Why is it that my brain doesn't care anymore???

Hello,

Despite being a virgin and never having a girlfriend (and always wanting a GF and sex), why is it that now, through the rebooting process, my brain no longer craves these things???

Doesn't care about sex anymore, doesn't get interested at looking at real women anymore (nor porn, of course), and doesn't care anymore when two couples are being romantic/loving to each other when in public. I (or my brain!) can hardly even get sad about it anymore. (I do in a way want to be more sad about it as this the normal way if you don't have a GF or sex in your life!)

Just so confusing and worrying.

DepressedAndOut said:

Hello,

Despite being a virgin and never having a girlfriend (and always wanting a GF and sex), why is it that now, through the rebooting process, my brain no longer craves these things???

Doesn't care about sex anymore, doesn't get interested at looking at real women anymore (nor porn, of course), and doesn't care anymore when two couples are being romantic/loving to each other when in public. I (or my brain!) can hardly even get sad about it anymore. (I do in a way want to be more sad about it as this the normal way if you don't have a GF or sex in your life!)

Just so confusing and worrying.

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I don't think there is anything wrong with you, your body has adapted to the new reality - which is that you are not requiring it to be sexual at this time. It has probably down regulated your testosterone a little, you are intentionally not thinking about sex, and your brain is still recalibrating/rewiring. If you add these things together, there is no reason for your brain to be sexually focussed. I think that it will take a real person to come into your life to spark your interest again - somebody who attracts you and excites you. Somebody you feel the need to be close to and intimate with. Once that happens, your brain will flick the switch and start getting your sexual functions active again. You should be grateful that the urges are not there at the moment. You don't need them now. You need them for your future partner. If you had them now, you might waste them on porn.

Despite what you might think, men are not supposed to be preoccupied with sex when there is no outlet for it - that is a myth that porn has created. Anthropologically, do you think as man was faced with survival and hunting for food, he was obsessing about having his next orgasm, be it with a woman or himself? No, he was doing the necessary things and conserving his energy. When times were comfortable and he had access to a mate, that's when he had sex. Our modern world is simply hyper sexual and misrepresents sex as something we should be constantly thinking about - even if we are in no position to get it. Porn made that process addictive for us. But people can be focussed on other things for a long time if it makes sense to do so.

Give yourself a break and have some trust that your brain and body will work when the time comes to use it with a real woman. In the meantime, you should be socially active so that your ability to meet people doesn't decline. You need to be out there mixing with people so that you have the opportunity to meet somebody who excites you.

I think this is normal for rebooters at some point. You'll probably have to spend more time around women for sex drive and/or romantic drive to return. Maybe you're still in flatline or maybe your drives have just waned from lack of use. In my case I had low sex drive or the first 6 months of my reboot, virtually no drive from months 2-4, but romantic drive stayed normal. I'm currently over 11 months in.

It has probably down regulated your testosterone a little

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There is no correlation between testosterone and sex drive -_- testosterone peaks at age 30ish, sex drive peaks at 18 for males

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/1464655
"Testosterone administration... increased peak testosterone levels 400-500% above baseline... There were no changes in the measurement of sexual interaction with the partner and no changes in either group in the frequency of sexual intercourse, masturbation, or penile erection on waking...There were no changes in SES 3, which measures aspects of sexual interaction with the partner."

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15181066
"TU (testosterone) treatment did not increase aggressive behavior or induce any changes in sexual behavior."

Teenagers have about the same testosterone levels as 70 year olds:

It sounds like a withdrawal symptom to me. This addiction has fucked up your ability to think straight. There is your real brain behind the one you have fucked up with porn. But I see you have a good record of not looking at porn...
Those stats you posted don't mean shit. They seem like just excuses and lame attempts.
Forget all this bullshit statistics shit that youre into and focus on the one true way to get over your fucked up problem: the reboot
Don't think too much about this. Just don't look at porn and eliminate triggers. that's all it takes. So shove those statistical rat-fuck "findings" up an arse and get on with it!