90 full days, I'm not healed yet.

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winerbr

Member
Hi friends, first of all I would like to say that I am Brazilian and I am using the translator, I felt this need to talk to you in a forum from another country, I am very distressed to speak the truth.

I lost my girlfriend due to PMO and I have no prospect of change, in a while ago I managed to stay more than 60 days without PMO and we had amazing sex, but after numerous relapses she lost her patience with me .. unfortunately

I'm addicted to videos like, pussy, cuckolded, gangbang, femdom chastity, I've already masturbated more than 20 times, taking turns in online games and pornography, I want to get rid of it, I think of suicide and the like, my life is good in others But that sucks.

I would like anyone who comments to talk about which country / state that speaks, I think it's nice to have help from people who (probably) will never see in life, I need a lot of fight brothers :(
 
W

winerbr

Member
remembering that today is my day "zero" and I will have the commitment to post my progress here, I was accessing pornography on tv but I managed a way to block the browser for it, and you are from where on planet earth?

Another curious question, do you gringos have the view that Brazil is land of whoring? or a very corrupt or violent country? It's more of a curiosity and they do not have to respond if they do not want to, thank you.

 
L

LeanAndBop

Active Member
Hey, I hope you're OK. This sounds very hard. I know this feeling of hopelessness. You've been through a difficult experience. When I feel this low it usually passes and I'm sure it will for you. Everything is temporary. No?
Getting to 60 days is amazing. If you can do it once then why not again? And why not more? Keep learning and trying to do better.
I wish you all the best,
From the UK
 
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winerbr

Member
thank you friend of the united kingdom, I hope you are winning this fight against addiction too, today is my day 1 and I hope it is the last day 1, I can not take it anymore, if here in brazil pornography already causes so much damage, imagine then for these where the internet exists the longest.
 
kadeshzelbriel

kadeshzelbriel

Member
Power to you brother, wishing you the best. I know you feel so frustrated, that sounds really really difficult. Have some patience with it - it's not linear, it's normal to take a lot of time to get over this thing. Just keep remembering why it matters to you, and don't get too discouraged with relapsing. Every day is a new day.
 
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winerbr

Member
That is what I think, the problem is that I am already 5 or 6 years trying to do this and I can not, it is one of the biggest challenges of my life, if not the biggest, but we will see, tomorrow is the 2nd.
 
kadeshzelbriel

kadeshzelbriel

Member
Have you thought about hiring a coach or a therapist to support you and explore what's going on for you there? If you feel stuck, usually it means you need to broaden the approach - there's only so far you can get with willpower alone.
 
L

LeanAndBop

Active Member
winerbr said:
thank you friend of the united kingdom, I hope you are winning this fight against addiction too, today is my day 1 and I hope it is the last day 1, I can not take it anymore, if here in brazil pornography already causes so much damage, imagine then for these where the internet exists the longest.
Click to expand...

Thanks this is kind of you. I know that feeling. Hoping it will be last day 1. You are not alone. Taking it one day at a time or even a few hours at a time had been useful for me.

 
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winerbr

Member
today is day 2 already, thanks to the anonymous colleagues of other nations, we are going to the last day 2
 
Q

Quitforeverthenwin

Active Member
Keep it up! We are rooting for you! In my experience the journal and the forum can be a big extra help. If you did 60 days you can quit it for good!
 
Fabricioalves

Fabricioalves

Member
Hi man! I'll answer in english, because I believe there are more people that have to read it. My story with porn is like yours. These fantasies change our brain for real. But if you stay away from it, your brain will turn off the sinapses that give you dopamine when you watch stuffs like those. I wrote a post about this, but with 60 days I was able to have sex with my girlfriend. So there is hope, relax. You can change it
 
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winerbr

Member
Thank you friends! I'm coming in a week and I hope to stay strong, I even wish a flatline for me, yesterday I was in the dorm bed and I was looking for a way to fall, albeit unconsciously, and you are from which country?
 
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winerbr

Member
fall again and I'm hopeless, I'm posting here the next few days to see how far I can go that way, good night everyone.
 
W

winerbr

Member
thank you, now I have managed to recover some of the strength after falling for two days without stopping, let's see if it increases some victory.
 
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winerbr

Member
Hello gentlemen.
It's been a long time since I made the last post here, I was sunk in PMO, I ended up losing my relationship as I feared, so many bad things happened, I started another reboot and now I'm in the range of almost two months without practicing PMO, there are evils coming for good.
I'm here from Brazil reading reports, and posting my story, I was flatline practically from the 20th to the 40th, then I had sex three times, working perfectly twice, and on the third brooch, but keep firm, I'm firm in reboot!
 
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winerbr

Member
I'm close to 50 days and despite having a good erection a few days ago, I was flatline again for a few days, and today I woke up with morning erection, and a big craving to see porn today, but I'll be strong, I'm in a good mark and wish luck to all sufferers.
 
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winerbr

Member
Today officially complete 2 months of reboot, without any pornography, masturbation and orgasm, just real sex ... The only contact I have with the digital medium is social network, but I have no cracks with pictures of women or anything, normal use without any kind of stimulation.

Today I tried sex and had only a strong initial erection, then I had nothing left, my brain damage can be very large, I really didn't realize it would be so much.
I know I posted a few posts ago that I had a wonderful sex, but when things like that happen today, our brain tends to rationalize that reboot doesn't work, I know it's a lie, but it's hard to convince yourself that A logical truth, I didn't want to be those guys that only heal after straight months of reboot, maybe 7 8 or so, I really wanted everything to be easier, but let's keep going.
 
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