Hi everyone. I'm 22, from Nairobi Kenya. I've been watching porn since high school and was sexually active by 18. I was great in bed, but last towards the end of last year my performance started to decline. I had no clue about porn addiction whatsoever and I even shrugged it off when my girlfriend brought it up. I first had ED in February this year, after which I looked it up and found that it was porn induced. Of course I decided to quit and while it wasn't easy, I was making some progress. However, a few months later, I had a series of very unfortunate events. Breaking up with my girlfriend, getting robbed on my birthday, I couldn't find work so I was broke. I felt like I had a dark cloud over my head. I didn't have family to support me cause they sort of abandoned me, and I didn't have anyone close enough to feel comfortable telling this. So I plunged into depression, and weed, alcohol and PMO became my coping mechanism. I lost sight of my goals, stopped working out, detached from people. I became really miserable and the fact that I had ED really damaged my confidence, despite many girls approaching me. A few months back some really sexy girl came into my life, and I decided to open up to her and told he about my PIED. She didn't care that I had PIED and encouraged me to get better, and I did improve for a while. But I slipped back into depression, again because of circumstances, and betrayal by a very close friend and even my own brother. I'm tired of living like this. Porn has taken away my confidence, my drive, my vision, my ambition, my sex life and even damaged my ability to connect to others to some extent. I PMOd last night, and even this morning. Of course, I feel guilty as hell, and feel like I'm not in control of my body or my life. The hardest thing for me is to forgive myself. And after so many times starting over, rebooting started to lose it's meaning, which is why I've decide to join this forum. I know interacting with others who are struggling with the same problem will help my recovery, because you feel a lot stronger knowing that you're not alone. I haven't found a single person in Kenya struggling to overcome porn addiction that I can talk to to give encouragement and be encouraged by, so that comment means A LOT.
This is day one.
This is my life.
I'm getting back in the driver's seat.
This is day one.
This is my life.
I'm getting back in the driver's seat.