4 YEARS PMO FREE! - 5 tips to SUCCESS!! - MUST READ! (updated)

Supersonic

Member
NOW I AM FREE!

I failed many many times, never making it too far, and usually
relapsing at couple of days, weeks, or a month.
But this time it worked.

I do not want to get into "my story" because it is full of triggers and it is very long.

I just want to share what worked for me.
I was 24 ( just about to turn 25) when I started this journey.
Now it is 4 years later (I updated the text haha).
I'm glad to say I won this war for good - the rest of my life.


THIS IS THE BEST ADVICE I COULD GIVE TO MY YOUNGER SELF,
and I suppose also to MANY OF YOU.



So here it is, my 5 TIPS TO SUCCESS:


1)

MOST IMPORTANT REALIZATION: your time here is LIMITED

   
        We are only young for a short period of time! LIVE A GREAT AWESOME LIFE !
                YOUTH IS FLEETING, If you haven't noticed by now, time runs FAST! Man it really does!

                  THE TIME IS NOW! WHEN WE GET OLDER LET THERE BE NO REGRET
                      REALLY THE SADDEST OF ALL EMOTIONS!

                        LIVE: FULLY, CONFIDENTLY, PURELY ;  BE DISCIPLINED, FIGHT FOR GOOD,
                            DENY THE BAD, BE FOREVER WATCHFUL , BE VICTORIOUS , BE FREE, PURE,
                              HEALTHY, BRIGHT AND LOVE ALL THAT IS GOOD!


                                  JUST LIKE THAT 2 MORE YEARS WILL PASS BY. IF YOU ARE UNDER 25 YOU PROBABLY DON'T EVEN KNOW IT.
                                      THAT'S WHY IM TELLING YOU.
                                          IN YOUR LATE 20s YOU WILL DISCOVER YEARS PASS BY LIKE THEY WERE MONTHS!

                                              YOU DON'T HAVE THE TIME TO PLAY AROUND WITH THIS! YOU GOTTA BE SERIOUS ABOUT IT.




2)

THE FOUNDATIONAL QUESTION:


HOW BAD IS IT TO RELAPSE JUST 1 MORE TIME?

OUR MINDS WORK VERY SUBTLY,
AND LET ME REVEAL THE BIGGEST TRICK YOUR MIND PULLS ON YOU:
YOUR MIND BACKWARDS RATIONALIZES , - IT MAKES EXCUSES TO JUSTIFY DOING THINGS THAT YOU WANT TO DO, EVEN THOUGH IT IS ACTUALLY BAD TO DO IT!!

So, when the urges hit you strong, you MAKE IT OK in your head, and only afterwards do you realize OH NO, THAT WAS A BAD IDEA!

This types of tricks that your mind plays on you are MANY MANY! Some of them are:

* "Ah, I'll just do it this time.. I've done it many times before, this is just 1 more time.. let me just do it now, and sometime later I will really stop.. etc.. "

* " I had a good run, nothing bad happens if I relapse now, my progress is still not destroyed.."

* " I have to do it, to release the tension.. , it''s healthy to do it.."

* " The pleasure is worth it .. "

* "Ah just do it" - and let your mind go blank

* "Everybody does it.. "

ALL OF THE ABOVE ARE LIES! - Tricks - and there are million other tricks with which you trick yourself.

So, the one THING that will really really get you to realize the KEY TO SUCCESS is THE ANSWER TO THIS 1 QUESTION:
     
      1 RELAPSE.      Can't be that bad right?        Just 1 RELAPSE.      What, is it that bad ??


THE ANSWER:

      1 RELAPSE = creates a spiral of 1 relapses , where you can not stop! Because you always justify it as just 1 relapse. 
        1 RELAPSE = CAN LEAD TO YEARS OF ADDITIONAL STRUGGLE!
         
        1 relapse is not just 1 relapse. It is a bundle of 1 relapses and  IT CAN  WASTE YOU YEARS!

