Author Topic: Stone Wall! Build me a Stone Wall! (against PMO)  (Read 181 times)

fanatic4128

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Stone Wall! Build me a Stone Wall! (against PMO)
« on: September 13, 2017, 08:44:00 AM »
Hey y'all

I was eight years old when I was first exposed to p. I don't quite remember how it happened, but I do know it was at that age. It wasn't too bad until I turned 11, when I was diagnosed with cancer. I turned to PMO for comfort, and it helped, but I quickly became addicted. (I'm cancer free now, btw). I'm 15 years old now, and it sucks, as I'm sure y'all know. I fight for up to a week, but eventually I relapse. My parents know I deal with this, but I think they're just trying to sweep it under the carpet, and hoping I'll just get over it, which isn't working. I'm two days PMO free at the moment, but it's just getting so hard. The most difficult thing is that I'm homeschooled with all my classes online, so I'm almost always on the laptop. I try to stay around people, but I also know the ways to get away and by myself. I hope this'll help me. My main goal is to be completely PM free, with O's only happening with real women, obviously. But, short term, two weeks.

~Fanatic4128

fanatic4128

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Re: Stone Wall! Build me a Stone Wall! (against PMO)
« Reply #1 on: September 13, 2017, 08:58:50 PM »
Well, dang it. I PMO'ed today, but I realized my main trigger is extreme boredom. I installed a p blocker and blocked as many sights as I could. Deleted various social media accounts, and my mindset is to keep fighting. I went to a dance class, and was able to take my mind off things and refocus. Tomorrow'll be better, I know that. I'm ready to take it on. I'm going to do my best to stay active and keep my mind occupied. I'll be doing school around my family now, so that they can see whatever I'm doing.

fanatic4128

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Re: Stone Wall! Build me a Stone Wall! (against PMO)
« Reply #2 on: September 15, 2017, 08:13:32 AM »
Missed yesterday night's update, so I'm posting it this morning, and then I'll post tonight about today. I PMO'ed again yesterday, because I was left home alone. :/ I think I figured out something that helps. I'm a huge metal fan, and listening to metal helps me to keep my mind off stuff, so I'm listening to a lot of metal now. Also, I've got to watch my younger siblings today, so I'll be around them all day, which should help me to stay focused.

fanatic4128

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Re: Stone Wall! Build me a Stone Wall! (against PMO)
« Reply #3 on: September 15, 2017, 08:26:56 PM »
*fistpump* Got through it. I felt some temptation earlier today, but was able to get through that. The metal music really helped keep me distracted, as I thought it would, so I'll be listening to more metal throughout my days. I started Covenant Eyes' 40 Day Porn Free Challenge, so that should really help me out. All in all, I'm quite hopeful for the rest today. "Cause I'm Hopeful, yes I am, hopeful for this day, take this music and use it, let it take you away." (Hopeful ~ Bars and Melody)

fanatic4128

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Re: Stone Wall! Build me a Stone Wall! (against PMO)
« Reply #4 on: September 16, 2017, 11:39:09 AM »
*sigh* Y'all, I know this isn't my typical time, but I just PMO'ed...again. This is totally not working. I know there's hope and all, but I just can't get through it. What's helped you guys?

fanatic4128

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Re: Stone Wall! Build me a Stone Wall! (against PMO)
« Reply #5 on: September 16, 2017, 07:33:48 PM »
Alright, full on update. *sigh* So, as you know, I PMO'ed once today, and that was all. I'm going to talk to my Youth Pastor tomorrow, and see if he'd be willing to be my accountability partner and check in on me every few days or so, I think it'll help. *nod* So, I'm gonna keep fighting.

fanatic4128

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Re: Stone Wall! Build me a Stone Wall! (against PMO)
« Reply #6 on: September 18, 2017, 07:29:07 AM »
Missed last night on accident. I'll post today about it, then tonight about today. Anywho, I MO'ed, but without p yesterday morning, which I find is an improvement. Additionally, I was able to talk to my youth pastor last night after youth group, and he agreed to be my accountability partner and help me out, so whenever I have difficulty, I can call or text him and whatnot.

fanatic4128

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Re: Stone Wall! Build me a Stone Wall! (against PMO)
« Reply #7 on: September 19, 2017, 11:43:29 AM »
GAH!! I keep PMO'ing. Guys, I know like no one reads this, but to those who do, I need help. Please say something, cause right now, even though I see all this stuff around me, I feel alone, and it's so hard to stay encouraged...

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Re: Stone Wall! Build me a Stone Wall! (against PMO)
« Reply #8 on: September 21, 2017, 07:59:05 AM »
Haven't posted in a couple days. Yesterday I went completely PMO free, which felt amazing. Day 2 is just starting, and I'm going strong.