S
sev_hun
Guest
Hey everyone,
Just registered and wanted to share my story by starting a journal. I am not yet sure, what is actually happening or what ?diagnosis? would be appropriate for the situation I am in but I believe it certainly has something to do with unhealthy porn consumption on the internet. I came across PIED 2 days ago and could immediately feel that this might be the reason for what I experienced lately. Any advice, comments, support, whatsoever is welcome. Not a native English speaker, sorry
I am 27 years old and believe PIED is negatively affecting my sex life. I?ve never had a girlfriend, but had several romantic relationships with women over the course of several weeks/months. Sex has been a minor thing though and I had sex three times in my life. Actual penetration did not last long or did not work. However, intimacy also included hand- and oral sex, which I encountered more often but certainly not on a regular basis. When I orgasmed, it was only by handjobs (?death grip?). For a long time, a girlfriend or romantic relationship was not a big thing in my life and I did not actively made an effort to partner up with someone. I have been living a happy life and still am, bearing in mind the PIED restriction discovered recently. Then about 5 years ago, at the age of 23, I became more invested in the other sex from a romantic/sexual point of view. There were a few women I got closer to and I encountered several sexual moments but also without proper sex (i.e. there was handjob, oral sex, etc. included). I did not quite feel the same stimulation as I did when watching porn. My erection was simply bad, maybe around 70-80%, often less, and I could not relax, trying to force a full erection. Non-surprisingly, that did not work.
I did not enjoy sex ed from my parents but learned the basic things in school and by friends. However, that absolutely did not include perceptions about sex life and what a healthy and realistic sex life is like. I started watching porn at the age of about 16-17. I masturbated before getting in contact with internet porn, which, however, soon took over. For quite a long time, I thought that regular masturbation would help in the end when finding a real partner because I always had stories in my head of young men who came ?too early?. Getting used to masturbation would help me coming later with a woman. It is this false perception about performance that I carried with me quite a long time. Sometimes I would masturbate to porn several times a day, sometimes not for a week but on and off for about 10 years now. I am certainly wired to the feeling of a hand "getting the job done" and probably suffer the death grip syndrome as well. Soft and gentle masturbation was only very rarely a thing. Occasionally I found myself watching weirder and more unrealistic stuff that I deemed disturbing after ejaculation. Then, I would purposely start watching ?softer/more realistic? porn that is less hardcore and less weird but also flicked back to the more extreme videos pretty soon. Even if not often, I did (and sometimes still do) masturbate without porn and noticed two things:
1. It takes longer to climax
2. Orgasm (i.e. the feeling when coming) is often better than by watching porn
Despite the second point, which maybe would encourage to stopping porn consumption, I continued doing so. I guess it was the fast and easy access to porn and the prospect of coming quicker that made masturbating to porn occurring disproportionally more often than without. The longest period of porn and masturbation abstinence were about 6-8 weeks. That was not a conscious decision based on doubts about any erectile dysfunctions but merely a side effect of me being active and spending a lot of time outdoors. It were times when I was travelling/backpacking, mostly hiking. Probably because I was so busy all day, I never felt the urge to watch porn or masturbate.
When meeting women during the last 2 years or so (usually through Tinder) I found myself stopping watching porn a few days in advance of a meetup. I did that because I was subconsciously aware of the effects PMO. However, I did not realise its extent at that time, nor did I know it would even exist. My only (stupid) idea was that if I give my dick a few days off, it will be easier in bed. That obviously disregarded the long-term effects of PMO completely. About two weeks ago, I met another woman whom I find very attractive, we ended up in bed, and of course, I could not get it up. I had a 70-80% erection and there was some hand- and oral-sex. It was then for the first time that I actively thought something is wrong. She is very attractive and I absolutely enjoyed getting physical with her but I just could not get a proper erection. She took it very lightly which I appreciated but I am sure it will not get significantly better within days. That was the starting point for me to getting active on this issue.
The title 70-100 stems from the fact that my boner when with a girl, usually wasn?t much harder than 70%. I am aiming for a full erection without forcing it, looking forward to having a healthy sex life with mutual respect and intimacy, not influenced by PMO anymore
Longer story with some more background info. Happy if you interact. Will probably give weekly rather than daily updates.