   
  1 RELAPSE = it destroys much of your progress. It is wasting time. it will take weeks or months to get back to that level.
                          And it may happen again and again.
                              Time is the most precious thing you got!!!! AND IT IS LIMITED!!!!

                                          TIME IS THE KEY! IT RUNS FAST!
                           
                1 relapse is all it takes to waste years repeating the same mistake..
                        Let's say our best years are from 18 - 35 (in terms of energy, dating, life excitement, building character...)
                            So many young men TODAY flush all of their best years down the toilet! Don't "ENJOY STUPIDLY" YOU ARE DIGGING A HOLE! STOP!
                   
          TREASURE YOUR LIFE! TREASURE YOUR TIME! 
                1 RELAPSE = THAT IS What this is all about. Just take care of that 1! DO NOT DO IT!





3)

RULES TO OBEY


So the first 2 points are about understanding the "HARSHNESS" and REALITY of TIME and ACTIONS.

3rd point is WHAT YOU MUST KNOW AND DO TO GET YOUR SELF UNDER CONTROL.

MEDITATE ON EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THIS POINTS! THIS WILL DETERMINE YOUR SUCCESS


1) SEXUAL CURIOSITY (on internet) IS NOT ALLOWED TO BE ACTED UPON!

There is a reason I put this rule No.1 ! - Internet world is FULL of TRIGGERS.
Many times it start with some small trigger - a simple picture that is just a bit too revealing, and then it spirals and spirals until you are overpowered by lust and go "crazy".

"Let me look just a little" is NOT ALLOWED! Don't blame yourself for being curious but don't go down that road either.
Ignore it and put it out of your mind. Do this repeatedly if you have to.

(My personal tip is also this, you may or may not find it helpful:
imagine that you physically grab the lustful thought which you want to eliminate with your hand and throw it out and then burn it or something -
do this with some intensity and moving your hands and even perhaps using your voice)

Practicing this rule will make your mind stop being curious about those things automatically 
after you've successfully done it a couple of times.

And that is already what will be a great accomplishment!

Also,
THIS IS A FOREVER RULE. EVEN AFTER WEEKS , MONTHS, YEARS,  even when you are "HEALTHY" ,
acting on your lustful curiosity may DESTROY your progress quickly!!!

This decisions are LIFETIME decisions!

NEVER DO ANY CLICK ON YOUR COMPUTER THAT IS IN THE SLIGHTEST DIRECTION TO PORN.
The little clicks of curious wondering are deadly. Don't! Deny it. Just ignore your curiosity. Let it go.

And testing to see how you respond to porn is really the most DANGEROUS thing you can do. DO NOT DO IT!


2) When you feel the smallest LUST / TEMPTATION TO PMO IMMEDIATELY DENY IT! SAY NO!  
Say it with POWER! ACTUALLY Imagine those dark forces inside you and  throwing that lustful ugly feelings out!!! SERIOUSLY!
You will never beat porn if you don't do the difficult!  Deny it!
This is YOU, YOUR LIFE, wake up! Be STRONG!  If you do that you will WIN the battle every single time!

And THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ABOUT ALL OF THIS IS, WITH GOING AGAINST YOUR SELF - AGAINST YOUR
"BAD DESIRES" AND CHOOSING BETTER THINGS, YOU WILL CHANGE YOURSELF A LITTLE BIT.

YOU WILL BECOME ONE DEGREE MORE OF WHO YOU WANT TO BE.
In time you change so much, PMO is the furthest thing from your mind.

I am an example of that.

3) CATCH THE TEMPTATION EARLY! IMMEDIATELY!! GET INTO A NEW MIND-STATE

This one may be the most important one! 
This is how it works. It starts as a small desire, then it sits in your head and in your body and it gains in power.

THIS ONE IS SOOOO IMPORTANT. If you are too late,  porn will overpower you.

The urges will build , DO NOT LET THAT HAPPEN. RE-FOCUS your thoughts. RE-EVALUATE your life plan.

