porn subs

How many wake-up calls do I need? And why do I keep giving in so easily to porn-subs?
Last night I had amazing sex with my wife, it was hot and passionate. I don't think I have ever had such a long lasting and hard erection, but I didn't cum. So obviously today is going to be difficult and temptation. I had an innocent but strong trigger and ended up browsing and looking at soft porn-subs. Just desperate for freedom. So I am going to start again, once again.

Today I sent the day relaxing and having fun with my wife, time we'll spent reuniting after some difficult times. A few days ago we were arguing and I lost it, got major angry and it all got out of hand. I knew deep inside that my anger was related to porn use. She doesn't know about this but I could not let myself tell her the truth, it would destroy her self esteem. I am trying to focus on being positive and realistic,  but the truth is that each day I must journal and/or write down something like this. Something real. Where I can objectively and rationally make the right decisions and to rewire my brain (conscious and subconscious) each day so that it will learn how to behave in every scenario.

How are you doing today? from your posts so far, i dont see the desire to quit this thing. but yu have to fight it, yes we can win.