Backtoreality
Member
I'm 30 years old, gay and i have been watching porn since i was 12, it started with a show called "Queer As Folk" on Showtime, this was just the beginning until our house got a computer with AOL... I never directly looked for it for fear that my mom or sisters would find what i had been searching not to mention i didn't even really know what to search for, I used chatrooms to meet other guys my age and sometimes older men (not knowing it was inappropriate) Then i stopped and had a normal life with normal relationships and a normal sex life. It wasn't until about 6 years ago i was in a bad relationship with a mentally and physical abusive person thus damaging my confidence and self-esteem. I started looking at porn again, getting deeper and deeper into it and began looking for raunchier porn the videos got dirtier and scarier bordering legality, by the end of the relationship we didn't talk much and definitely didn't have sex anymore so i jerked off to whatever i could find on the web. It has been like this ever since, except now i am in a relationship with a guy that i absolutely love but i find myself rushing home before him to open my mac and search for some go to videos to get off before he got home and even sometimes sneaking to the bathroom to jerk off to something on tumblr, by this time i already was having issues getting hard or staying hard with people and now with my partner. Its like my brain is there eager and ready to have sex but my dick doesn't want anything to do with it unless i go to a thought in my head of something i had seen before or maybe even past experiences. fast forward 6 years and here i am 30 years old and feeling helpless... I just want my sex life back feeling attractive and able to jump in bed and stay rock hard until i orgasm.