DO SOMETHING. GO OUTSIDE. A walk, or jogging or prayer or cold shower or call a friend etc. Wash "bad thoughts" off of you.
Fight them. If you want to be free, you will have to prove it!

If you have small porn desires and you allow them to be there, then you don't want to get rid of porn strong enough.
That is like allowing a lion around sheep just because a lion is currently sleeping.. NO WAY!

4.) DONT JUSTIFY DOING IT.

If you decided to not do that, don't do it. NO JUSTIFYING! EVER! If you
fail you will regret it.  There is no one final time to do it. There is no comparing yourself to
others.. there is no "this temptation is too strong" .. NOTHING! JUST DON'T DO IT.

Strongly decide to never do it, and your mind won't even go there. -
that is biggest SURPRISE REALIZATION I had when I started this journey!
It is like, if you found out that you are seriously allergic to some food,
after that you DO NOT THINK ABOUT IT.
You just don't eat it. And it's not even a problem.

This one is soooo snekay. Your mind will tell you well you can start this no porn thing at some other time again..
And many other tricks. Really just become aware of your thoughts and feelings and realize you are often
subconscioulsy JUSTIFYING things you WANT but logically know that are BAD.



5)  FORGET AND IGNORE WHAT YOU ARE FIGHTING AGAINST, WHEN THERE IS NO TEMPTATION

JUST LIKE IF YOU DON'T HAVE AN ADDICTION TO HARD DRUGS. YOU WONT REALLY BE THINKING ABOUT THEM TOO MUCH.
BUT THERE ARE STRONG DECISIONS INSIDE OF YOU THAT YOU KNOW YOU WON'T DO THEM IF YOU EVER HAD THE CHANCE.

IGNORE THE BAD. REDIRECT YOUR THOUGHTS.

If case of dreams and images and thoughts
hitting us , do not dwell on them, but simply sort of push them aside and ignore them.
Immediately take a deep breath and direct your attention elsewhere.


6) READ YOUR LIST OF RULES REGULARLY!
READ AND RE-READ AND RECOMMIT TO THE PROCESS! Internalize the "rules".
Honestly after a while, you will not have to think about them or re-read or anything.. You will internalize them rather quickly.




4)

BONUS TIPS:



REMEMBER YOUR PAST. REMEMBER WHAT FAILURE DOES! HOW BAD YOU FELT! WRITE IT DOWN!
We are so quick to forget! Please do that! Don't be reminded at a relapse. Be forewarned.

One of the problems is , in the heated moments you may not want porn lust to leave you - because it feels good.
BUT IT CAN LEAVE IF YOU WANT it to leave and DECIDE to battle it out!

If you wait, the feeling will overwhelm you in time and you will be powerless.
The only way is to SAY NO EARLY EARLY EALRY!!!

And it helps to say NO if you know WHY you have to say NO. This is it. Have the reasons in your mind.
Because once the strong temptation hits, they will not be found in your head, unless you have them prepared in advance.



WHEN THE URGES HIT,  THINK ONLY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS AFTER YOU RELAPSE
  YOU ARE LOST AND DEFEATED
AND YOU LOSE POWER , LOSE CONFIDENCE ETC.

SO CHANGE IT!  1 HOUR later, you'll be smiling and be happy that you did not relapse.

Don't look back 5 years from now in utter defeat.  DON'T DO IT. That is the only key to success. DO NOT DO IT.


RECORD YOUR BENEFITS OF SUCCESS
There will be many.


NO EXCUSES! You are choosing between REGRET and VICTORY!

You can do it.

The past experiences have brainwashed us into thinking
it's harder than it actually is. We remember failing, but don't remember
that we could easily have chosen not to do it. This is 100% within your control
.


HAVE CONFIDENCE :)



5)

LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST



This is NUMBER 1 reason I am where I am.

I wanted to do EVIL.  But God helped me. The Word of God anchors me. And I can not be shaken as easily as before.

God takes your heart and purifies it, cleanses it, and gives you a new heart.

