Hello, guys
First I'd like to thank you so much for keeping alive this sake. You are strong, real people! Thanks for everyone supporting and sharing experiences here.
Now I can go on with my story:
I'm a 22 years old undergraduate student from Brasil (for that, sorry the bad english), I am single and I've been strugling with porn since my 12 yo aproximately, wen I got the dangerous free and easy access to high speed internet through desktop PC.
I discovered fapping as early as 9 yo, I think. Don't know exactly when I started associating fapping and porn simultaneously. But these two practices always coexisted and led me to each time more deviant and shocking stuff, as I got hooked on my own genitallia and mirror that it has moved me to seek weird things on web, discordant to my sexual orientation (straight). It all has left me down with bad feelings many times. Now I see that I've lost the real happiness that I had in my early childhood, when, curiously, I enjoyed more the real life.
I've always been aware that pmo was harmful behaviour and always tried to stop it, due to my religious background mainly. But I suffered with the lack of tools to appropriately approach this matter untill this week when I had a binge and subsequent bad feelings and found the amazing YBOP. There I understood for the first time that I am porn addicted and my case is one of the well described at the site: intermittent use with lengthy abstinence periods (+-4 weeks to me) and hard cravings that lead to binges.
Man... I must admit it was a shock to me, but a necessary one, cause all the fog about my actual condition seems to be fading away, and reading your recovery stories made me feel that life is worth it and deserves a "major" try. So I decided start my reboot just 3 days ago, one day after the binge. As I told, as an intermittent user, the worse is yet to come the next weeks, but now I have much more tools and I'm feeling fully motivated. I can already see that my rejection of P-subs are more effective. I started taking cold showers too and I'm enjoying this so well.
My goal is get completely rid of pmo for this first 90 days, and surpass the very hard cravings I use to have at 4th or 5th week of abstinence, as an intermittent user. I really want to live the rest of my life without porn/fapping and see what it is like. I want to rebuild my relationship with God and real people, and help them to be best persons.
I'll be doing the reboot hard mode, because I don't want to engage any romantic relationship until I get clean, and I think it would be as well difficult to deal with amid this pandemic.
Well, friends, I hope I've explained it for you, even writing poor english. I'll will be keeping you updated.
Till next time! Thank you very much again.
First I'd like to thank you so much for keeping alive this sake. You are strong, real people! Thanks for everyone supporting and sharing experiences here.
Now I can go on with my story:
I'm a 22 years old undergraduate student from Brasil (for that, sorry the bad english), I am single and I've been strugling with porn since my 12 yo aproximately, wen I got the dangerous free and easy access to high speed internet through desktop PC.
I discovered fapping as early as 9 yo, I think. Don't know exactly when I started associating fapping and porn simultaneously. But these two practices always coexisted and led me to each time more deviant and shocking stuff, as I got hooked on my own genitallia and mirror that it has moved me to seek weird things on web, discordant to my sexual orientation (straight). It all has left me down with bad feelings many times. Now I see that I've lost the real happiness that I had in my early childhood, when, curiously, I enjoyed more the real life.
I've always been aware that pmo was harmful behaviour and always tried to stop it, due to my religious background mainly. But I suffered with the lack of tools to appropriately approach this matter untill this week when I had a binge and subsequent bad feelings and found the amazing YBOP. There I understood for the first time that I am porn addicted and my case is one of the well described at the site: intermittent use with lengthy abstinence periods (+-4 weeks to me) and hard cravings that lead to binges.
Man... I must admit it was a shock to me, but a necessary one, cause all the fog about my actual condition seems to be fading away, and reading your recovery stories made me feel that life is worth it and deserves a "major" try. So I decided start my reboot just 3 days ago, one day after the binge. As I told, as an intermittent user, the worse is yet to come the next weeks, but now I have much more tools and I'm feeling fully motivated. I can already see that my rejection of P-subs are more effective. I started taking cold showers too and I'm enjoying this so well.
My goal is get completely rid of pmo for this first 90 days, and surpass the very hard cravings I use to have at 4th or 5th week of abstinence, as an intermittent user. I really want to live the rest of my life without porn/fapping and see what it is like. I want to rebuild my relationship with God and real people, and help them to be best persons.
I'll be doing the reboot hard mode, because I don't want to engage any romantic relationship until I get clean, and I think it would be as well difficult to deal with amid this pandemic.
Well, friends, I hope I've explained it for you, even writing poor english. I'll will be keeping you updated.
Till next time! Thank you very much again.