Proffesor_NOMOREX
Member
Hello, I am 16 years old. I have been watching porn since I was around the ages of 9-10. Masturbation has always been in my life, even at a very young age.
For about a year now I have struggled with a porn addiction, while I never really realized it was an addiction or even attempted at stopping until 1 year prior to now.
There's been a shift in me this time around. I think I have finally realized the source to my porn addiction. Now as I have used porn since I was 9-10, I didn't watch it compulsively until I met a girl... I know it sounds ironic, but this girl and I developed a relationship when I was around 13-14 years old. I was madly in love with her, a huge crush! But she always insulted me, made me feel inadequate, inferior, and added insecurities to the pile of ones I already had. While I am not going to go into full detail on our relationship, these feelings she caused me during our relationship resulted in me turning to porn to feel better about myself. She often would even compliment other guys instead of me.. her boyfriend. (she also cheated on me)
I loved her, and I know I was even younger than I am now, but at the time I was very madly in love. We ultimately broke up, with her trying to get back with me, I said no. But the damage had already been done. This caused my two relationships after not to work out. Due to myself being emotionally and even in my opinion fucked up.
I developed PIED, this I discovered with my second relationship, and while it wasn't the cause of THAT breakup it did make me realize I needed to make a change.
SO here I am 1 year later. Having reduced my porn use tremendously, I have went through MANY relapses.
But each time I learned something new, something that has helped me go a little further in each one. My longest streak was around 30+ days.
It has gotten so much easier to go on longer streaks. This time it's different though, I realized my ex gf made me feel those feelings of inadequacy, and inferiority, but when on the outside I am none of those things.
This time it's going to be different, this is the time I will quit for good and nothing will stop me.
With the knowledge i've gained and the Lord Jesus Christ by my side, I will accomplish my goal.
90+ and even if my PIED isn't cured by then, I will be free!
Every journey begins with a single step.
For about a year now I have struggled with a porn addiction, while I never really realized it was an addiction or even attempted at stopping until 1 year prior to now.
There's been a shift in me this time around. I think I have finally realized the source to my porn addiction. Now as I have used porn since I was 9-10, I didn't watch it compulsively until I met a girl... I know it sounds ironic, but this girl and I developed a relationship when I was around 13-14 years old. I was madly in love with her, a huge crush! But she always insulted me, made me feel inadequate, inferior, and added insecurities to the pile of ones I already had. While I am not going to go into full detail on our relationship, these feelings she caused me during our relationship resulted in me turning to porn to feel better about myself. She often would even compliment other guys instead of me.. her boyfriend. (she also cheated on me)
I loved her, and I know I was even younger than I am now, but at the time I was very madly in love. We ultimately broke up, with her trying to get back with me, I said no. But the damage had already been done. This caused my two relationships after not to work out. Due to myself being emotionally and even in my opinion fucked up.
I developed PIED, this I discovered with my second relationship, and while it wasn't the cause of THAT breakup it did make me realize I needed to make a change.
SO here I am 1 year later. Having reduced my porn use tremendously, I have went through MANY relapses.
But each time I learned something new, something that has helped me go a little further in each one. My longest streak was around 30+ days.
It has gotten so much easier to go on longer streaks. This time it's different though, I realized my ex gf made me feel those feelings of inadequacy, and inferiority, but when on the outside I am none of those things.
This time it's going to be different, this is the time I will quit for good and nothing will stop me.
With the knowledge i've gained and the Lord Jesus Christ by my side, I will accomplish my goal.
90+ and even if my PIED isn't cured by then, I will be free!
Every journey begins with a single step.