Do not look at other people, supposed Christians and then judge Christ or God based on them. None of the Christians represents Christ as they should because none is perfect. But not only that VAST majority of "Christians" are NOT even Christians. Read the NEW TESTAMENT - 4 GOSPELS (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John). Or just read 1 Gospel (It's like 30 pages) IT IS SHORT! BUT IT CONTAINS LIFE! After reading that, you will see what it means to be a Christian. It is LOVE , HOLINESS, OBEDIENCE, PURITY... AND THE PEACE AND THE JOY YOU WILL RECEIVE WILL BE DELICIOUS.

Turning to God in prayer,
turning to Jesus,
HE LIVES. He actually LIVES!

It is always our free will,
and He always receives
the humble, and sincere
.


IF you seek, you WILL find.

If you ask you will receive.

What it means to seek and to ask is to do it SINCERELY , HUMBLY , and WITH FAITH !!!


I love beatitudes, found in the Gospel of Matthew:

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness,for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful, for they shall be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

I personally testify , that God LOVES us, and that he is willing to help, BUT , under HIS CONDITIONS! Not our own.  We are FREE to listen to the EVIL or to GOD. We can do whatever we want. IN THE END WE WILL REAP 10000 fold of what WE SOWED in our flesh.

Some people say "no way, then why is there evil in the world if God exists."  HE GAVE US FREE WILL! WE CAN DO EVIL IF WE WANT. ALSO, THE DEVIL RULES THIS WORLD RIGHT NOW! IT's all in the bible. It's all in those 30 pages of the gospel! World hates God, and they make believers seem ignorant when they themselves haven't even understood the basics of the Gospel and go attack it.

Just know, in the end every single individual will be judged FAIRLY! According to the situation he lived in. IT WILL ALL BE FAIR.
AND SPIRITUALLY PORN IS A DARK, DEMONIC FORCE.

search youtube for Paul Washer, Tim Conway, ... and many others.. , then go into prayer mode :)


THIS IS A SPIRITUAL BATTLE YOU GUYS!

I actually had a dream once where I was looking from the screen of the computer to the face
of some boy who was watching porn (so I saw his face and the background behind him).
And in the back there was this 1 meter big shadowy but also real spider
representing demonic force - demon feeding from this boy's lust.
I felt the spider's EVIL powers and
his luring power - causing this boy to lust - I felt this UGLY energy to the inner-most my stomach!

I cant really explain it and I don't understand it completely but stay far away from it.

WISH YOU ALL THE BEST!
 
M

Mart71

Guest
I am happy for you, that you found recovery and a way that worked for you.

I might want to add, that it is in my opinion not helpful to see PMO and masturbation as "evil". They may be in your believe system, which you are entitled to have and which I don't claim to be right or wrong. But thinking about this in terms of evil and guilt will imo not help someone who is already struggling with the addictive nature of porn abuse and who does not live by the moral system of sin etc. It will make them feel unnecessarily even more bad about the whole thing, which hinders recovery.

 

fugu

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Hey man, I read this on YBR but just want to say that this is great and I'm happy for you. Way to go!

- Charlie
 

Supersonic

Member
Mart71 said:
I am happy for you, that you found recovery and a way that worked for you.

Thanks!

Mart71 said:
I might want to add, that it is in my opinion not helpful to see PMO and masturbation as "evil". They may be in your believe system, which you are entitled to have and which I don't claim to be right or wrong. But thinking about this in terms of evil and guilt will imo not help someone who is already struggling with the addictive nature of porn abuse and who does not live by the moral system of sin etc. It will make them feel unnecessarily even more bad about the whole thing, which hinders recovery.

If I wouldn't see PMO as wrong, I wouldn't decide to quit doing it :)
 

Supersonic

Member
OK, so..
I am a christian. I believe in Jesus Christ and that he is Lord and the Savior of the world.  - Thus, I try to obey. AND I CAN TESTIFY that I had experiences that give me FAITH that HE LIVES! He did rise from the dead , and men will be judged according to what we did in our flesh (on this earth).
He that seeketh findeth. - that is sincere prayer , reading the scriptures and obeying his word

We can be cleansed through REPENTANCE and OBEYING HIM.

