The begining of my recovery journey.

Hello,
This is my 7th clean day,
I am pleased to meet such fighters all over the world,
Thad made me feel I am not alone.
I started porn and masturbation science I was 14,
It was an attractive matter in the first,I was curious about sex and porn and my body desire.
By time I got guilt feelings, unstoppable sexual desire,chronic fatigue, watery semen, schoolistic failures and whole my life was centeralised under my belt.
I stopped doing sports,reading , no more achievements, just fail trails to give up.
I tried everything could be tried,but they were useless.
I fall in depression, shame,guilt and a sought psychiatric advice who prescribed me antidepressants.
The longest duration I could keep clean was 90 days 3 years ago,but I relapsed again.
Masturbation was my big problem till 1 year ago,then I started porn regularly,and then I increased exposure till I fall in the trap of addiction.
I suffered from compulsive sexual behaviours ,when I was sleeping I suddenly wake up ,grasping my phone and watch porn. I couldn't stop myself. To be honest,I used porn to relief stress,some times it was the only source of pleasure in my life,it was misery.
I am preparing for marriage,so I am in a bad need to recover before that, I read "Your brain on porn"and I am afraid of losing my sexual functions,desire and things go more worse.
I am greetful to all of you being here,helping yourselves and other for recovery.
Wish me good luck in my journey.
Thank you.

Goodmorning
DAY 8

I was about relapse,but fortunately I didn't

Good job man. I've relapsed twice in two days  . How do you stay off porn during this time? My problems are looking at escort classifieds and cam sites.

TheNewDrugFighter said:

I was about relapse,but fortunately I didn't

Click to expand...

First,I modified my router setting to filter porn and date sites.
In my mobile phone I installed porn blocker app.
Second,I listed my triggers and relapsing situations (Relapsing situations: the situational Cascade ends by watching porn or masturbation. )
Those situations are like :sitting alone in my room,feeling bored,doing nothing on the mobile, a relapsing thought pops up in my mind: "what about exciting porn site".Then I slip into the cliff of the relapsing way.
I listed these situations, and tried to combat those situations by taking precautions and countermeasures plan.
I never stay lonely in my room,if I do,I go out with my family.
If no one in the home,I turn off mobile and laptop,doing sports ,reading, or practicing mindfulness.
Daily recovery routine :
Spiritual activity:Asking my God to help my in my path and give serenity to my heart.
Reading about recovery and damages of porn.
Writing here in my journal page and support others.
Doing a joyful activity to release my dopamine.
By the end of the day I assess my recovery plan.

So are you practising 12 steps?
I am 2 weeks free from Porn and masturbation but I cannot hide the fact that I will sometime try to achieve orgasms without masturbation. Because sometimes I feel a lot like a robot just putting a Barrier to my thoughts so I just let it flood and not reacting physically I just allow the emotions to Express..

I am interested in 12 STEPS and reading their inspiring, motivating literature. I am impressed by their spirituality ,but I don't attend their meetings.
Reboot "as I understand"aims to achieve sexual sobriety ,which reached by rewiring the neural tracts in the brain,so I ask you for review that point.
I wish you a serenity,r ecovery and happiness in our life.

Celebrating 10 days.
Thanks for Allah who helped me. I ask him for support through the way.

Day 11.

NewDrugFighter,

I just read your original post and the replies on this page thus far. Keep up the hard work - I'm right here with you I know it's tough, and I've relapsed too in the past. Also want to give you credit for being totally open and honest in the original post, I respect the authenticity and transparency , and I think on a platform like this that only leads to more support and community between members on here.

For some of the other people that posted that talked about what to do with thoughts when you have them, journaling is like a secret weapon for me. For me the whole "Just don't think about it," advice is kind of pointless. We can't always control our thoughts in the moment, but I do feel we can control what we do in response to them. What I did was start a word document that I just call "pages" and I just try to write in it daily, and as needed (usually times of stress, anger, frustration, etc.). It's just my way of getting thoughts out in a method known as stream of consciousness writing. Whatvever thoughts I have I just write and get it down, no matter what. Nobody has to ever see what I write and I may not go back and look at it, but it's my way of getting those thoughts out of my head and trapping them on paper to deal with later if I choose to. I always feel better after writing and getting it out though.

The second part to writing in that style of journaling is that I keep a special section for the times when I have relapsed in the past on using porn and how I feel after I use it, both in the short term and when I've failed to have sex or just keep an erection with another person. I've heard that this could be degrading and viewed as I'm "dwelling" on the fact that this happened, but I think to a degree this is productive. I like to see and sometimes read in the vivid detail that I wrote about how badly I feel about certain things as a result of pornography, and frankly it often let's me take a step back and not be so fixated on how badly I want to watch porn. By reading this, it's kind of like me being able to see the cliff that I'm getting ready to drive off of by watching porn and how badly I know I'll feel if I do, just because I wrote it in such detail before and know what it's like when I relapse.

Hope this helps - I'm working to get back into meditation as well, but I do feel that journaling is absolutely a secret weapon for this journey that I've found really helpful in the past. It feels really weird at first, but nobody ever needs to read what you write. Even if you're skeptical, I'd recommend just trying it out. As always, keep up the hard work and keep on improving each day!

DAY 12
Dear JB1997
I really appreciate your advice l,so I am keen on writing here my diary of recovery.
Thank you a lot dear.

You got it man - let me know how it goes. Journaling is a secret weapon if you ask me - hope it helps!!

-Josh

DAY 13
Amazing recovery sign,
Morning erection became longer,and harder

DAY 14
Night emission comeback

Its normal

Keep going, you doing great!

Thanks a lot Jek.
Yesterday I experinced a horrible streesor, I have a problem in dealing with stress and porn was a bad reliefer in the past.
Fortunately I reset ADSL router settings and banned porn sites, in such situations I used to be vulnerable to relapse and urge to porn used to be horrible,I acted compulsively, holding phone,going to bathroom, surfing porn site and PMO take place.
Those moments are my  major threats in my recovery iourney:
Boredom, Craving, Stress and Anxiety, Depression.
Without previous preparation for dealing with those moments and having a well planed strategy relapse takes place .
I am greatful to my God who helped me to reach this point and for rebootnation site , members who support my with courage and advices .
I post here for myself and your support.
Thank you.
Thank you all.

DAY 15

Cheers man congrats on 2 weeks - keep on going!

DAY 16
Thanks a lot for encourage JB1997

DAY 17