Recently discovered husband has been watching porn

Not sure where to start with this. . . The whole family upgraded to smartphones two months ago.  A few weeks ago I wanted to show my husband something on the internet on his phone, opened safari and right there on the page that popped up was a picture on the last page he had looked at.  This was the first hint of what was going on but I thought it was only that one image; he has a 'buddy' who sent him links to occasional pics like that. When I rather jokingly asked him if he'd been looking at any more pics a few days later, he shrugged and told me to look at his phone, he had nothing to hide.  A few days after that I took him up on that and snuck his phone out of the room early one morning and looked at his history, which I am not sure he realized had been stored to the extent it was.  I found that more often than not in the past two months, he  spent his nights downstairs on his phone looking at other women.  What scared me was the amount of time he was spending on it.  There would be dozens and dozens of clips on a single night.  Even if he didn't watch every clip to the end I knew he was spending a couple of hours at it some nights.  He would come to bed just before I got up for my paper route, and I realized that that was probably the only thing that made him stop, knowing I was going to be up.  It hit me like a ton of bricks.  I began to wonder right then if porn could truly be addicting.  Somehow I managed to wait a few days before really talking to him about it.  A journal in that time helped me sort out my feelings, so that when I did bring it up it was in a very loving way, I told him I was very concerned for him and I was scared.  I had found the YBOP site by then which helped me understand a lot, and I showed him the first two Your Brain On Porn videos that weekend.  I flatly told him, 'If you're not addicted, you will be.'  He actually took it to heart and is trying to stop, but he hasn't watched all the videos and does not even know about rebooting yet.  He doesn't want to talk about it all the time and I knows he already thinks I am obsessed with it, so I try to give him space, especially during his stressful work week but I have told him I would like to talk about it more this weekend. I am afraid of making the wrong move, either by pushing him more than he is ready for or by backing off too much.  He is a wonderful man, I Love him deeply and will never leave him, but I don't think he understands how deeply this hurts.

My only advice as a woman who has been through this is to know where you stand as you are on your own journey. This is his addiction and he is the only one that can stop it.  No amount of pushing or not pushing is going to change him if he doesn't want to.  It sounds like you don't want to leave him and want to support him on his journey so that is good.  Get real clear within your heart on what is acceptable to you and express that to him.

The worst thing is that before I realized what was going on, I had actually begun to think that I had a problem, being obsessive about sex.  I was reaching out desperately to him, wondering why he never initiated it anymore, and the more distant he seemed, the more I wanted him with me.  It's easier to put that into perspective now for me, but I think that he thinks I am obsessed with just wanting the physical act.  I don't think he knows that it's the intimacy I missed so badly.  I could easily live without the sex for awhile, if that's what he decides he needs to reboot.  But I need to feel that intimacy.

Unfortunately porn is driving a wedge between many couples nowadays.  I read a statistic that over 50% of divorces are due to porn use.  That stat makes me so sad because porn is breaking up families and taking parents away from children  :-\

Intimacy is a big part of marriage and it's what was missing in my marriage as well.  I tolerated it for far too long not knowing why.  Now that we have recovered and our sex/intimacy has been mended our life looks completely different.  I didn't even know what I was missing.  I wish the same for you too.

porn can be addictive for sure.
But vast majority of men don't think it's a bad addiction or have no idea of
the repercussions. I didn't know I would get PIED or else I would've scaled back
a long time ago.
I've never been married but I've also never had a problem with communicating with
my SO (significant other) about issues affecting our relationship.
You've already decided that this isn't acceptable behavior for someone married
to you and now you have to find the strength to tell him about this.
And how it makes your feel.

I think it's been like a couple weeks so I'm interested in knowing whatever came out of it.
I'm glad more and more women are finding this forum and sharing.
It's a bigger issue than we think.