Jesus doesn't save those who just believe. He saves those who believe and OBEY.
As I struggled in the past I would still PMO and as I read the words of God.. I tried to stop but couldn't.
After turning to Jesus more fully, I was able to OVERCOME.  But only after I truly repented, truly decided to never PMO again and started to obey Jesus more.
But yeah, to tickle the ears of many, I would just say hey whatever you do is OK. Don't worry about it  , it's all good. - AND THAT is the greatest deception EVER!
Our eternity will depend on how we live our lives here and now.

And there is ALWAYS time to return to God, while still here. Jesus is the way, truth, light, life. If only people would say a sincere prayer and seek God in faith, HE WOULD REVEAL HIMSELF TO YOU!

So, yeah, :) , I invite all that read this to pray and to not harden their hearts against God.

And I WISH US ALL to OVERCOME AND BE FREE from the addiction!

Which when Christ saves you , you become FREE INDEED! And again I can testify of that. It happened to me. My addiction was taken away! And before it was taken away I was the ugliest sinner ever! So I know that I got help and lots of help!! And am no better than anyone else. Just got helped! And I would that you would try it for yourself :)
 
R

regis

Guest
I think what you said is right! I'm really glad for you; I wish to become like you! GOD bless you !!!
 

IRoslan

Member
Man, this is inspiring.. I know I can nail this one down. Just need that extra push of willpower!!!

Thanks a lot. Really need this.. really
 

lilnavadaa

Member
:D yay others about the Lord 8) If u read my post I'm afraid that the life after will not be good for me because I cannot stop this ugly horrible powerful sin.. I have hope and I believe that since Jesus died for our sins and I believe in him I am saved but still I'm going through hell because of this sin..

To everyone the last book in the bible Gods shows us that porn was coming and will stay until he destroys it.. the famous prostitute will be drunk off of Gods holy peoples..

"With her the kings of the earth committed adultery and the inhabitants of the earth were intoxicated with the wine of her adulteries." In other versions they will say they practiced adultery with her and call her the famous prostitute.

Read revelations and you'll see.

Therefore in one day her plagues will overtake her.. death mourning and famine. She will be consumed by fire for mighty is the Lord God who judges her.

"Come out of her, my people so that you will not share in her sins so that you will not receive any of her plagues for her sins are piled up to heaven and God has remembered her crimes.

Give back to her as she has given.. pay her back a double portion from her own cup
Give her as much torment and grief as the glory and luxury she gave herself.
In her heart she boasts.

One last verse..
The merchants who sold these things and gained their wealth from her will stand far off, terrified at her torment. They will weep and mourn and cry out..

This is war.

Stay strong fellow brothers this is much more powerful than we originally thought..

Good luck to all and never give up
 

Vincent

Active Member
Thanks.
Especially for the rules. I thikt the part with EXCUSES and JUST ONE MORE RELAPSE THEN I'LL QUIT are the ones best applying to my situation. If I want to stop, I have to stop. My fight, my gain or loss. easy but harsh.
It may happen to often to say, ok, I failes, lets start again. The final step however, is going to be the hardest proving how weak one is. Eventually I can decide to make that step or not.

Although I am not fighting porn, but myself -> the problem is me using it, I really appreciate you sharing this story of success.
 

fightthefight

Active Member
Some good and sobering thoughts here. I have bookmarked this and will be coming back to it again and again when I need a wake up call. I like that you put about Christ being the centre - as a Christian, I think it is right that we make Him the centre of our journey out of this (just as He should be the centre of our lives). The verse, "the pure in heart shall see God" is so special - I was reminded of this yesterday in a video by John Piper. If I let porn cloud my vision, I will no longer be able to see Him! How foolish to trade the most important part of my life for an ounce of pleasure and a 10 pounds of guilt & regret!
 

rider654321

Active Member
Some really great information there Supersonic to remember when things get tough.
Thanks for sharing your tips and success story with us  ;)
 
4 good tips and one bad. Religion has no part of this process. An all powerful god would also have created the porn. Thus thanking him for strength to quit again do not make sense. And Ili, quoting bible verses to condemn porn actresses is not fair or productive. This is your problem.

