am completely exhausted and even waking up early is becoming a chore.
I have destroyed something good.
 
T

TheRealProof

Member
Day 2 is about to end. Am feeling like a bag of piss. I dont even know why.
One thing i have discovered about myself is that my interest in porn is nonexistent while am sober. Am just addicted to writing music, reading books, listening to music and trying different kinds of food..
Am not so social so i have fun by myself and its ok. The problem comes with intoxication then FAPFAPFAP!! BAAM!! i lose progress.
i have to stay sober.
Day 3 here i comee
 
N

Numez

Guest
but staying sober can be as hard as not masturbating. and its hard also because it does not officially count as relapse like eyeballing some explicit material while masturbating.
 
T

TheRealProof

Member
Nikola i know staying sober is tough but so was quitting porn. At some point i thought id never be able to quit but right now it seems like something achievable.
 
T

TheRealProof

Member
DAY 4
I have been feeling lost and hopeless since yesterday. My life is shit, i destroyed my own future, took a degree in something i absolutely hate and failed, and well.. fuck my life man
 
N

Numez

Guest
TheRealProof said:
DAY 4
I have been feeling lost and hopeless since yesterday. My life is shit, i destroyed my own future, took a degree in something i absolutely hate and failed, and well.. fuck my life man
Click to expand...
just the way i feel sometimes, i guess its good sign if its drop of dopamine and other bs going on in the brain during reboot.
 
T

TheRealProof

Member
Yeah. Our brains need loads of dopamine since porn gave us nonstop stimulation and during the reboot we get very little hence the depression
 
T

TheRealProof

Member
DAY 5

Still going strong. Not much reactions downstairs but all in all am not that eager to get some.
Moodless
Still feel like crap
Grateful am still pushing.

am about to change shifts and go home Till tomorrow. Soo... Am gonna write music maybe, go for a walk, tell my neighbour to go fuck himself and probably get a black eye.

bless.
 
T

TheRealProof

Member
DAY 6

Mood change efrom dark to midnight dark
flashbacks of all those time i did inappropriate shit
hopeless

Bright side ; Not relased yet
 
T

TheRealProof

Member
DAY 8
Had two wet dreams last night and it sapped all the energy i had. Am scared. Spent the whole day in bed today, asleep. I have slept for 16hrs straight.
I just woke up and am miserable.
 
N

Numez

Guest
TheRealProof said:
DAY 8
Had two wet dreams last night and it sapped all the energy i had. Am scared. Spent the whole day in bed today, asleep. I have slept for 16hrs straight.
I just woke up and am miserable.
Click to expand...
2 wet dreams in one night? or sex dreams?
 
T

TheRealProof

Member
Nikola Numez said:
TheRealProof said:
DAY 8
Had two wet dreams last night and it sapped all the energy i had. Am scared. Spent the whole day in bed today, asleep. I have slept for 16hrs straight.
I just woke up and am miserable.
Click to expand...
2 wet dreams in one night? or sex dreams?
Click to expand...
wet dreams man. Had to change twice on the same night
 
in_persuit_of_unfappyness

in_persuit_of_unfappyness

Member
hello guys,
I'm new here.
I got to know about and then have accepted that I am addicted to Masturbation. I want to turn my life a one hundred eighty degrees and start to live, well, a less miserable and pathetic life.
Can I join you guys?

-Neo
 
T

TheRealProof

Member
in_persuit_of_unfappyness said:
hello guys,
I'm new here.
I got to know about and then have accepted that I am addicted to Masturbation. I want to turn my life a one hundred eighty degrees and start to live, well, a less miserable and pathetic life.
Can I join you guys?

-Neo
Click to expand...
Ofcourse yes. welcome to the forum my friend. You might consider starting your own journal and we will keep checking on each others progress.
We can do this.
 
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