Just registered and wanted to share my story by starting a journal. I am not yet sure, what is actually happening or what ?diagnosis? would be appropriate for the situation I am in but I believe it certainly has something to do with unhealthy porn consumption on the internet. I came across PIED 2 days ago and could immediately feel that this might be the reason for what I experienced lately. Any advice, comments, support, whatsoever is welcome. Not a native English speaker, sorry
I am 27 years old and believe PIED is negatively affecting my sex life. I?ve never had a girlfriend, but had several romantic relationships with women over the course of several weeks/months. Sex has been a minor thing though and I had sex three times in my life. Actual penetration did not last long or did not work. However, intimacy also included hand- and oral sex, which I encountered more often but certainly not on a regular basis. When I orgasmed, it was only by handjobs (?death grip?). For a long time, a girlfriend or romantic relationship was not a big thing in my life and I did not actively made an effort to partner up with someone. I have been living a happy life and still am, bearing in mind the PIED restriction discovered recently. Then about 5 years ago, at the age of 23, I became more invested in the other sex from a romantic/sexual point of view. There were a few women I got closer to and I encountered several sexual moments but also without proper sex (i.e. there was handjob, oral sex, etc. included). I did not quite feel the same stimulation as I did when watching porn. My erection was simply bad, maybe around 70-80%, often less, and I could not relax, trying to force a full erection. Non-surprisingly, that did not work.
I did not enjoy sex ed from my parents but learned the basic things in school and by friends. However, that absolutely did not include perceptions about sex life and what a healthy and realistic sex life is like. I started watching porn at the age of about 16-17. I masturbated before getting in contact with internet porn, which, however, soon took over. For quite a long time, I thought that regular masturbation would help in the end when finding a real partner because I always had stories in my head of young men who came ?too early?. Getting used to masturbation would help me coming later with a woman. It is this false perception about performance that I carried with me quite a long time. Sometimes I would masturbate to porn several times a day, sometimes not for a week but on and off for about 10 years now. I am certainly wired to the feeling of a hand "getting the job done" and probably suffer the death grip syndrome as well. Soft and gentle masturbation was only very rarely a thing. Occasionally I found myself watching weirder and more unrealistic stuff that I deemed disturbing after ejaculation. Then, I would purposely start watching ?softer/more realistic? porn that is less hardcore and less weird but also flicked back to the more extreme videos pretty soon. Even if not often, I did (and sometimes still do) masturbate without porn and noticed two things:
1. It takes longer to climax
2. Orgasm (i.e. the feeling when coming) is often better than by watching porn
Despite the second point, which maybe would encourage to stopping porn consumption, I continued doing so. I guess it was the fast and easy access to porn and the prospect of coming quicker that made masturbating to porn occurring disproportionally more often than without. The longest period of porn and masturbation abstinence were about 6-8 weeks. That was not a conscious decision based on doubts about any erectile dysfunctions but merely a side effect of me being active and spending a lot of time outdoors. It were times when I was travelling/backpacking, mostly hiking. Probably because I was so busy all day, I never felt the urge to watch porn or masturbate.
When meeting women during the last 2 years or so (usually through Tinder) I found myself stopping watching porn a few days in advance of a meetup. I did that because I was subconsciously aware of the effects PMO. However, I did not realise its extent at that time, nor did I know it would even exist. My only (stupid) idea was that if I give my dick a few days off, it will be easier in bed. That obviously disregarded the long-term effects of PMO completely. About two weeks ago, I met another woman whom I find very attractive, we ended up in bed, and of course, I could not get it up. I had a 70-80% erection and there was some hand- and oral-sex. It was then for the first time that I actively thought something is wrong. She is very attractive and I absolutely enjoyed getting physical with her but I just could not get a proper erection. She took it very lightly which I appreciated but I am sure it will not get significantly better within days. That was the starting point for me to getting active on this issue.
The title 70-100 stems from the fact that my boner when with a girl, usually wasn?t much harder than 70%. I am aiming for a full erection without forcing it, looking forward to having a healthy sex life with mutual respect and intimacy, not influenced by PMO anymore
Longer story with some more background info. Happy if you interact. Will probably give weekly rather than daily updates.