Rejoice in you strength in defeating a dangerous, life consuming addiction. I can promise you did it yourself!
 

fightthefight

Active Member
MwC, while not wishing to hijack this thread with an argument, you have sort of already done it by rubbishing the last point. You have set up something of a straw man argument by saying God created the porn and ignoring the fact that porn is actually a human creation. Many addiction programmes, most notably AA and all related ones, have belief in a higher power as a core component of their addiction programme. Whether or not you believe, it has clearly been extremely successful for many addicts recovering, so for them, "religion" certainly does have a place!
 

LTE

Administrator
Staff member
Admin
Moderator
For the record: Attacking other members for believing in God or for not believing in God is not allowed at RN. we are all entitled to our opinions, but we need to be careful that our expressions of those opinions are respectful of others.
 

LTE

Administrator
Staff member
Admin
Moderator
lilnavadaa said:
:D yay others about the Lord 8) If u read my post I'm afraid that the life after will not be good for me because I cannot stop this ugly horrible powerful sin.. I have hope that since Jesus died for our sins and I believe in him I am saved but still I'm going through hell because of this sin..

To everyone the last book in the bible Gods shows us that porn was coming and will stay until he destroys it.. the famous prostitute will be drunk off of Gods holy peoples..

"With her the kings of the earth committed adultery and the inhabitants of the earth were intoxicated with the wine of her adulteries." In other versions they will say they practiced adultery with her and call her the famous prostitute.

God will punish all these porn actresses for what they have done to us.

Read revelations and you'll see.

Therefore in one day her plagues will overtake her.. death mourning and famine. She will be consumed by fire for mighty is the Lord God who judges her.

"Come out of her, my people so that you will not share in her sins so that you will not receive any of her plagues for her sins are piled up to heaven and God has remembered her crimes.

Give back to her as she has given.. pay her back a double portion from her own cup
Give her as much torment and grief as the glory and luxury she gave herself.
In her heart she boasts.

One last verse..
The merchants who sold these things and gained their wealth from her will stand far off, terrified at her torment. They will weep and mourn and cry out..

This is war.

Stay strong fellow brothers this is much more powerful than we originally thought..

Good luck to all and never give up
With full respect for your opinions, I tend to differ regarding the harlot of Revelation. I have always thought it to be the forces that direct worship away from the True God, the Creator of all things.

While some porn actresses are indeed brazen prostitutes intent on exploiting their sexuality for gain there are many, many cases of women forced into porn acting by coercion. Human trafficking is common and many a divorced mom has had to dance to pay the bills only to find herself forced into prostitution and porn acting by the people that hold the pursestrings in her life. These are real situations.

One of the most famous and notorious porn actresses in history claims, and took polygraph tests to substantiate her claims, that her husband had sold her as a prostitute to support her drug habit and that she performed in porn movies at the very real threat of her life, at times with guns at the ready if she did not go through with it. Even though she was nationally famous her entire working career spanned only 17 days and it destroyed the rest of her life. Even though she had been out of the industry for decades she was fired from jobs as soon as her true identity was discovered. By this point she was married, a Christian and a mother, but she still had problems because of something she didn't even do willingly.

Prostitutes are much the same story, in many cases. Human trafficking is rampant and women forced into prostitution have little, if any, legal protection. If they try to report to the police that they are being forced into prostitution chances are that they will be the one arrested, not the (literal) slave traders that force them into this situation.

As far as forgiveness is concerned; remember, we are in forgiven for our sins because of Christ's sacrifice. So are other's including people with checkered pasts. One of Jesus female ancestors was Rahab, a former harlot. Don't judge anyone more harshly than you would want to be judged yourself.
 
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