Falling Forward

Hey guys,

  I'm 21. Just got married a little over a year ago. I started m when I was in 2nd grade. Then I started using p in 6th grade. I quit p in 11th grade, but continued m. Then after I graduated highschool I relapsed and it started all over again until I got married last year. After I got married, I told myself it wasn't an option anymore. I work for a company that has a very busy season during NOV-JAN so that stressful time last year was when I relapsed. I've been fighting all year long and it's getting worse. I'm losing more battles than I am winning. I watched the video about your brain on porn and I realized so much of that video is true in my life.

  This is my commitment to you guys. I will reboot. I may fall, but I will fall forward because each day is a new day and a new battle along the road to rebooting. I'm rebooting for my self, my wife, and my God.

(Day 1 of 365)

Okay so my wife is home from work today. That keeps me accountable, but she stepped out for a dentist appointment a few minutes ago. I'm feeling tempted so I decided to write in the journal. I think I'll go play some videogames or something to distract me. Boredom always tends to lead me down the road of relapse. You guys are what keeps me going. I gotta do this. Pushing on toward the mark!

(Day 2 of 365)

Home by myself today. Went to go play some video games on the computer, but they needed updates. SO then the boredom kicked in and I'm sitting at the computer. Really want to watch p. Instead, I'm writing in my journal. Hopefully going to leave my house soon and go to my parents for dinner. That should make things easier. Once the update is done, I'll head over ( I don't want to turn off the computer mid-update ) and I'll just play later tonight. I've really been enjoying "Player Unknown's Battlegrounds" and I just watched an awesome trailer for Star Citizen. I like when game devs challenge the status quo with stuff like this. Alright guys, I'm feeling better already. Peace!

(Day 3 of 365)

Feeling tempted right now. Wife is going to bed, I know I can get away with p. For the sake of a better sex life and being a better man, I won't give in! I can do this!

(Day 4 of 365)

hell yeah man! And don't worry, it won't always be a fight to not view porn. For me, past day 20ish, it stopped even entering into my mind that I would want to PMO. So stay strong! It gets easier!

Jack Can said:

hell yeah man! And don't worry, it won't always be a fight to not view porn. For me, past day 20ish, it stopped even entering into my mind that I would want to PMO. So stay strong! It gets easier!

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Hey Jack Can, still doing good. Sex w/ the wife last night helped release all the tension that's been building the past few days. Hardly thought about P or M at all today. Usually I can make it about a week and then I get hit really hard with a lot of temptation. I think if I fill up my calendar with stuff to do, I can stay busy and keep from boredom. Boredom always tends to lead me to P & M. Thanks for the encouragement!

(Day 7 of 365)

Felling pretty good. Still no P/M and it's already been almost 2 weeks. Trying to stay busy, hanging out with friends, playing video games, etc. etc. I am so glad to be on this journey and finally making some progress again.  8)

(Day 13 of 365)

Good work, man. I?m at day 15 right now and am trying to stay busy too! Boredom is definitely a vice that leads to relapse. Keep up the good work.

Nofap901 said:

Good work, man. I?m at day 15

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Thanks for the encouragement Nofap901, keep up the good work yourself! It looks like we both started our journeys at the begining of November. I'm bored right now and I'm feeling tempted. I am sick at the moment so there isnt much I can do except lay around. Still, thinking of how far I've come, I don't want to trade it all in for a stupid p binge that will leave me feeling worse.

(Day 16 of 365)

Today was a bad day. Im going to start off by telling you guys that I messed up and m'd to p. I'm the one to blame, I dont want to make excuses. But I'll learn from this mistake and keep on fighting. I'm still sick, and today SUCKED at work. I've been in a bad mood and fighting with the wife for a few days now. Feeling really down and depressed. We went to see a movie tonight, but her friend went too and they were sold out so I gave her my ticket and went home. So I was sitting at home bored, angry, hungry, and lonely. I started out just beating around the bush and messing around on the computer. I stopped myself and said okay I'll jist go m and get the temptation out of my system. Then instead I grabbed my cell phone, uninstalled my p blocker and had an hour p binge. I feel horrible. I am really disappointed in myself. I need encouragement guys..

Also, I forgot to mention that I logged in to reboot nation to post about the temptarion and then just logged out and chose to binge. I don't like how I just turned away like that from the thing that has been so helpful.

(Day 1 of 365)

So today I am feeling really tempted. I've been good since my relapse except for a few minor glaces and peaks at stuff I shouldn't be looking at. Def. not any Ming to P though. Just thought I'd make a post again, it's been over a week since my last post...actually almost 2 weeks now. Trying to concentrate on school work and stuff. Applied for a promotion at work, really hoping I get that. I wish I was a better husband. I'm trying to love my wife like I love myself and that's really hard to do.

(Day 11 of 365)

Mr_LLAMA said:

So today I am feeling really tempted. I've been good since my relapse except for a few minor glaces and peaks at stuff I shouldn't be looking at. Def. not any Ming to P though. Just thought I'd make a post again, it's been over a week since my last post...actually almost 2 weeks now. Trying to concentrate on school work and stuff. Applied for a promotion at work, really hoping I get that. I wish I was a better husband. I'm trying to love my wife like I love myself and that's really hard to do.

(Day 11 of 365)

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Hey man, keep your head up and push through those temptations. It's tempting to look at pics and what not, but it will lead you down a slippery slope. NoFap will allow you to live a better life and constantly grow! You can do it bro.

All I wanted to do was take a nap. I got home from work exhausted and laid down in bed. Then I couldn't stop thinking about P and got a really strong erection. I kept trying to ignore it, and then finally I told myself I would go M to sexy clothed women. That was a stupid mistake and I know that its the same thing and the same chemicals and it sets me back. Then it didn't last long either and just turned into Ming to P. Thankfully this wasn't a binge, but I still failed. Back to day 1. I WILL DO BETTER. Nofap901 thanks for the encouragement dude. I'm sorry I messed up. I fell crappy.

(Day 1 of 365)

Hey man. It's easy to justify PMO with ourselves, but don't do it. Urges aren't a bad thing, but instead should be considered triggers to do something productive. Even meditating, working out, or doing something positive are great things to do. You'll learn from it, good luck bro!

Masturbation & orgasm will always take you back to porn.
Masturbation & orgasms is not good.
Masturbation/orgasms is inward flow of energy, means isolation.
Relationships/real sex is outward flow of energy means bonds & friendship
Real love heals wounds too.

Hey guys,

  I haven't posted in a while. It's been a fight all year and I wouldn't really say I am winning. It's come to the point now where I can go all week and then I mess up with P and M on the weekends after my wife goes to bed. I've been stuck in this cycle for atleast 3 or 4 months now. I'm going to start writing again.

(Day 1 of 365)

For some reason I haven't been journaling like I'm supposed too. Then yesterday I started to watch P, but stopped myself. And same thing tonight. I would consider these losses, but atleast it's better than a binge that leaves me feeling horrible.

I don't have an excuse. I should have been journaling this week. Same thing happened tonight as last week. I stopped myself and I'm going to bed. I need to keep writing daily.